Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 13

How do we not look forward to Christmas?  Let us count the ways.  That’s just what The Nest is doing every day this month until the fat man comes crashing onto your roof with our Vatican unapproved Shelf Critter Advent Calendar!  So, what unlucky critter are we going to find waiting for us on this Friday the 13th?

Gee, who’d have guessed?

BUSTER: Hiya everyone!  I hope everyone is having a swell and awesome holiday season!

Keep blowing sunshine out of your ass like that, Buster, and you’re going to get colon cancer.  Now, before the inevitable happens, why don’t you tell us what Christmas means to a possum like you?

BUSTER: Aw, there’s so much I love about Christmas!  It’s a great time to be alive!  But more than anything, Christmas to me is the wonderful and bountiful feast to be shared with family and friends!  I’m even the guest of honor at this year’s Shelf Critter holiday party!

I think you mean the main course…

TWILIGHT: So AJ, would you like white meat or dark meat?

APPLEJACK: Naw, a possum’s all mystery meat!  Just put a bunch on my plate, Sugarcube.  I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!

TWILIGHT: You ARE a horse, AJ.

AJ: I know!  That’s how hungry I am!

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Share Your World – Week 49

Wait, is that my backyard?

Before I Share My World, how about I share my world (notice the lack of CAPS) with you?  After much procrastinating, one company stiffing me, and another putting me on a two month waiting list… I was finally able to get a badly needed yard project done.  The oak tree which you’ve seen in many a Saturday Squirrel photo has been overgrowing onto my roof for years now.  Well, that is no longer the case as of about an hour ago.

My squirrels… they will get back at me for this…

The many twisting and turning offshoot branches near the base of the tree where I got so many of my great photos are also gone.  My poor squirrels will have nowhere near the ground to perch while eating the spoils I put out for them.  And they will no longer be able to use my roof to get from the backyard tree to the frontyard tree anymore… which sucks for them, but which I am grateful for.

And thus why I am also late with doing this post since my creative energy all becomes nervous energy every time someone is working on something around my house.  But the time has finally come to address Melanie’s SYW questions for the week!  Let’s break out the chainsaw and carve out the logo…

Yep, this one again….

What is truth?

One of the things Superman fights for… along with justice and the American way.  None of those three concepts are necessarily related…

Dammit!!! Has anyone seen a phone booth around here!?!?

What’s one thing people would never know about you just by looking at you?

That I’ve been working at Mecca for over 20 years now.  Well, they wouldn’t know that by looking at my badge at work, since I don’t wear the special service badge we get at every five year level.  The last two say “WILLIAM,” which I don’t answer to… so I wear the plain old rookie badge my manager made for me three years ago after the last style change.  The customers also don’t expect me to know much, which is an advantage of not advertising your tenure…

You know they spelled “Dumbass” wrong on your nametag there, dude…

Do loud noises bother you?

Only when I’m trying to sleep, which during the day can be an issue. (See: Day, Independence)

Biskit, on the other hand, HATES loud noises.  And he certainly didn’t enjoy all the tree cutting that happened earlier today and had to hide…

Are the monsters outside gone yet?

If you were guaranteed the correct answer to just one question, what would you ask?

Come on…. you know you wanna know!

What fills YOUR heart with joy?

This tinsel rainbow unicorn I picked up on my Black Friday discount shopping spree this past Monday.  I had to have it, and since it’s sitting on top of my computer desk right now, I guess you can say I’ve officially decorated for Christmas….

Looks like the welcome wagon has arrived to break in the newbie…

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Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 12

The Nest is counting down the days until Christmas with our very own special Advent calendar featuring my Shelf critters, who are working off their community service punishments by appearing in this series.  Let’s open the door for the Twelfth of Never and see if anything better than Donny Osmond can be found there…

Oh, it’s Zac the overly medicated squirrel.

ZAC: OMG!  People!  Hello!  Howdy!  Wazzup?  Howya all doing?  I’m fine!  Great!  Ecstatic!  So happy happy joy joy!!!!  I think I just wet my fur!!!

Good grief, calm yourself down and don’t mess up your space on the calendar because we’re just going to reuse it again next year.  Well, what does Christmas mean to you, Zac?

ZAC: Happiness!  Happy! Happy! Happy!!!!  The happiest most glad-arific and super duper time of the year!!!!  Christmas makes me more than happy!  More than more than happy!!!!  YAY!!!!

ZAC: I’m so so so happy it’s totally the Christmas season!  I’m holly and jolly by golly Miss Molly!!!  I’ve just maxed out all of my credit cards, been invited to ten holiday parties on the same evening, have to get Secret Santa gifts for the entire office and my bowling team, and I almost got killed at Mecca trying to grab the last Baby Shark toy!!!  Fun Fun Fun!  Happy Happy Happy!!!!

LUNA: You look like you could use a hot, steaming cup of STF… I mean, coffee.  Drink up…

ZAC: Glug Glug Glug!!!!  Wow, this coffee is awesome!!!  It tastes like shit and I love it!!!  Is that peppermint spice I taste?  Yum Yumma Yummy!!!

LUNA: Actually, I laced it with arsenic… ten times the lethal dose.

ZAC: Coolio!!!  I’m lovin’ it!!!  Glug Glug Glug!!! Happy Christmas to all and to all a happy slappy night!!!

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Winter Vacation

a box full of junk

Wednesday may be in the middle of your week… but here at The Nest, Wednesday is also in the middle of nowhere.  Who knows where we’ll end up journeying today with another completely scattershot exercise we call Random Image Inspiration!  Randomator, do some randomating…

39, 80, 75, 34

The 39th post in my Reader was this one by Beth

The 80th word in that post is “left”

The 75th word in that post is “just”

Putting “left just” into Google Images brought this up as the 34th result…

That’s perfect, because I don’t have a lot of time this morning, and didn’t want to have to come back to this later in the day.  It’s almost Christmas/winter vacation for the brats kids, so I’m sure the cool kids who actually know their music history will soon be singing along to a little Alice.  Today’s edition of RII will just be a great rock and roll earworm….

And I won’t dare say it’s better, but I kinda like the version by Krokus that got played a lot on VH-1 Classic back in the day….

Random Image Inspiration is out……. ’til next Wednesday.

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Shelf Critter Advent Calendar – Day 11

We’re only two weeks away from The Big Day, which you would know if you were following our Shelf Critter Advent Calendar vignettes each morning.  Or I guess you could read it on the big sign at Mecca’s front door reminding you how many more shopping days you have left to buy gifts your family will hate.  Well, let’s crank this calendar up to eleven and see what happens…

Oh geez, a big ugly Troll!  That oughta scare the kids…

TROLL: Good!  That will get them out of my hair… I mean, off of my lawn!

You mean the grass around your park bench?  Since you’re here, you may as well tell us what Christmas means to a Troll like you…

TROLL: Christmas means helping out the less fortunate in life!

Like, uhhhhh, yourself?

TROLL: Precisely!  Now, can anybody spare a dime for an over-educated, under-employed Troll who’s down on his luck?

TROLL: Ooooh!  Ouch!

BYSTANDER: (Tossing a penny) Get a job, you lousy bum!!!!

TROLL: I should have (OW!) asked for paper currency instead!  (Yikes!)  The liquor store owner hates it when I buy my (OW!) brown bag wine with all pennies anyway….. (OW!)

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