It’s Muzak Time!

This is gonna be great guys, don't you think?  Guys?  Hello?

This is gonna be great guys, don’t you think? Guys? Um, Hello?

Greetings everyone from a time not so long ago!  I’m currently writing this post from nine days in your past, so let me start off by saying hello to the future world, and I hope you’re all enjoying your flying cars!  Since it’s also Monday where you are now, that means it’s time to dig up something that’s even in the past’s past straight out of the auditory time capsule we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s not worried about looking nine days older since she’s already got a face that was made for radio.  And the Sponkies…. well, they look so grown up now.  But they already have an adult job, and that task is to bring you this lost musical treasure that you won’t need a Delorean to enjoy…

dusty vinyl

Styx was one of the premier rock acts of the 1970’s and early 80’s, though these renegades don’t seem to get the credit they deserve for rocking out arenas and topping out charts back in the days when most people were donning polyester and hitting multi-colored dance floors.  Despite all of the success the quintet enjoyed since bringing guitarist Tommy Shaw into the fold in 1976, keyboardist Dennis DeYoung wanted the band to venture into more artsy type of rock as the 80’s unfolded.  That led to the love-it-or-hate-it concept album Kilroy Was Here in 1983… an attempt at musical theater which wound up being the final straw that broke the band’s back..

You're fooling yourselves...

You’re fooling yourselves, guys…

You didn’t need a crystal ball to see that the band’s harmony was just a grand illusion by 1984.  But…… they did release one more album before Shaw and DeYoung both departed, effectively breaking up the group for five years.  1984’s Caught in the Act was basically a live album of a concert they did the year before… except for the lead track.  That was the last song Styx’s classic lineup recorded together, and it also happens to be one of my favorites from the band.  Hey everybody, it’s “Music Time!”

While I absolutely adore this quirky music video (It’s one of my all-time MTV favorites), it’s easy to see why everyone in the band not named Dennis DeYoung felt entirely uncomfortable with it.  Tommy Shaw, in fact, pretty much refused to participate in filming any of the corny scenes that are rampant in the video… in particular, he told the band where it could get bent in thinking he was going to stick his head through the salad plate near the end…

The headcheese is served...

The headcheese is served…

And all I can say to that is boooooo to Shaw.  I happen to be one of the few who like and appreciate both Shaw’s and DeYoung’s vision of what Styx should be, and this four minutes of pure, unadulterated fun is the best of times to me…

This is the kind of stuff rockers don't ever let leave the hotel room...

Though there are some things that, quite frankly, should’ve been left on the cutting room floor…

I won’t let it end.  But you’ll have to wait until Monday for another lost earworm, Babe…

Domo arigato for listening, everyone!

Domo arigato for listening, everyone!

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Make It Rain


RAINY SKUNK: (Sobbing) Oh, boo hoo!!!  Woe is me!!!

CHIPMUNK SQUIRREL: What’s the matter, dear?  Did your deodorant quit on you again?

RAINY: Somebody stole my beloved rain gauge!  I always carry it around with me just in case it should ever rain inside of The Nest… which given all of the acorns that have fallen on the roof this year, could happen at any time!

CHIP: Now who in the heck would steal a rain gauge…. oh, who am I kidding?  Most of the shady characters around here would steal the Life Alert pendant off of their own mother.

RAINY: What am I going to do!?!?


CHIP: Maybe we should frisk everyone!  I think I’ll start with those cute little ponies that hang out down the shelf from me…

RAINY: There are so many worthless critters hanging around here… this is just TERRIBLE!

BASHFUL: Excuse me, ma’am, but what seems to be your trouble?


RAINY: Some worthless, lowlife, mangy, flea infested furball took off with my precious rain gauge!  I just HAVE to find it, or else…

BASHFUL: Rain gauge you say?  Was it about (reaches up) oh….. yay tall and had a bunch of numbers on it?

RAINY: Yes!  That sounds like my rain gauge!

BASHFUL: You’re in luck, because I just happen to have found it!  And even better, I managed to capture some rain in it for you!!!

RAINY: You brought me some RAIN!?!?!?  OH, Bashful!  You are such a sweetie!

BASHFUL: Awwww, anything for a pretty little skunkette like you!  Here’s your gauge back..


CHIP: Ummmmmmmmm…. Rainy, I don’t know how to tell you this, but…..


RAINY: This is SO NOT RAIN!!!!  Bashful!!!  What did you put in here!?!?

BASHFUL: Welllllllllll…. normally, I wouldn’t be able to tell you…… but like I just said, urine luck!


Bashful laughs himself into tears over the reaction to his evil deed and even worse pun….

RAINY: You, sir, have made me very angry….

CHIP: Rainy!  Don’t…..

RAINY: You are going to pay dearly for this, Mr. Bashful….

CHIP: I think I better go stand back here…..

Bashful continues to laugh like a hyena in blissful ignorance of the wrath boiling up in the critter he betrayed….. who just happened to be…..


….. a skunk.

CHIP: It may be a bad day for Rainy and Bashful…… but somewhere out there, Mattmax is a happy camper…

Stay tuned for more of Bashful’s adventures to come as he will no doubt continue to raise a stink around The Nest before I send him packing back to Bacon (if ever!)….


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Waiting For The Fall

You'd look this distressed as well if summer didn't want to end.

You’d look this distressed as well if summer didn’t want to end.

Although the calendar said that Autumn officially began on Thursday, from an actual meteorological standpoint, the calendar is a big freaking liar.  I take time off almost every September because while I’m not much for enjoying the great outdoors, I love the break in sqturday squirrel logotemperatures we usually get after Labor Day, and our average high for mid-late September is in the upper 70’s.  So what did we get for official high temps on the nine days I was off this past week and a half?  87, 88, 78, 82, 83, 88, 93, 90, 90… and as I write this post Friday morning, our expected high for yesterday and today is 91 both days.  The squirrels didn’t feel much like participating in their annual nut gathering operation due to the unseasonable weather, nor was I motivated by the summer overrun to fetch the camera and take any shots of them sweating to the heat index.

Hell, as you can no doubt tell from the lack of foliage, the picture above wasn’t even taken this week… or anytime over the summer.  I actually took it in early Spring before the trees bloomed.  But the sentiment of our Saturday Squirrel still rings true no matter the season….

Bad Summer!  Bad!

Try to have a cool weekend everyone…

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Make A Wish


BASHFUL: Oh, look!  A lamp!  And like everything else around The Nest, it’s both outdated and dirty!  Maybe I should just shine it up a bit here and I can take it to the pawn shop to hock for stripper money….

Bashful rubs the lamp and you’ll never guess what happened next…..


GEORGE: Greetings, Master!

BASHFUL: Wow!  Who are you?

GEORGE: I am George the Genie!  I was trapped inside of that lamp for over a million years and you have finally freed me!

BASHFUL: Hmmmm, is the lamp more valuable with a genie inside?  Maybe I should stuff you back in there…

GEORGE: I am forever indebted to you for releasing me from my prison, and have the power to grant any three wishes your heart desires!

BASHFUL: What?  Three wishes?  Me!?!?  Oh boy!!!  Gee, what do I want?  World peace?  An end to poverty?  Justin Bieber to take a long walk off a short pier?  Nah…. hey Genie!  I really wish I had some booze!



A small bottle of booze appears out of thin air…

BASHFUL: Oh wow!  And hey, that bottle looks familiar.  OH, wait!  What have I done!?!?  I just wasted a wish on a bottle of alcohol!  If I’d have wished for a lot of money, I could’ve bought so much booze that someone could’ve wrung it out of me, and still had two wishes left!

GEORGE: I have to admit, Master, that was the lamest wish I have ever granted in all of my eons of genie-ing.  Maybe you should think harder before deciding on your second wi….

BASHFUL: Money!  That’s what I want!  I wish I had one million dollars!!!



A penny emerges from nothing in front of Bashful…

BASHFUL: Ummmmmmmm……. where’s the rest of it?

GEORGE: Do you think I carry that kind of money on me, Master?  Just because I spend most of my life cooped up inside of a lamp doesn’t mean I can’t get robbed!

BASHFUL: But you owe me $999,999.99!!!!

GEORGE: And you’ll get it….. one penny a day, without interest, for the next 99,999,999 days!  That’s only about 274,000 years to collect your million…. heck, I’ve taken naps that long.

BASHFUL: I’m starting to see now why someone imprisoned you inside of a lamp…

GEORGE: So, how about it, Master?  What would you like for your third and final wish?

BASHFUL: I wish I had a gorgeous chick to share this booze and…. ahem, fortune with.  No tricks!  I want a real knockout!


GEORGE: Of course, Master!  I am here to serve you…

George disappears in a puff of smoke, and when the magical mist disappears….


BASHFUL: Hubba hubba….

MITZI: So, what do you think about your servant genie now, Master?

BASHFUL: Wait a min….. is that YOU!?!?

MITZI: LOL!  Like, of course it is, Sugarbritches!  This is my totally awesome other form, Mitzi the Bimbocorn!  And I’m looking to party down with a real hunk of rock!

BASHFUL: Eh, who cares if you used to be a guy.  It’s you and me tonight, Cutie pie!


BASHFUL: So….. any chance I might get a bonus request so I can wish for a harem?

MITZI: Don’t push it, Master, or I just might change back into George when you least expect it…..

Sorry I’ve neglected poor Bashful’s adventures the past few days, but I promise there’ll be more to come before I kick him out send him back to Bacon.  And Aunt Sharon gets a ton of credit for inspiring this idea upon noticing a striking similarity between George and Mitzi last year!

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Evil Squirrel’s Nest Comic #230 — 9/22/16


Last panel a shout out to Merby….

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