Eye In The Sky

I may be in the shadows, but that doesn’t mean I can’t see you, human!

Just remember as you go out and about today that you never know who may be watching you from up above.

At least he’s cuter than a drone…

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Calendar Squirrel – May

Ah yes! The beautiful month of May!

It’s time to make like Bob Seger and turn the page… to the next month in The Nest’s virtual squirrel calendar we are creating!  And all of the monthly representatives for this calendar are being picked by YOU, the readers!  Before we look at the nominees for Mr. or Ms. May, let’s check out the final results in the voting for the April calendar squirrel.  I forgot to include a midweek reminder to vote, but it didn’t matter.  This was a landslide of Reagan/Mondale proportions…

It was soooooo close, but it looks like Violet Squirrel squeaked out with the win as our April model!  It’s going to be a cute thirty days next year…

I’m sure I look quite handsome standing here, but please, I’m allergic to these flowers!

And so it’s on to May, the fifth month!  Spring and squirrels just go together, don’t they?  Here’s a slate of my favorite sciurines who I have photographed in the emerald month in chronological order.  Which one do you think should hang on the wall?

#1. Louis Armstrong (May 29, 2013)

#2. The Love Squirrels (May 9, 2014)

#3. Very Happy To See You (May 9, 2014)

#4. Greyhound Squirrel (May 18, 2015)

#5. Garden Digger (May 18, 2015)

#6. The Power of Cheese (May 26, 2017)

squirrel eating cheese

#7. Smoking Squirrel (May 26, 2017)

And now it’s time for you to do your blogly duty and VOTE for which squirrel you think should be the May winner!  Stand up and be counted!

Voting ends next Wednesday night the 25th!  And now, in honor of Talk Like A Pirate Day….

CORNY JOKE ALERT!!!!

A pirate squirrel walks into a bar wearing a captain’s wheel on his crotch.

“What’s up with that?” the bartender asked, pointing to the odd accessory?

Arrrrr, she’s drivin’ me nuts!

Posted in Calendar Squirrel | Tagged , , , , | 28 Comments

Scent Of A Woman

a box full of junk

It’s time to hop on down the twisted and winding bunny trail and see what we’ll find by taking a wrong turn at Albuquerque.  It’s Random Image Inspiration, The Nest’s Wednesday feature where we’ll draw some numbers, get a completely unexpected image, and try to write something about it so we can get a C-minus and not have to repeat third grade.  I pulled the numbers and the image yesterday since I have nothing better to do this week.  Let’s see those digits fresh from the Randomator…

33, 66, 15, 30

The 33rd post in my Reader was a pictorial, so I skipped to the 34th post, which was this one by Juliette

The 66th word in that post is “mini”

The 15th word in that post is “a”

Putting “mini a” into Google Images brought this up as the 30th result…

A gift set of perfume.  Or parfum, if you like fancy pants talk.  Just looking at that makes me want to sneeze…

Or maybe vomit as well.

Why do we live in a world where almost everyone seems to have a fatal attraction to artificial scents?  Almost every woman from teenage years to just before the nursing home wears perfume, and a lot of guys, particularly those out on the prowl, like to douse themselves in cologne.  Even worse is when the gentleman thinks that if he pours a half a bottle of Stetson on his unwashed body, nobody will notice their terrible B.O.  The stuff just makes me sick.  There’s nothing wrong with unscented, you know…

The Uncola was unscented, and even untasty.

I grew up with four younger sisters, as I’m sure my astute readers are well aware of by now.  Do you have any idea how smogged up the house got with all of the gaudy scents coming from their Caboodles full of scented “smell-goods.”  Add a thick layer of Aqua Net fog to the perfume stew that lingered outside my room, and it was an atmosphere 87 times more toxic than the one on Venus.  I’ve had sinus drainage issues all of my life, let alone having the mucous membranes in my nose dissolved in the acidic stench of fucking Debbie Gibson perfume…

A souvenir of those days. And like an old war grenade, I sure as hell will ever pull the pin.

My luck at avoiding unnatural aromas didn’t get any better once I reached adulthood, as I inherited the laundry soap and “air care” aisles for over 15 years at Mecca.  What does regular Tide, Clean Breeze and Mountain Spring scents all smell like when they waft together in the aisle you have to spend eight hours in?  Instant fucking death, that’s what.  And of course, there are the scented plug ins, the scented sprays, the scented wax cubes, and of course the scented candles of every possible formula from apple cinnamon to lilac cum.  Some people’s houses are ticking time bombs to my sensitive nose because they are so overwhelmed with store-bought stench being piped in from every nook and cranny all in a lame attempt to cover up the fact that their cat shits in its litter box.

Look ma! I covered up that poo scented Renuzit you bought!

Forget air pollution from industry… I’ve been breathing that in for forty years and my respiratory system is doing just (cough! hack!) fine.  It’s the contamination of our atmosphere from artificial scents and perfumes that we really need to EPA to address!  You might rather smell a cheap imitation of pumpkin spice than the all natural odor of your teenage son’s bedroom, but I have a right to breathe clean air free from shitty smelling man-made chemicals as well!  Some of us normal people really can’t hack that fragranced garbage…

Ahhhh, now that’s better! Au naturale for the win!

Edited to add:  This classic comic strip of mine that perfectly fits the spirit of this post!

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Share Your World – Week 37

Ody (right) and the late, great Spilly. Denizens of The Nest (in the flesh and in spirit respectively) since September 17, 2009.

I have nothing better to do with myself in the middle of my week off from Mecca, so why not take some time to share my world with you?  It is Tuesday after all….. wait, is it Tuesday?  The days just run together when I don’t have to work.  I’ll assume it is and get to work on the SYW questions Melanie provided us for this week, all courtesy of other bloggers.  It’s like a secondhand interrogation.  Let’s roll with the new and allegedly improved logo…

Ah, beautiful, picturesque Siberia.

Are we losing the art of listening in comparison to simply hearing?

Yeah, yeah, you’re probably right.  About whatever it was you just asked.  Do you mind if I go back to my game I was playing now?

All I hear is a giant sucking sound…

How often do you openly discuss with friends or here in WP with your readership topics that make you feel uncomfortable or may be taboo or stigma laden?

Yeah, no.  I don’t engage in any kind of serious discussion of any such taboo topics because the majority of people of all kinds, creeds and beliefs are pretty closed-minded when it comes to the more sensitive subjects I often have differing view about.  If you’ve read a few of my episodes of Shelf Critter Theatre, you’ll see that absolutely no subject is considered off limits when it comes to wielding my lighthearted, but disturbed sense of humor… because I absolutely do love to joke about the things that make others uncomfortable.  Which just makes them even more uncomfortable, which always makes me wonder sometimes why I still have people following me since we’re collectively such a “panties in a wad” society…

I’ll let my critters handle the delicate issues, like children enjoying a strip club.

Do you think that these discussions should be freely discussed and written about more?

Why?  Nobody is swayed by discussions.  There comes a certain point in our lives, almost certainly by our 30’s, where we pretty much are who we are and we’re not changing barring some seismic event in our lives.  A lot of breath and bandwidth is wasted trying to change minds that are not going to be changed, and that goes for everyone, not just the people YOU think are ignorant and closed minded.  Progress starts with the more impressionable younger generation…

The future of the world. And they need their asses kicked…

Did you have a nickname as a child and if so, what was [or what is it now]?

That question was asked a few months ago, and I’m still not talking about it…

Wait, how did this image get here?

Why is there still ‘stuff’ we simply just don’t understand despite our progressive world?

I don’t understand the question.  And I don’t know why I don’t understand the question, so I guess I don’t know the answer to the question.

Looks like I get the parting gifts today…

Would you rather double your height or lose half your weight?

12 feet tall or 125 pounds?  A buck and a quarter is probably too skinny for someone six foot tall, while at 12 feet tall I would no longer be able to fit in my house or my car.  I guess if I were 12 feet tall, though, I’d have a pretty easy career in the NBA and could buy myself a mansion with very high ceilings.

I don’t think I’d want all the little people looking up my toga, though…

What is your most essential kitchen tool?

Who needs a kitchen timer when you have the smoke detector?

Who is one blogger you really admire and why?

I don’t play favorites.  The bloggers I read are all admirable in their own way.  Those who can consistently stay at it month after month, year after year, are truly worth recognition…

Or maybe just need to get a life. Is bondage and submission a taboo topic?

Shelf Critter Theatre fans!  Yes, all two of you!  I’ve finally created a dedicated “Meet the Shelf Critters” page that contains a brief synopsis of all of the characters big and small.  You can check it out here, or in my menu under the header!

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The Two Decade Rule

Fuck yeah! Time to break out that Y2K stash and heat up some canned veggies!

Need a little good vibrations to help you make it through another Monday September morning?  All you need is love, and maybe a nice lost earworm.  It’s time for The Nest to dig up another band of gold out of that sugar shack of sweet soul music we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  Better put on your compression shorts, because DJ Scratchy’s going to have you sweating to the oldies, while the Sponkies get introduced to some more ancient artifacts.  Everything old is new again…

Like something that’s currently in fashion, but you know its expiration date of relevance is coming due?  Don’t worry.  Just wait twenty years, and your favorite fad will be more modder than the bee’s knees again.  It’s the twenty year rule, where certain elements that were fashionable two decades ago will get a sudden and surprising revival in popularity due to the fact that the people who helped set those trends are now staring down a midlife crisis.  It’s why Happy Days and American Graffiti were so popular in the 70’s, My Little Pony came back bigger and better than ever in the 2000’s, and even the wildly reviled disco experience was a thing again while everyone was watching That 70’s Show.

Nice try, guys. But you can’t kill disco!

And so, my decade of the 80’s which had a radical pop culture of its own, was also tinged with remnants of the swinging 60’s.  Tie dye came back in fashion and some of the biggest bands of the 1960’s made a comeback after decades of irrelevance.  One such band who was a living time capsule of the post-JFK generation was The Monkees

See! We really can play our own instruments!

The Monkees were a made-for-TV quartet that was put together in 1966 solely to make money for television executives and to humorously lampoon the everyday life of 1960’s pop stars.  Little did those producers who cobbled this group together for laffs realize that they actually assembled a pretty talented band of musicians who went from having all of their songwriting and musical work done for them to gaining full control over their work by the time their short-lived sitcom came to a close in 1968.  That sitcom, The Monkees, was brought back by MTV in the mid 80’s and was aired in reruns on their sister station Nickelodeon where my 12 year old self utterly fell in love with their humor and music.

Yes, we’d like to speak with the wardrobe consultant please. I think there’s been a terrible mistake.

With their newfound popularity, it was only natural for The Monkees, or at least those who were still together in the band, to release a comeback hit.  And in the middle of a bunch of 1980’s new wave, soundtrack music and hair band fluff… it managed to get up to #20!  Here’s half of The Monkees doing their 1986 welcome back song “That Was Then This Is Now”…

Going along with the title of the song, the video features a lot of flashbacks to the 60’s intertwined with modern shots of Micky Dolenz and Peter Tork, the two members who launched the comeback (Davy Jones would rejoin them by the time their star dimmed again).  It’s funny how as a 12 year old kid watching this video and of course The Monkees show, the 60’s seemed like they had to be an eternity ago.  Look how much had changed!  It really kills me to realize now that the late 90’s were that “eternity ago” and it sure as hell seems like yesterday!

Wow, we actually had the internet back in the late 90’s! Now we just need that dial up sound…

I’ll be back next Monday with another classic song that should still look good 20 years later…

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