Evil Squirrel's Nest

A Slice Of Life

Posted on September 20, 2021 by evilsquirrel13

♪ ♫ In a gadda da vida, honey
Don’t you know that I’m lovin’ you ♪ ♫

♪ ♫ Oh, won’t you come with me
And take my hand
Oh, won’t you come with me
And walk this land ♪ ♫

♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ♫

EVIL SQUIRREL: (Checking his Fuzzywig watch….. it’s 4:20)

ES: Where the heck were you?

SCRATCHY: I told you I was going to take a dump! That’s why I put the Iron Butterfly record on. You know prog rock was invented so deejays would have time to drop a deuce while on the job…

ES: I don’t believe you.

SCRATCHY: You probably don’t believe in unicorns either. I kinda got the runs, so unless you want to listen to “Alice’s Restaurant,” you better get this next Shelf critter request going…

SPONKIE 2: The next request is….

SPONKIE 1: COOL!!!!!!!! It’s Ninja on a Skateboard!!!

SQUIRREL CHILD 1: OMG! That’s you!

CHILD 2: I hope you requested a ninja song!

CHILD 3: Yeah! Like Kung Fu Fighting!

CHILD 4: Stupid! That’s a karate song!

CHILD 3: I’m not stupid!

CHILD 4: Are too!

CHILD 3: Are not!

Ninja on a Skateboard has the same patience with children that I do…..

LITTLEST: I’m telling Mommy!!!!

CHILD 2: Shut up, bro!

CHILD 3: Yeah, she probably ordered the hit…

ES: Thanks, dude, for selecting a song for my countdow….

SLASH!!!!

ES: HEY! That was my prized Tiffany album! How’d you even do that? I didn’t see….

NINJA: You didn’t see me cut it because I’m a fucking NINJA!

ES: Nobody can possibly be that fast….

SLASH!

ES: OWWWWWWWWW!!!!! I’m bleeding!!!!!

SCRATCHY: That’s hardly a scratch. You’ll live.

ES: This could get infected! Where’s the first aid kit!?!?

SCRATCHY: You won’t allow us to have one on set, remember? You want our suffering to look real for the cameras.

NINJA: Live by the sword, die by the sword!

SCRATCHY: I see what you did there!

NINJA: No you didn’t, because I’m a fucking NINJA!!!!!!!!!

ES: Just play the fucking NINJA’s request while I go find a tourniquet….

Long before Canada ruined its musical reputation by giving the world Celine Dion and Justin Bieber, it was pumping out some of the most underrated rockers in the world in the 70’s and 80’s. One of the most prominent was a gentleman by the name of Bryan Adams, who would go on to become world famous, though his everlasting legacy has largely been reduced to one of the most blatant uses of sexual innuendo in the title of an otherwise wholesome song.

See…. totally innocuous!

Well, before the “Summer of ’69,” Adams released an album in 1983 that was a bit hit on the American continent, but not so much elsewhere. That album was titled Cuts Like A Knife, and its title track introduced Bryan Adams to the US market…

“Cuts Like A Knife” was a #15 hit on the US pop charts, and an even bigger hit on rock stations at the time. I remember the independent rock station my family listened to in the early 80’s, KWK, actually ranked this as the #3 song of 1983 on their year end countdown. It’s nothing fancy or extravagant or ground breaking…. it’s just good rock music. And a hell of a lot better than some of the schmaltzy stuff Adams did during the Robin Hood years…

Holy rock ballads, Batman! Everything I do, I do it for you!

Oops, wrong men in tights!

Come back next Monday for the next cut from a critter….

Posted in SCT Request Countdown | Tagged 1983, bryan adams, countdown, cuts like a knife, music, ninja, ninja on a skateboard, request, sct | 10 Comments

Weekend Threesome – 9/19/21

Posted on September 19, 2021 by evilsquirrel13

Here’s three more short bits from The Nest to go with your Sunday morning coffee… handpicked by Evil Squirrel.

My 8 year old camera has been showing its age for a while, but when the latch holding the batteries inside quit latching, I realized it was time to get a new one. Well, not really a new camera….

But not quite this old…

I found a slightly used one on Amazon that was exactly like the other camera… just a slight downgrade, and cheap enough that my credit card reward points paid for it entirely. It arrived last Saturday, and works just fine. The first pic from that camera that I posted here was the leadoff photo of Ody in Friday’s post. But I seriously underestimated the difference between my old camera’s 16X zoom and this one’s 12X. It’s fine for taking pics around The Nest, especially now that I flipped the light setting to auto. But for park trips… I’ll probably just stick to my taped up old camera because the extra zoom comes in so handy there.

It’s still way better than my old, old camera… which is now nothing more than another SCT prop.

So very early Wednesday evening I get up out of my computer desk chair. My desk straddles a corner, so the first thing I’ll see when I get up is the wall above the left part of the desk. What would you think if this suddenly entered your vision?

That’s it! I’m cutting back on the LSD!!!

What… in…. the….ever…..loving…… FUCK!?!?!?

The mysterious light show scared the living shit out of me at first, as I’d imagine it would just about anyone who suddenly found red, yellow and blue streams of light MOVING on their wall! But I very quickly realized what was causing it…

Who says unicorns aren’t magical?

Yes, the tinsel unicorn I bought before Christmas two years ago still sits on top of my computer desk, and the sun was coming through the hole in my blinds just right to reflect off of the red, yellow and blue tinsel that makes up its mane! The fan behind my back that keeps me cool added the movement effect.

I took note of the time and waited for that same window of opportunity the next day. This time, with the light setting on my camera (as mentioned above) correct…

Still pretty!

And so is the unicorn…

I have nothing else…. but since today is Talk Like A Pirate Day, which along with my beloved National Squirrel Appreciation Day (January 21) is one of the poster children for fake social media created “holidays,” I figured I’d share the link to last year’s TLAPD Shelf Critter Theatre episode, which has more awful pirate puns and references than you can shake a pegleg at along with the critters’ unique brand of scurvy humor…

Looks like someone’s about to raise the Jolly Roger…

Posted in Weekend Threesome | Tagged camera, lights, threesome, unicorn, weekend | 11 Comments

Strike A Pose

Posted on September 18, 2021 by evilsquirrel13

Just minding my own business, looking for nuts….

Excuse me. Excuse me, Sir… with the ear notch!

Who!?!? Me!?!?

Yes, you! Mind if I get a photo of you for all of the squirrel lovers on my blog? Nothing fancy…. just pose naturally!

Something like this?

Yes…. (SNAP!)….. perfect!!!!

You look a bit bewildered, but you guys are so cute with that expression!

Thank you for being the model for this week’s Saturday Squirrel! You may carry on with your normal activities now…

Have a great weekend everyone!

Posted in Saturday Squirrel | Tagged adorable, cute, model, park, photo, photography, pose, squirrel, stump, tree | 13 Comments

12 Years Ago

Posted on September 17, 2021 by evilsquirrel13

One of these days I’ll figure out how to bury that camera in the litter box.

It was 12 years ago today on September 17, 2009 that I brought home two seven week old kittens. Having lived on my own in my new house for four months, I was talked into needing some kind of animal companionship. I loved dogs, but they were too much responsibility, so I opted for cats… and as luck (or fate) would have it, I was hit up at the right time by one of my co-workers with four kittens needing homes. Spilly was a given since he was the only one of the kittens who was happy to see me. Ody was plucked at random from the two tuxes in the litter. I have no idea what his twin brother would have been like, but I can’t imagine I could have gotten a better cat than Ody turned out to be…

Although I never imagined that itty furball…

I hope that’s getting spent on me…

Would turn into this puma….

It’s MY desk now… go away!

On other blogs, I’ve seen this occasion called a “Gotcha Day,” so on Ody’s 12th, here’s some of his baby pics for some gratuitous cuteness on this Friday…

Awwwwwwww

RIP Spilly and Dad!

I can haz sno cone?

And I thought Spilly was the goofball of the two.

Don’t look sad, bro!

Prepare for death from above!

Mandatory fun at The Nest…

Beat it, dude! This food is mine!

Tit for tat!

Yummy kitty feets!

Boogers are gone!

Thanks for putting up with me for a dozen years, Ody!

Yeah sure, are we ever going to get this thing cashed? You owe me some bling…

Posted in Squirrel Droppings | Tagged 12 years, anniversary, cat, gotcha, kitten, ody, spilly | 28 Comments

Share Your World – Week 141

Posted on September 15, 2021 by evilsquirrel13

My fellow world sharers…

Yeah, it’s only Wednesday, but I have lots of time and the Randomator was being stupid… so let’s share our world a day early. And that means another critter to feature… and I’m sure you’d all consider politicians to be critters. Uncle Sam serves as the Shelf’s President for Life, as well as a few other odd leadership jobs in various episodes. Sam is certainly as corrupt and weasely as they come, particularly given SCT’s large overlap with a certain Presidential administration…

Out of the road, hippie, before I flatten your unAmerican carcass!

Uncle Sam is an old bingo dauber (his top hat is the cap) I wound up using at some point during my playing days, and was only spared the waste can because of my incredible hoarding abilities. It just wouldn’t be the Shelf, though, without his honest and trustworthy face running things behind Evil Squirrel’s back…

Lies never killed anyone…. well, mostly.

A rare serious and thought-provoking SYW question inspired by Uncle Sam…

In democratic societies, do you believe that the right to vote is merely a privilege or a duty for all citizens?

Before we get interrupted by some nonsense Presidential speech, let’s get the actual Share Your World part if today’s post out of the way. Questions, as always, by Melanie…

Sam says it’s HIS world, and he won’t be sharing it…

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Probably the former, though that really means nothing in the spirit of this question. A lot of what I say and do, which isn’t much, is largely irreverent and sometime irrelevant to the world as others know it. Oddly enough, I’m pretty much the opposite at work where I’m usually serious about getting shit done, and talking plenty of smack about those who aren’t.

It would be nice to say and do nothing.

What does the world need less of?

Countries. There were too many of them to try and remember when I was growing up in the 80’s, and they’ve just multiplied like rabbits since then. Let’s make geography easier for everyone by lumping a bunch of those tiny shithole countries all together into empires…

Yeah, that’s more like it!

Do you feel older or younger than your age?

Older. I hit a bit of a wall 8 years ago when I was 38, and have crashed into that wall over the past year or so. I feel fucking old…. though who knows if it’s as old as I’m supposed to feel. It’s not like I’d ever been in my mid 40’s before to know…