Blood! Blood! Blood!

Happy Fourth from The Nest’s little firecracker.

It’s Monday, the day we at The Nest declare our independence from the tyranny of commercial music playlists and let freedom ring for the songs that history has forgotten!  So let’s put on our best breeches and get ready to dig up another great hit that got thrown into Boston Harbor from that revolutionary war chest of rebellious music we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy is ready to put her John Hancock of approval on another song from the 1770’s…. er, 1970’s, while the Sponkies take their trikes and recreate Paul Revere’s ride.  Don’t drop the needle until you see the whites of this earworm’s eyes…

You’ve almost certainly heard of the rock group by the name of Supertramp before, as they had a string of worldwide hits in the late 70’s and early 80’s that briefly put them on the A-list of non-disco acts.  But in the early 70’s, they were still very much trying to establish themselves and find their sound.  Not an easy task given the very diverse musical backgrounds of Supertramp’s two most prominent members Rick Davies and Roger Hodgsen… the former a working class devotee to gritty blues and jazz, while the latter was classically trained and fond of commercial pop.

The Odd Couple of music.

While they managed to work well writing songs together, Supertramp’s first two albums were utter failures.  Their third album, 1974’s Crime of the Century, finally got them the breakthrough single that put them on the map in the UK.  That song was “Dreamer,” not a particularly good song in my mind, and apparently my fellow countrymen agreed with me as the song flopped in the US…

Still, the “Dreamer” single wound up being their breakthrough hit in America as well… as in, we much preferred that 45’s B-side.  This was the song that wound up being Supertramp’s first US Top 40 hit…

“Bloody Well Right” made it up to #35 on the charts, while the A-side “Dreamer” didn’t chart at all (At least until a live version was released in 1980).  While this song certainly has heavy prog rock undertones, which as loyal DVA readers may know, is a genre I very much despise… I nevertheless very much like this song!  Alas, their bigger hits like “Give A Little Bit,” “Take the Long Way Home,” “Goodbye Stranger,” and especially the #1 “The Logical Song” made people forget this groovy little tune that introduced us to the band with the really weird name.

And yes, on the biggest national holiday in America, I featured a British band performing a song that has a title that we consider almost stereotypical Britishspeak.  Well, thank their 1979 hit “Breakfast in America” for getting me on that track….. you know, the song Gym Class Heroes later totally ruined.

Don’t you look at my girlfriend!

You’re bloody well right, I’ll have another lost hit next Monday!

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Green Skies

Welcome to the jungle.

There’s something artistic I like about this photo I took last Spring of a squirrel on a limb looking up at a leaf-filled sky.  I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I submit it for your approval.  The summer doldrums give another Saturday Squirrel from the past its day to finally shine…

Have a great weekend everyone!

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Boomsday

UNCLE SAM: My fellow Amurricans, it’s that time of year where we celebrate our freedom and independence the only way that’s appropriate on the greatest shelf in the world….. by blowing shit up!!!!  Troll!  Let’s get this show started!

RAINY: I do NOT approve of my precious rain gauge being used to launch bottle rockets!

TROLL: Quiet down!  Do you wanna get deported?  Alright (lights the first firecracker of the night) here we go!

WHOOSH!!!!!

SAM: What’s the meaning of invading our airspace?

BRIGHTBIRD: You just shot me down while I was flying north for the summer, you jackass!  Look what you did to my head!

SAM: That looks like a brain tumor to me.  You weren’t going to make it much longer anyway, so consider this free compassionate euthanasia.  (Clap clap!) Cleanup!

BRIGHTBIRD: You can’t do this to me!  I want to speak with my attorney!  Or Ralph Nader!  Or at least my agent….

Brightbird continues squawking until he’s deposited into the city dump.

TROLL: I’m sorry sir, maybe if I tilt the bottle…. I mean, rain gauge a little more….

SAM: Stop your yammering and light that next firework, peasant!  You wanna disappoint the children?

RAINY: They’re already disappointed you raised the Social Security retirement age to 96!

WHOOSH!!!!

SAM: Beautiful shot!

TROLL: Oh shit!  There goes that pony I was hoping I’d get for Christmas!

SAM: Isn’t this a little out of season, Claus?

SANTA: Dammit!  I was just taking the sleigh down to Costa Rica for a two week vacay on the beach!  You’re lucky I wasn’t wearing my jingle bell elfkini!

RAINY: Thanks.  Now I’ll NEVER un-see that…

SAM: Good to know I’m not the only one who uses taxpayer funded transportation for personal use.  As for Christmas in July…… (clap clap!)

SANTA: You’re lucky you were already on the naughty list, Sam!

SCRAT THE RED NOSED SQUIRRELDEER: Squeeeeealllll???

SAM: Alright, enough gawking at the carnage!  Fire that next shell!

(Silence)

SAM: I said FIRE THAT NEXT SHELL!!!!!!!!!!

TROLL: Um, sir….. my lighter….

FUZZYWIG: (Inhales) Ah, now this is how I celebrate my freedom to get high!

TROLL: Mister, please, I need….

FUZZYWIG: Dude, I get two puffs before I have to pass.  You’ll get your turn…

SAM: This is an outrage!  Dope smoking at my beloved fireworks show!

FUZZYWIG: Fireworks show?  Is that what all those pretty colors were?  I thought I was already completely lit, but maybe I need a few more hits….

SAM: I’m not going to allow some pothead to sabotage this patriotic celebration!  Troll, give me that next firecracker!

FUZZYWIG: No, wait!  You can’t use my bong to shoot off fireworks!

SAM: We’ll see about that!

WHOOSH!!!

The sparks make a pretty green cannabis leaf….

TROLL: Another hit!

SAM: Another victory for our fine shelf!

LUNA: Dammit, I’m a Princess, and I’m going to see to it you hooligans all end up beheaded for this travesty!

SAM: Please!  We won our independence from the monarchy a long time ago!

RAINY: Is that why you’re the autonomous king now?

SAM: That’s neither here nor there… (Clap! Clap!)

SNUGGLE: It’s a good thing I get paid by the job and not the hour!

FUZZYWIG: Hey!  My bong!  My good stuff!!!

SAM: Now this place will smell more like a fireworks show than a Grateful Dead concert!  Now carry on with the explosions!

SAGE: Excuse me, sir….

SAM: This is a celebration of our freedom, not an Ozzy Osbourne show, lady!  Where’s your star spangled halter top?

SAGE: Sir, I’m here on behalf of pet owners everywhere whose poor furbabies are being traumatized by the loud noise all these fireworks make every July….

SAM: You think I care about some flea bitten pooches when I’m exercising my Dog-given right to create a war zone?

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! THE END IS NIGH! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

SAGE: See, sir.  Couldn’t you show a little compassion towards those who don’t understand what’s….

SAM: Compassion?  I’ll show you and your mutt some compassion, you communist!

SAM: Troll!  Light up another one!!!!

SAGE: (Dives on top of Fleabag) Oh no!  Don’t worry, puppy, I’ll cover up your ears!

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! I HAZ A HAPPY! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

WHOOSH!!!

FUZZYWIG: Falling pink cows…. yep, that has to be the LSD I tried in the cub scouts.

SAGE: Help!  I’m being crushed by a moo cow!  And I’m a vegetarian!

RAINY: Sigh, allow me…. (Clap, clap!)

SNUGGLE: Finally!  An actual cow caught up in my cowcatcher!

SQUIRREL CHILD 1: Oooooh!

CHILD 2: Aaaaah!

CHILD 3: Wow!!!!

CHILD 4: Thanks for taking us to see the fireworks, Mommy!

LITTLEST: Even if we were grounded for life.

SQUIRREL MOM: Anything for my precious boys.  Why don’t you kids move up a little closer?

CHILD 1: You mean go across this line?

CHILD 2: The one that says “Danger! Do not cross?”

SQUIRREL MOM: Sure.  Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.

CHILD 3: Awesome!  The view is so much neater from this close!

CHILD 4: We’re breaking the rules and not getting in trouble!

LITTLEST: I’m telling Mommy!

Plop!

CHILD 1: Neat!!!  Is that a….

SQUIRREL DAD: Dear, wasn’t that our children who just got blown to pieces?

SQUIRREL MOM: Yes, wasn’t it lovely?  (Clap! Clap!)

SQUIRREL DAD: Oh dear.  I guess we’ll have to make some more?

SQUIRREL MOM: Keep that Roman candle in your pants, dear, unless you want it put in the blender again…

SAM: Alright, keep those big booms a’coming!

WHOOSH!!!

TROLL: Dafuq?

SAM: Now we’re getting the big game!

BROTHER BEAR: Pardon me for intruding, but I was just laying on this cloud, unable to move due to my manufacturing defect, when….

TROLL: Nobody cares about your sob stories! (Clap, clap!)

Snuggle’s bulldozer spins its wheels in the studio floor…. I mean, dirt.

SNUGGLE: I’ve got the pedal on the floor!  This fatass is too heavy!

SAM: I guess we’ll have to call for a tow….

HUNG LO: Someone need push?

SNUGGLE: Hey, there we go!  Way to fight blubber with blubber!

SAM: Excellent job, citizen!  Way to preserve our all American fireworks show!

HUNG LO: Actually, fireworks invented in China.

SAM: Bullshit, son!  Fireworks were invented in the good ol’ U. S. of A. by Ben Franklin and Sam Adams!

SNUGGLE: Did someone say Sam Adams!?!?  I’m thirsty!

HUNG LO: Hung Lo not argue with fool.

SAM: Now that you see things my way, let me show you some good ol’ Amurrican firepower!  Troll!  Load up the heavy artillery!

RAINY: If this blows up my rain gauge, I’ll spray the entire continent!!!

WHOOSH!!!!!

RAINY: A dragon was flying overhead?

PASS: I was just using the jet stream to fly to China for my nephew’s hatching….

Sam gets ready to clap….

HUNG LO: No, Hung Lo take this one to China….. Chinese buffet!

PASS: (being dragged away) Oh goody, all that flying made me work up quite an appetite….

HUNG LO: Hung Lo’s customers hungry, too.  $9.99 Dragon ball special is back!

SAM: It’s getting late!  Let’s get another payload off before the damn sun comes up!

Drop!

FUZZYWIG: Well, this ain’t good…..

TROLL: Where did that come from?

RAINY: No!  I can’t die before I see rain……….

SAM: Come on, it was just a little bottle rocket!  Shake it off and get back to work….. dammit!  Who’s ruining my fireworks shows by shooting off fireworks!?!?

DOUG: Pardon me, did you happen to see a stray firework pass by here?

SAM: Who do you think you are shooting off dangerous firecrackers!?!?  Don’t you know that’s illegal in all 50 states?

DOUG: No, but I’m from Canada.  We were celebrating Canada Day today!

SAM: Aren’t you Bub?

DOUG: Nah, Bub’s my twin brother.  We were born on different sides of the border, eh?  Anyway, he blew his weewee off playing with fireworks as a child.

SAM: Well, look what you did to my assistants with your foreign show of heresy!!!  What do you have to say for yourself, Canuck?

DOUG: Oh.  Sorry!

Doug takes his Tim Horton’s and bag of milk back across the border…

SAM: Alright, enough of this nonsense!  It’s time for the GRAND FINALE!!!!

SAM: Now let’s get this puppy lit up, Troll….. oh, right.

Clap! Clap!

SAM: (Saluting) Way to die as heroes for your shelf, men!  I’d have a monument erected in your honor, but all these fireworks bankrupted the treasury.  Now I just need to find a brave volunteer to light up the finale…..

BUSTER: So I just light this wick, and…..

SAM: Yes, and all ten thousand fireworks will go off at the same time!  It’ll be a BLAST!

BUSTER: Sounds cool!  OK, here it goes….

SAM: I’m just going to retreat to my bunker now and watch this glorious display of independence from the window….

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSS…………………….

CHIP: Last night’s Independence Day fireworks display on the Shelf turned tragic as exploding fireworks killed 69 critters and maimed or injured several million more.  Shelf President Uncle Sam downplayed the incident at a press conference from his secret bunker proclaiming the casualties to be acceptable losses, while praising the event’s safety by citing that the death toll had dropped 420% from the previous year’s show.

MARY: As always, our newscast is sponsored by Hung Lo’s Chinese Buffet, home of the Almost All You Can Eat Dragon Ball special for $9.99.  Get it while it’s fresh!  Open on the Fourth of July!

CHIP: Thank you for that completely irrelevant announcement, Mary.  Remember kids, don’t play with fireworks, or you may end up on the news….

BUSTER: Ooooooooooooooooooooooohh……. I think my spleen is on fire!

MARY: Quite literally on the news!

CHIP: (Clap! Clap!)

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Share Your World – Week 182

Well, this is going to make the news…

As our planet whizzes through the vastness of the universe, it comes into contact with all kinds of outer space junk that’s floating through our solar system 24/7/365.  Fortunately for us, Earth’s atmosphere takes care of almost all of these asteroids and wannabe meteorites…. but occasionally, the bigger rocks make it through.  The most significant meteor impact in human history occurred over Siberia on June 30, 1908.  Named after the Podkamennaya Tunguska River near the impact zone, what exactly caused the Tunguska event is not conclusively known, but something several hundred feet in diameter exploded over the region causing a massive shockwave that leveled entire forests and shattered what windows there are in the middle of the Russian wastelands.

At least it didn’t ruin the spitting Stalin statue…. since it didn’t exist yet.

Needless to say, had this occurred over a more populated area rather than in the middle of nowhere, the damage would have been comparable to the forthcoming atomic bomb.  Maybe it’s a good thing this happened BEFORE the Cold War….

And now it’s time to get out our umbrellas and brace for the impact of my answers for this week’s Share Your World questions!  Provided, as always, by Melanie…

Lesser known potential apocalypse: Earth getting impaled by an interstellar rainbow.

What’s your favorite way to spend a day off?

Answering Share Your World questions, of course!

Hey, I earned it!

I’ve never really done much of anything on my days off (which is now back to two days a week rather than three).  The highlight anymore would probably be those several times a year when I head down to the park to provide your weekend entertainment in squirrel pics…

Do I look better than the Kiss Ass Award?

Are you into after-work happy hours?

At seven in the morning?  I rarely socialized with my co-workers back in the good old days when we were a pretty tight group, and certainly don’t now that few of those people are left.  Some go out to breakfast after work, and there was one guy who liked his “liquid breakfast” after work…

We’re a steel town with night shifts, the bars are always open here…

What physical traits do you share with your relatives?

Beats me.  Apparently I’m a pretty dead ringer for my Dad, though.  When I began working at Mecca way back in the prehistoric year of 1998, one of the door greeters asked me out of the blue if I was (My Dad’s name)’s son.  It was someone who grew up with my Dad, and she knew who I was just from the resemblance.  After my Dad died five years ago, other people outside the family were looking at younger pictures of him we’d gathered together and agreed we looked a lot alike.  I never saw it, but I can be hopelessly face blind sometimes…

I was never as cool as my Pop, though…

How long does it take you to decide if you like someone or not?

I don’t know, but I do know my first impressions tend to suck.  There’s a lot of people I took an immediate liking to who I wound up loathing later on…. while at least two of the few people I’m reasonably chummy with spent years on my shit list when I first knew them.

Mitzi usually only needs a few nanoseconds to decide she likes someone.

Feel free to share some wisdom you live by.

There’s that word wisdom again!  Let’s see what brain nuggets I have today….

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Plan F

Looks like even my music teacher hates my earworms…

Are you ready to turn Monday into Funday?  Well, The Nest has just the music to make you want to get up and play!  This is the day we dig through the chopped up tires to find another lost hit that got burned going down life’s hot metal slide from that musical carousel of olde tyme fun we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s your playground monitor today, so don’t think about trying to ride the swings over the bars.  While the Sponkies have fun on the teeter totter.  Yes, the teeter totter…. this post is totally old school!

In a recent edition of Share Your World, I mentioned that the headliner at the only real concert I ever attended was that lost legend of folk rock, one Mr. Dan Fogelberg.  It turns out Fogelberg was born in Peoria, Illinois, only about 150 miles north of where I live, which may be why I recall him opening the concert by saying it was “good to be back in St. Louis.”

Dan Fogelberg can play in Peoria…

While reminiscing on that concert that at 8 years of age I can barely recall, I was also kind of amazed I’d never featured one of Dan’s many great songs on the DVA yet.  The guy is almost criminally overlooked and forgotten about when it comes to oldies radio today, pretty much making his entire catalogue ripe for Dusty Vinyl picking.  I’m finally going to see that Fogelberg gets his due on The Nest, though picking a song to represent him is going to be hard.  The guy was a soft rock god…

The God of Soft Rock approves as long as I don’t play any Kenny G.

I decided to showcase Fogelberg’s very first Top 40 hit, and barely getting that distinction by peaking at #31 in 1975… but it’s easily one of his most up-tempo and fun songs!

“Part of the Plan” came from Dan Fogelberg’s breakthrough album Souvenirs, which was produced by Joe Walsh, who also played the guitar solo during “Plan’s” instrumental break!  That makes two DVA songs Walsh contributed his mad guitar skills to in the last month!  You may also pick out Graham Nash’s vocals on the harmony during the chorus.  Dan had a lot of star power helping him get his career off the ground!

I wonder if David Crosby contributed some of his “stash” to the recording sessions?

Come back for another lost hit from the leader of the band next Monday!

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