Pucker Up

Why you should never go to the game with your sister.

Why you should never go to the game with your sister.

Happy Monday everyone!  Summer is winding down like a roll of toilet paper in a truck stop john, and so is The Nest’s look at the greatest songs that sounded better the second time through the turntable.  Welcome to the next post in my Top 30 Cover Songs of All Time countdown, and today we are finally into the Top Five!!!  OMG, it’s really getting goose pimply exciting now, isn’t it?  DJ Scratchy and the Sponks have got a nice, romantic number on tap for you’re tympanic pleasure this week… which would be perfect for anyone celebrating an anniversary today, like my Mom and Dad.  Happy happy you two!


#5. “Kiss” – Tom Jones with The Art of Noise

You have to be either really special or a real diva to need go by just one symbol name in this world, and Prince fits the bill on both counts.  The Purple One was pretty damn big in the 80’s despite the fact that I was never all that delirious for him.  Prince is also one of those really stuck up artists who thinks his material is too good to share with the unwashed masses who can’t afford to keep him covered up in little red Corvettes and raspberry berets.  Because of that, you don’t get a YouTube link to his 1986 #1 hit “Kiss” because there isn’t one.  That’s his loss, not yours, trust me…

Make sure you spell my symbol correctly on the royalty check I'm demanding for using my image on this pathetic little blog of yours, ES.

Make sure you spell my symbol correctly on the royalty check I’m demanding for using my image on this pathetic little blog of yours, ES.

Even Prince can’t stop his songs from being covered, so it was fair game for the oddball pairing of 60’s singing sensation Tom Jones and the 80’s most anonymous group, The Art of Noise, to team up on “Kiss” in 1988.  And if this were the World Series of Love, these two strange bedfellows would have knocked one clear out of the ballpark with this kickass little cover!!!

Sorry Prince, but the artist formerly known as Thomas Woodward totally fucking schooled you on how to sound seductive while actually having a little fun at the same time.  Your whiny little bitch version would make doves cry blood from their ears…

The Prince of Rodents

Well, at least this squirrel still seems to be a Prince fan.

It’s not unusual to think of groupies flinging panties on stage when the name Tom Jones comes up… but besides being one pair of assless chaps away from a Chippendale dancer, he also happens to be one of the most versatile performers in the entire music industry.  Far from just a purveyor of pop, Tom will do any genre, any time, and often do it better than those who do it for a living.  Country?  Yeah, he can unbutton a cowboy shirt.  Gospel?  There’s always time for confession after the show.  Hip hop?

Fuck yeah Tom Jones can do hip hop.

What up, Pussycat?

What up, Pussycat?

As for the other half who helped make this song great, The Art of Noise was without doubt one of the strangest “bands” of the 80’s, which of course is really saying something.  They were one of the first groups to make music almost exclusively from computers and sampling machines, rarely showing up on stage or coming out in the open for public appearances.  Prior to “Kiss”, they were probably best known for the extremely wacky video “Close To The Edit” and their remake of the Spy Hunter Peter Gunn theme where they borrowed the talent of another music legend from the past, Duane Eddy.  They also fittingly sampled both of these earlier works during Kiss’ intermezzo…

This man is not afraid to hold him wiener in front of a little girl... he must've went to Jared.

This man is not afraid to hold his wiener in front of a little girl… he must’ve went to Jared.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this week’s musical peck on the cheek.  If you promise to act your age and not your shoe size, I’ll return with the fourth best cover of all time next Monday… which I promise will be far and away the most fucked up song in my entire countdown.


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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27 Responses to Pucker Up

  1. fanrosa says:

    After you faked me out last week with not AC/DC, I was certain that this absolutely could not be Tom Jones and Prince. So yes, you faked me out by not faking me out….

    I was going to chastise you, but I’d forgotten about the Duany Eddy sample. And then I thought about it and thought, yeah, Tom Jones is pretty damned cool. Not Duane Eddy cool, but few are…ha!

    • Always keep them guessing. If only those fake outs on reality TV could be as unpredictable as I am…

      I will never forget your Duane Eddy comment on my instrumentals game, so I know where he stands with you. In fact, that may be the only reason I brought him up at all…

  2. crimsonowl63 says:

    I have never heard this version before, but love it. I was never a big Prince fan, but this is a great version of his song. And my husband always liked Art of Noise, so I have heard of them. Great combo with Mr. Jones. I am really digging this cover song count down.

    • The farther we get from the 80’s, the more I dislike Prince’s work. Maybe it’s just all the constant airplay… I think even old time country stations and AM preacher stations are contractually obligated to play one Prince song per hour…

      Thanks! The final four songs in the countdown have almost nothing in common other than the fact that they are covers, so it should be interesting!

  3. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Duane Eddy is freaking awesome!

    I just heard a song this morning that I realized was not on your list yet…so now I wait a few more weeks to see if it shows up or not 😀 Anticipation!

  4. Mental Mama says:

    Tom Jones just kind of oozes sex appeal. Prince oozed some kind of nasty hair product.

  5. Trisha says:

    I always hated Prince’s version of this song so I love your description of it – “whiny little bitch version would make doves cry blood from their ears” – well said! Tom Jones definitely did it better.

    • They are playing Prince now on Music Choice as I read this…. Damn, what in the hell did we ever see in that guy anyway? He should have all of his hits covered by someone who actually knows how to sing.

  6. Merbear74 says:

    It’s not unusual to be disturbed by anyone….

  7. OMG the bras are flying…

  8. My problem with Tom Jones is his name. I get him confused with the fictional anti-hero of the same name, about whom one book was written and one movie named. I’m easily confused!

    • Maybe he should’ve kept the name Woodward. Tom Woodward… the Wood Man, Tom The Woody! I’ll bet he’d get more ladies undergarments thrown at him with a name like that…

  9. gentlestitches says:

    I can never think of Tom Jones without thinking of showers of undies.
    Oh! Oh! Oh! She’s a lady! WHAM! hit with undies!
    lurve him. sigh. ❤
    Happy anniversary squirrel seniors. ❤

  10. draliman says:

    Pretty funky! And as an added bonus, the Google ad which appeared on top of the video was for a website where I can go and get a date with a Chinese woman 🙂

  11. markbialczak says:

    Yeah, I go with the funky Brit pensioner cover with the techno band groove, Bill. Tom Jones can still bring it. We can always Depends on him! The guy who once wanted his name to be merely symbols never had a chance.

  12. reocochran says:

    I like a little of Tom Jones and I admire some of Prince’s songs.
    I am sad about the purple squirrel and hope he was just stunned or napping. 🙂

    • That pic’s from a story back in 2012 of what was sworn to be a true, genuine purple furred squirrel. I have my doubts, but I’ve yet to see where it was shown to be a fraud (or heard anything else about it, for that matter)…

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