Elf Games


How’s it hangin’, everybody!  I’m one of those elves that’s been sent on assignment from the North Pole to sit on a shelf and act creepy!  Actually, I first wound up in the home of a piggy named Bacon, but he and his parents decided to send me to The Nest to keep an eye on all of the suspicious looking critters hanging around here!  I’ve only been here for a couple weeks, but so far I haven’t seen anywhere near the evilness they say lurks on this shelf.  This seems like a really nice bunch of characters, and I’m sure I’ll be reporting them all onto The Big Guy’s nice list in a few weeks….

elf and sponkies

“Oh look!!!!  It’s Santa Claus!!!!”

No… wait, you pretty….. um…. whatever kind of creatures you two are!  I’m not Santa, I’m just an….

“Let’s sit on his lap and tell him what we want for Christmas!!!!”

“That’s a brilliant idea, Sis!  Fair dinkum!”

No No!!!! Please, I’m….

elf lap


Oh dear…. I can’t feel my skinny legs!  Well, OK, I guess I can humor you children for a little while… ugh!  What do you want for Christmas?

“We both want names!!!”

Names?  You mean neither of you have a name?  Didn’t your mother….

“Our Ma’s a hot mess, and Pa can’t make up his mind on anything!”

“What’s your name, mister?”

It’s…. well, come to think of it, I don’t have a name either!  I’m going to have to talk to the Big Guy about that….

“You look like a Seymour to me!”

“Yes!  We’ll call him Seymour!”

Well, I don’t know that I really care for that na….. ow!  Watch where you’re putting that hoof, you little gluestick!

“Well, we’ve gotta run, Seymour Pooh!  Thanks for the lap!”

Man, I thought those kids would never leave!  Seymour Pooh?  Why in the devil did they call me that….

elf turds

You damn kids!!!!  I’m reporting this directly to the North Pole!  Get off of my shelf, ya hear!?!?


Poor Seymour.  Looks like he’s in for some rough times acclimating to the rough and tumble culture of the shelf.  But in honor of Bacon sending me this wonderful addition to my collection, I am pleased to announce a little something for my readers!  A chance to have a small, but hand-drawn and colored piece of my artwork!

Pucker up ES!

An old, old example of my mad skills with the markers.

I’ve drawn 20 sketches of my characters on 3X5 index cards.  Each card contains a different character, with all of my major and a handful of my minor characters you see appear in my comics being included.  I’ve only finished coloring three of them so far, but they’ve turned out better than I expected they would.  They’re no Rembrant or Picasso, or even Pollack… but I think those of you who enjoy reading my blog and taking in the artwork I include here will enjoy these works in all of their non-digital glory…

No mouse was used in the making of these 3X5 masterpieces.

No mouse was used in the making of these 3X5 masterpieces.

There is no silly contest involved to obtain one of these drawings (enclosed in a cheap, generic, non-denominational Mecca holiday greeting card), or any significant hoops to jump through.  All you need to do is be willing to follow these three simple rules!

1. Be one of the first twenty (20) bloggers to comment on this post stating your intention to be the recipient of one of these cards.

2. If you are one of the first 20 to reply, send your mailing address to my email (littlebeast_13 [at] yahoo.com).  Don’t worry… your info will be used only for the purposes of sending you the card.  Many people who I’ve been on the receiving or giving end with on my message board and on WordPress will vouch for the fact that you can always trust an evil squirrel.

3. When your card arrives, at your earliest convenience, take a picture of the character card and post it on your blog along with a link to the future post I will make once I mail off all of the goodies.  Feel free to say whatever you want about the card, even if you think it’s not worthy of hanging on Mommy’s icebox.

abstract squirrels art

Put this through the shredder, dear.

Rule #3 has special significance other than some shameless attempt to link to my blog (I’ll link back to all of your picture posts once all of the cards have reached their destinations).  It will also be fun for me to see where my characters are going because not only will you have no idea which of my 20 critters is going to show up in your mailbox, but I won’t know either!  I plan on “shuffling the deck” and slipping the artwork into the included holiday cards unseen.  Someone’s going to get a Rainbow Donkey….. and then again, someone’s going to get a possum.

You say that like it's a bad thing!

You say that like it’s a bad thing!

So if you’d like to be one of the twenty lucky readers to receive a genuine piece of paw drawn art…. well, what are you waiting for?  Say so!!!

buster possum mail

Special delivery!

Update – Saturday evening 12/6/14:

All 20 spots have been filled!!!!  Thank you everyone!

  1. Merby
  2. Easy
  3. Juliette
  4. Marilyn
  5. Sheena
  6. Jennifer O.
  7. Draliman
  8. Mama
  9. Bacon
  10. Jenn of the green boots
  11. Aunt Sharon
  12. Rose
  13. Goldfish
  14. Fanny
  15. TC Connor
  16. Jackie P
  17. tishmoon
  18. Running Heartless
  19. YoungAtFifty
  20. nerdinthebrain



About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Squirrel Droppings and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

80 Responses to Elf Games

  1. merbear74 says:

    I want one!

  2. Seymor Pooh?…hmmm… at least better than Winnie, huh? Now I know why I never liked to sit on Santas lap LOL

  3. Me too! I will proudly hang mine on my ice box next to the bat picture and all of the baby and skating photos and wine lists. Woo Hoo!

    I remember when my mom brought home an elf for our shelf. We thought it was soooooo cute. Bahahahaha.

  4. Ooh ooh ooh can I have one puleeze? I’m SUCH a fan.

  5. Whether donkicorn or vermin, I would be so excited to receive an ES original!

  6. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Me! I want one! Just don’t tell that rotten pony that I traded her for an index card.

    A very beautiful, special, detailed, artistic index card, but she won’t hear all those adjectives. Too much loud music, ya know…

    • Even worse,,, loud Mecca muzak. Pretty soon, she will only be able to hear earworms…

      And that makes six! I do hope enough people take me up on this offer, or I may have to end up keeping a few for myself…

      • NotAPunkRocker says:

        I can threaten people with the rest of the My Little Ponies if they don’t sign up for this awesome offer!

        No, really, let me know if you want me to share the news 🙂

      • I’m going to post a reminder with tomorrow comic (I wonder how many people read the elf story and skimmed the last part!)… but if I’ve still got a bunch of open spots by tomorrow morning, I wouldn’t mind a little cross promotion at all. I do want to make sure all of my regulars have a shot at claiming one first… but I also want to have these ready to go and off in the mail by Friday afternoon!

      • NotAPunkRocker says:

        Got it. Let me know either way! 🙂

      • I think I have 10 now… and the only regular I know would want to participate who hasn’t stopped by yet is Gentlestitches, and I’m saving one of the spots for her. So if you want to help me round up nine more vict… er participants, feel free, and thanks! 🙂

        Update: I’m up to 14 now! Woohoo! Just 6 more to go…

  7. Scott says:

    This really doesn’t have anything to do with your post, but I thought of you yesterday when the power at work was taken out by a squirrel. Sadly, he didn’t live to tell the tale…

    • Yeah, after all of the dead bodies, you’d think squirrels would have gotten over trying to get their kicks that way by now….

      I’ve had three squirrels fried by the transformer in my backyard in the last five years. But just me and my neighbor across the ditch are inconvenienced when that happens, though…

  8. draliman says:

    Me! Me me me! I should like one if there are any going spare, please 🙂

    Tell Seymour to hang on in there. It’s only going to get more crazy.

  9. PigLove says:

    Oh double squeals that you can hear all the way there in your nest of the woods. I want one pppllleeaassaa. No, I *NEED* one please. And I just love Seymour. XOXO – Bacon

  10. I’m too slow as always (damn pressing commitments…). This would have been a cool gift for Big Guy since I told him about your Nest and he follows you too. 😉

  11. fanrosa says:

    I don’t want you to think that it wasn’t read, but sending me one would be a waste for you because nobody reads my blog (maybe since I never post, I swear my NYR is to get back on the stick with that thing….) so you wouldn’t get any exposure from it. Which would be sad, especially if I got one of the aces in the deck.

  12. Rose says:

    I’m totally in! My address coming to your email inbox soon! 🙂

  13. goldfish says:

    Am I too late? Did I win? WANT STUFF!!!1

  14. gentlestitches says:

    puff, pant… made it! I always read every word. No skimming for me. Actually I don’t think my brain was equipped with one. Anyway Shane and I had a big laugh over breakfast just now looking at your post. Thanks for reserving me a space. Count me as in! 😀

  15. Pingback: You Need A Squirrel | Not A Punk Rocker

  16. TC Conner says:

    I suppose I’m too late for ES to pay me a visit?? 😦

  17. TC Conner says:

    Watch for an email from .

  18. JackieP says:

    Sheena sent me over from notapunkrocker, you still got room for one more? If not, that’s ok, I’m usually late for things like this. I collect one of a kind art too! 🙂

  19. tishmoon says:

    OMF… rainbow burro’s… that is the coolest thing EVER… with possible exception of your free drawing give-away. =)

  20. Saucy says:

    Saucy needs one…

  21. I commented yesterday, but apparently the intertubes ate my post. If it’s not too late I’d like to get in on the action

  22. youngatfifty says:

    Ah ! I have been missing all this fun. I have a mug, a keychain and want a card too 🙂 Might sound a bit greedy but to be honest, I dont receive many cards and would love to have one ! You know where to send it too 😀

  23. Oh, oh, oh! Me, me, me! Is there still room on the list? 😀 (I know there appears to be room on the list, but perhaps you’ve been smooshed over with requests since last updating…these things happen.) 🙂

  24. markbialczak says:

    I want one please and thank you, ESN, and I will give it a place of honor on my blog. For sure! Thanks for this contest, dude. Do you one of Reegis doing you-know-what?

  25. Deb says:

    Evil squirrel sire I do plead with you and ask for your largesse, please sire forward me one of your precious gift which I should gladly display on my own lowly blog

    • Now I feel bad, because my final plea got a splurge of new entries and I have to turn people away before I could post an update that all of the spots have been filled. I’m sorry Deb, but thanks for your interest!

  26. Lynda says:

    Dang me, I missed it! 😦

  27. Pingback: And Now, Something You’ll Really Like… | Lacquer Quest

  28. Pingback: The Evil Squirrel Games | jennsmidlifecrisis

  29. Somewhat gutted that I missed this, but never mind. Life gets in the way and then there are 200 notifications of blog posts in the inbox…

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