In a continued attempt to come up with a new regular Friday feature to keep the smartass sarcasm flowing on a day when I should be posting every week, I brainstormed a lot of new ideas that seemed really great right up until the moment they left the moldy confines of my grey matter. But hey, there’s no reason to have all of that brainpower go to waste by just washing it down the drain along with the pesticides and blood spatter…
I can’t let PETA know what happens to possums here.
So I compiled some of the truly shittiest replacement ideas I came up with to present to you today in countdown form! Since David Letterman probably has a worldwide
pants patent on the intellectual property of the Top 10 list… to keep his lawyers from dragging my mangy tail to court, I’m proud to present today…..
The Top 13 Rejected Ideas For My Next Friday Series on Evil Squirrel’s Nest!
Alright, who wrote this shit? Larry “Bud” Melman?
Can I get a drum roll please, Hottie?
Number Thirteen….. Friday Squirrels Gone Wild!
Get a nest, you two.
Number Twelve…. 101 Uses For Leftover Chileh
Chileh wrestling…. that should be a thing.
Number Eleven…. Make Me Barf!
Number Ten…. Friday Fucked Up Pony Theatre
Actually…… this might be fun.
Number Nine…. Baseball Fridays!
The internet really needs more photos of stadium scoreboards.
Number Eight…. Earworm Karaoke Night!
Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiii- Sing it with me, folks! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…..
Number Seven…. Friday Rants By Chewy The Capybara
I really hate kids who won’t share their ice cream and men who wear socks with flip flops. Oh, and my balls itch.
Number Six…. Fuck It Fridays!
Not to be confused with Fuck It February (FuYuBloMe). Only six more months to get your laziness on!
Number Five… Posts Loaded Up With Gratuitous Links To Try And Bait You Into Reading Some Of My Old Shit Fridays!
Yeah, you know you’re curious as to where this image of George Washington driving a car came from.
Number Four…. Uncle Evil’s Bedtime Stories For Young Children
Once upon a fucking time….
Number Three…. My Millionaire Journey -The Rerun!
What a fantastic idea! Let me warm up my singing voice…
Number Two…. Reblog Someone Else’s Awesome Post And Take All The Credit Fridays!
Also rejected as a new Friday series…. any kind of political talk.
And the Number One Rejected Idea For My Next Friday Series On Evil Squirrel’s Nest Is………….
Totally Naked Fridays!
Sometimes you just gotta let it all air out… if anything.
Well, that’s a good impression of what I won’t be considering to drag the quality of my blog even further into the septic tank. Will I find regularity by next Friday? There’s only one way to find out….
One thing’s for sure…. the shit will just keep on coming!