Asses For The Masses

Magic ass.

Magic ass.

It’s Wednesday, which means it’s time for another photo prompt story hosted by Marilyn over at Serendipity.  She didn’t leave a frisbee for me to catch this morning, but despite what some might think, I don’t need adult supervision to play out in the yard anymore… so I’ll just start the game myself!

This week’s photo is the first one I’m using in this series that I did not take myself… my Mom took it.  A couple weeks ago, her and my youngest sister spent a day at the zoo.  Before Mom left, I asked her to make sure she got some pictures of animals having sex for me.  Yes, that’s a rather disturbing request… and I can assure you I am not secretly composing a book of bestiality.  It was actually a reference to this photo my Mom took on a previous trip which I’ve used before on this blog and which still cracks me up…

Now you know why hyenas always seem so damn happy.

Now you know why hyenas always seem so damn happy.

This picture of a couple hyenas making a little Wiki is typical of what just about any trip to the zoo will eventually showcase, especially if you have young children in tow.  Unlike that episode of The Twilight Zone “People Are Alike All Over,” animals don’t really have any concept of the fact that their lives have essentially become a neverending version of “The Truman Show.”  They’ll unabashedly go at it right in front of  a whole class of third graders who are about to have the best field trip ever.

But I only included that photo in an attempt to justify my animal sex request… this is the PG rated picture that I actually wanted to show off today:

Not all donkeys are born with rainbow manes.

Not all donkeys are born with rainbow manes.

These are some kind of donkeys… my Mom didn’t get the exact species information, but she left this picture on the top of the photo pile for me to look at the next day, and it became my instant favorite that I would’ve featured last week had it not been for the Mecca possum invasion.  There is something extremely artsy and cool about these three asses… one face forward bookended by a couple donkey rumps.  And it was much better than the giant tortoise mating pictures in the same set that I will not bore you with…

Never ask a snapping turtle for oral.

Never ask a snapping turtle for oral.

And on that uncalled for note… see ya with another less graphic photo prompt next Wednesday!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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16 Responses to Asses For The Masses

  1. hahahaha you are a great tour guide! I saw a monkey once who had 6 with his hand and my mother couldn’t/wouldn’t explain what he did, so I asked the zoo-guy and he told me that he plays with a banana… my mother laughed hysterically and dragged me away… it stinks when you grow up totally clueless :o)

  2. This reminds me of a story. Doesn’t everything? When my son was little — maybe 7 or 8? It was during the “safari park” craze and me plus other friends, with and without young children, decided to go the the nearest one, somewhere in the Great Land of New Jersey.

    It was May, the merry month thereof. Every animal in the park was doing it, doing it doing it. From the tigers, who seems to be into the long slow afternoon of honor and offer, to the monkeys who wanted to do it on the hood of the car — and what can you say to a baboon in love with long teeth on your automobile hood? Yes sir worked for me.

    Needless to say, I never had to explain the facts of life to him. He got it. Really GOT it.

    • I’ve never understood why they call it “the birds and the bees” when it’s often animals of other varieties that offer us our first glimpse of adulthood. I’ve seen many birds and bees before, but I’ve never caught them getting freaky with each other…

  3. Mental Mama says:

    Snapping Turtle blow jobs – totally sounds like a “one per customer” sort of deal.

  4. Trisha says:

    You were really on a roll with this one. So many funny lines here. Thank you for the laughs! If I was faster at getting my camera phone going, I could have gotten an animal sex photo for you at the dog park this weekend when Smarty knocked a little dog down and then tried to hump it. I was kind of embarrassed to be his mom in that moment but it would have made for a funny photo!

    The donkey photo is really cool and, like you say, rather artsy. It was nice of them to pose like that! I can’t ever catch grazing animals doing anything but grazing, which makes for boring photos.

  5. Garry Armstrong says:

    Kinky! I like it!

  6. OMG I can’t get that image of those hyenas out of my head. Of course animals always wait until bunch of five year olds are there there to ask mom or their poor kindergarten teacher, “WHAT ARE THEY DOING?.” I’m glad that the last time I went to a zoo (two weeks ago) I only saw the aftermath of animal hokey pokey: a baby chimp, a baby hippo, a baby orangoutang, a baby monkey, a baby gibbon and a baby elephant. Jackpot!

  7. “A rose between two thorns…” ??

  8. Seems I just can’t get away from donkeys!!

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