EVIL SQUIRREL: Troll! Shouldn’t you be scrubbing the toilets right now?
TROLL: Sorry sir, but Hung Lo just locked himself in there again… and he’ll probably be in there a few hours…….. or days.
SCRATCHY: I see you’re using your time to beg for change again.
TROLL: Oh this? No, we’ve started a pool on which critter’s going to have the #1 song! Wanna get in for two bucks? The house only takes a 90% rake…
ES: Troll, I made up this list and I already know who got the top song!
TROLL: You’d be a cinch to win then, sir! Especially when most of the critters picked themselves to win even though they were already chosen. They won’t beat me, though… my man’s still in the game!
SCRATCHY: And that would be….?
GEORGE: Remember me?
ES: No, but I’m finally going to insist Mitzi go on birth control!
SCRATCHY: Sponkies! Tell us who’s up next… and I’m sure it isn’t this clown.
SPONKIE 2: At number six is….
SPONKIE 1: Brother Bear!!!
SCRATCHY: What? Why him?
ES: Why are you so critical about your fellow critters? Lighten up and share the love!
SCRATCHY: Grunt! Well, where is he?
BROTHER BEAR: (Waving) Yoohoo! Over here!
SCRATCHY: Well, what’s the hold up, dude? Get your ass over here!
BROTHER: Sorry, but you know I have a manufacturing defect and can only lay here.
SCRATCHY: Then you’re shit out of luck! Let’s move on to number five…
ES: Come on, Scratchy, we’re going to have to go to him.
SCRATCHY: Are you out of your mind!?!? I’m not lugging all of my equipment halfway across the stage just to accommodate some worthless stooge!
ES: And I’m not raiding the pension fund again to settle another ADA lawsuit against us! Let’s go…
SCRATCHY: Grrrrrr… I need to hire a roadie.
BROTHER: Hello there!
SCRATCHY: Fuck you, Plank Boy!
ES: Let’s get this over with, Brother Bear. You know I only put up with your shit so I don’t get slapped.
BROTHER: Of course! I chose a song that really gets me moving on the dance floor!
SCRATCHY: You mean like you were “moving” across our stage?
BROTHER: You’ve never seen me do the lying man before? All the chicks at the club really dig it!
SCRATCHY: Yeah, sure…
HEDDY: (Hopping aboard) OMG! It’s THE Brother Bear! You’re so cute all sprawled out and limp on the floor like that!
SCRATCHY: I’ll bet that’s not the only way he’s limp…
BROTHER: I don’t have a manufacturing defect there, miss!
ES: OK, this is TMI…. just play his damn song already!
While pop music may have taken a step back as the new millennium dawned twenty years ago, there were still plenty of great bands under the radar making a lot of really good music that didn’t get the same amount of radio airplay as Lady Gaga and Beyonce. And once again, Celine Dion and Justin Bieber notwithstanding, it was our neighbors to the north who were sending their awesome rock tunes south of the border.
Finger Eleven formed in the early 90’s, but didn’t get noticed until their 2003 single “One Thing” made an impression. Four years later, they were back with an even bigger hit that managed to get to #6 on the US Hot 100 and is definitely one of the better songs of the 00’s…
“Paralyzer” is about how out of place normal people can feel at a dance club full of hipsters dancing like maniacs to music with entirely too much bass. I’m sure that’s the same way this song felt getting played on the same radio stations that in the late 2000’s were blasting out The Pussycat Dolls and Ludacris…
Of course, the most awesome fact about this Canadian group is that during their first seven years they were known as Rainbow Butt Monkeys. Why they felt the need to change their name to Finger Eleven is beyond me…
While that club will hopefully be closed in three weeks, this countdown still has five to go! Come back next Monday as the SCT Request Countdown enters the Top 5!