My Art Will Go On

titanic squirrels

At the suggestion of Merby, here’s the second entry in what will (at least for now) be my new regular Tuesday feature, Draw Me A Picture!  She wanted to see “my critters do the draw me a pictureTitanic thing,” so here we have Evil Squirrel and the very underused Angel playing king of the world on history’s most infamous unsinkable ship.  ES looks a bit awkward in this one because I had to make him so tall to be looking over Angel’s shoulder… and I normally draw him a tad smaller than most of my characters!

So anyway, like I said, this will be my new Tuesday thing.  I’m clearing the board from last week and inviting everyone to submit any and all suggestions for what they would like me to draw via the contact form that can be found in DMAP’s newly created page, which can always be found under the Regular Features tab in my header (I’ll also eventually include an easier link to it in my sidebar somewhere).  Go ahead everyone and inspire me!

Posted in Draw Me A Picture | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

Desperately Seeking Earworms

This was so raunchy in 1984.  I hope it doesn't offend your delicate sensibilities today.

This was so raunchy in 1984. I hope it doesn’t offend your delicate sensibilities today.

It’s the day of the week that’s always comes under a lucky star, Monday!  That means it’s time to get into the groove with another true blue lost masterpiece that can only be found across the borderline of The Nest’s Dusty Vinyl Archive.  DJ Scratchy doesn’t care whether you like a virgin or a prayer, she never takes a holiday from queuing up the old school jams that would make your Papa preach and cause a commotion.  I hope you all cherish the many unclever titles I’ve worked into this intro, unlike the Sponkies who had the misfortune of not getting to live through the vogue 80’s.  Oh well, it’s time to express ourselves….

dusty vinyl

Yeah, if it wasn’t obvious from everything you saw and read above, today’s featured artist is Madonna… you may have heard of her before.  She couldn’t quite get her early career right on track with Breakfast Club, so she eventually sought out on her own in 1983 and would go on to become the most influential female artist of the past three decades.  That long litany of songs I embedded within the introduction should be well known to even the most casual fans of the material girl, but it all started out with a couple of club hits that never saw the light of day on any of the mainstream Billboard charts.

What gets played in da club stays in da club.

What gets played in da club stays in da club.

One of those lost songs that springboarded Madonna’s career did have a music video that introduced pop’s new ray of light to the MTV masses before she first broke into the mainstream, and that was this awesome little dance pop number “Burning Up”…

It’s hard to believe this song didn’t get any pop chart love… I guess this music didn’t make the people come together.  But the video sure did set the tone for pretty much every Madonna video that followed.  The blonde bombshell gets down and dirty by seductively slinking and sliding her sultry self all over that road that some possum had probably just gotten squashed on earlier.

It's gonna be an interesting morning for the roadkill patrol.

It’s gonna be an interesting morning for the roadkill patrol.

Sadly this song pretty much only lives on today in that music video, which is hard to catch anymore now that the best retro music video channel on cable (VH1-Classic) has bitten the dust.  Oddly enough, those who may not even be familiar with this song would probably recognize some of the signature elements of “Burning Up’s” video… it was even incorporated towards the end of Weird Al Yankovic’s video for his Madonna parody “Like A Surgeon.”

And you thought you only had to fear the music destroying your brain this week...

And you thought you only had to fear the music destroying your brain this week…

I’ll be back next Monday to dress you up in yet another lost song that was banished to La Isla Bonita…

Time for me to take a bow.

Time for me to take a bow.

Posted in Dusty Vinyl Archive | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Unpretty?

Awwww, another.... um, cute squirrel photo.

Awwww, another…. um, cute squirrel photo.

For all of the reasons people have to dislike the pest-like nature of squirrels, their one saving grace has always been the fact that they are so adorable that their cuteness can even melt the most crusty heart.  Their big shiny eyes, button nose and ready smile are all wrapped up in the cutest sqturday squirrel logofur coat you’ve seen…. making them nature’s model of animal beauty.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen an ugly squirrel before…. though I guess if one came close to looking like he forgot to line up when Mother Nature was handing out good looks, it’s this one above I came across at the park last year.  He’s kinda haggard looking… maybe an older squirrel whose best days have long since scurried off into the sunset.  Or maybe he just woke up and hasn’t had a chance to tend to his appearance yet.  Can we get this squirrel some makeup?

And he does look a bit melancholy laying out on that branch.  Awwww…. poor little guy.  I didn’t mean to pick on you and single you out for not having that classic sciurine look that practically defines cute.  You may not induce a chorus of squees, but you do have a unique charm to your physical appearance that more than qualifies you to be this week’s alternatively adorable Saturday Squirrel.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Posted in Saturday Squirrel | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

The Rejects

Sorry Charlie.

Sorry Charlie.

In a continued attempt to come up with a new regular Friday feature to keep the smartass sarcasm flowing on a day when I should be posting every week, I brainstormed a lot of new ideas that seemed really great right up until the moment they left the moldy confines of my grey matter.  But hey, there’s no reason to have all of that brainpower go to waste by just washing it down the drain along with the pesticides and blood spatter…

I can't let PETA know what happens to possums here.

I can’t let PETA know what happens to possums here.

So I compiled some of the truly shittiest replacement ideas I came up with to present to you today in countdown form!  Since David Letterman probably has a worldwide pants patent on the intellectual property of the Top 10 list… to keep his lawyers from dragging my mangy tail to court, I’m proud to present today…..

The Top 13 Rejected Ideas For My Next Friday Series on Evil Squirrel’s Nest!

Alright, who wrote this shit?  Larry "Bud" Melman?

Alright, who wrote this shit? Larry “Bud” Melman?

Can I get a drum roll please, Hottie?

drum roll

Number Thirteen….. Friday Squirrels Gone Wild!

Get a nest, you two.

Get a nest, you two.

Number Twelve…. 101 Uses For Leftover Chileh

Chileh wrestling.... that should be a thing.

Chileh wrestling…. that should be a thing.

Number Eleven…. Make Me Barf!

It was either this or Toilet Cereal...

It was either this or Toilet Cereal

Number Ten…. Friday Fucked Up Pony Theatre

Actually...... this might be fun.

Actually…… this might be fun.

Number Nine…. Baseball Fridays!

The internet needs more photos of stadium scoreboards.

The internet really needs more photos of stadium scoreboards.

Number Eight…. Earworm Karaoke Night!

Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiii- Sing it with me, folks!  Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiii- Sing it with me, folks! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…..

Number Seven…. Friday Rants By Chewy The Capybara

I really hate kids who won't share their ice cream and men who wear socks with flip flops.  Oh, and my balls itch.

I really hate kids who won’t share their ice cream and men who wear socks with flip flops. Oh, and my balls itch.

Number Six…. Fuck It Fridays!

Not to be confused with Fuck It February (FuYuBloMe).  Only six more months to get your laziness on!

Not to be confused with Fuck It February (FuYuBloMe). Only six more months to get your laziness on!

Number Five… Posts Loaded Up With Gratuitous Links To Try And Bait You Into Reading Some Of My Old Shit Fridays!

Yeah, you know you're curious as to where this image came from.

Yeah, you know you’re curious as to where this image of George Washington driving a car came from.

Number Four…. Uncle Evil’s Bedtime Stories For Young Children

Once upon a fucking time....

Once upon a fucking time….

Number Three…. My Millionaire Journey -The Rerun!

What a fantastic idea!  Let me warm up my singing voice...

What a fantastic idea! Let me warm up my singing voice…

Number Two…. Reblog Someone Else’s Awesome Post And Take All The Credit Fridays!

Also rejected as a new Friday series.... any kind of political talk.

Also rejected as a new Friday series…. any kind of political talk.

And the Number One Rejected Idea For My Next Friday Series On Evil Squirrel’s Nest Is………….

Totally Naked Fridays!

Sometimes you just gotta let it all air out...

Sometimes you just gotta let it all air out… if anything.

Well, that’s a good impression of what I won’t be considering to drag the quality of my blog even further into the septic tank.  Will I find regularity by next Friday?  There’s only one way to find out….

The shit will just keep on coming!

One thing’s for sure…. the shit will just keep on coming!

Posted in Squirrel Droppings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #225 — 8/18/16

comic81816

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments