Archival Footage

Reading this blog can be such torture!

Reading this blog can be such torture!

Those of you who have suffered been around my blog for a while know that I have a tendency to recycle images as I sprinkle them liberally through my fine, funny posts here at The Nest.  Draliman certainly noticed, as he made a comment regarding a couple of my frequently appearing images on last Friday’s post.  I like to recycle archived images quite a bit… not only because I’m lazy, but for the practical benefit that it conserves the precious storage space WordPress allows for my visual porn.  And while I wear out my own drawings and photos… a number of those frequently appearing images are ones I mooched off of the internet, where due to its viral nature, any non-watermarked photo can suddenly become de-facto public domain.  In fact, most of my absolute favorites technically do not even belong to me…

I should be ashamed of myself.

I should be ashamed of myself.

I have always wondered what my most reused images are on this blog, but so far as I can tell, there is no dashboard tool that allows you to track how often the media in your archive is used.  That doesn’t mean I can’t still celebrate my favorites… so to completely bore the hell out of you celebrate The Nest’s favorite pixellated memes, I’m presenting my personal Top 10 favorite images that I frequently use on my blog!

Time to lay a couple ground rules…

I've got my Crayola ready.

I’ve got my Crayola ready.

First off, anything I drew or photographed is off limits.  These are my favorites I stole off of Google, so no matter how much I absolutely adore the frequently used photo I took of Ody with my fake Millionaire check, it’s not going to appear in this countdown…

Fine... see if I share any of my bounty with you.

Fine… see if I share any of my bounty with you.

Also, I’m going to set an arbitrary limit of photos having to appear in at least three posts to be considered serial images.  While it’s impossible for me to go back and see exactly how many times I’ve used each picture before, I have a good idea of ones I’ve used more than a couple times.  So that means that despite an incredible 295 all-time searches for “xxxxxxxxxxxl” which have all pointed Google users to the fat man picture I used in one retro ad post a year and a half ago, it’s not going to show up in the countdown either.

I figured I'd spare you all the unsightly visual..... um..... oops!

I figured I’d spare you all the unsightly visual….. um….. oops!

Well, let’s get started with the countdown, shall we?

10. “I’m At A Payphone”

Hello? Is this Adam Levine?

Hello? Is this Adam Levine?

I originally used this picture of some goofball pretending to use a payphone to lead off my October 2013 retro ad tribute to the cheesy 1-800- COLLECT commercials of the late 90’s, and it’s continued to be used as a cheap source of entertainment whenever I needed a gag about some douchebag using obsolete telecommunications technology.  It was my go-to for numerous phone-a-friend references during my Millionaire Journey.

9. “I Strip For Singles”

Ever wonder why those vending machines keep rejecting your one dollar bill?

Ever wonder why those vending machines keep rejecting your one dollar bill?

This was the image I recycled Friday that prompted Drali’s comment.  The Nest’s favorite stripper first appeared in my retro ad post about the Sacagawea dollar coin and the shitty commercial that helped it fail.  Our working girl has also slaved hard to provide many stiff gags in later posts.  Every time I use that image, though, I always have to check the pile to see if one of those bills has my “Where’s George?” stamp on it…

8. “The Possum and the Hound”

This is not how I hoped to go viral.

This is not how I hoped to go viral.

One of the many possum themed pictures I first used in The Nest’s most read post of all time, “Playing Possum,” the look on the dog’s face keeps me reaching for it again and again when I need visual comic relief.  That pooch doesn’t seem too happy to be posing over that marsupial that may or may not have pulled a Buster and expired.  Not exactly possum’s best friend…

7. “Textbook Texting”

The future of our world, ladies and gentlemen. May Dog help us all.

The future of our world, ladies and gentlemen. May Dog help us all.

I would love to think this photo of a class in session where over half the kids have their noses in a phone instead of a book was set up… but sadly, this is probably what school is truly like these days.  I once had a substitute teacher in junior high shop class show us a movie with sex scene that had more control over the class than whoever is teaching this world’s most estupido Spanish class.  If it weren’t for Horshack back there by the tarea board wanting to know if he can have a hall pass to take a toke leak, you probably wouldn’t even think there was any adult supervision in this room full of Generation Twit.

Oh, I first used it in my post about old school classroom globes, the last true Flashback Friday post I ever did, and when I need to mock some morons on their cellphones, I often turn to Senorita Puta’s class.

6. “Da Biebs!”

Oh, fuck yeah!  I knew I'd end up making the countdown!  W00000000t!!!!

Oh, fuck yeah! I knew I’d end up making the countdown! W00000000t!!!!

This scary photo of worldwide douchebag singing sensation Justin Bieber getting wild and crazy first appeared in my tribute to Roundup weed killer last year, and has been there for me whenever I need to reference the Canadian asshat.  In this one humble image, you can tell just how fucking annoying this clown really is.

5. “The Frat Boys”

Keep on chuggin'.

Keep on chuggin’.

My favorite underdog of the countdown, this picture just cracks my ass up every time I use it.  The goofball with the curly locks chugging down one stein of beer while reaching for more, his poor guy on the left who looks like he’s about to go down for the alcohol poisoning count, the dark haired loser in the background whose liver seems to have just quit on him.  I first uploaded this shot for my dressing room tales portion of the Millionaire Journey, and I’ve only used it a few more times since.  I must change that… these stereotypical frat boys represent everything I never did in college…

4. “Bronyman!”

OK, I'll admit.  I am jealous of his collection...

OK, I’ll admit. I am jealous of his collection…

I first used this creepy adorable photo of the gentleman I dubbed Bronyman in the first of my two-part series on the concept of cute two years ago.  I still can’t get over just how awesome this picture is… there’s the sly, somewhat offsetting smile of Bronyman, almost daring you to say something derogatory about him.  But what totally fucking makes this image is the lady in the background who just looks completely embarrassed to be seen sitting next to some portly dude and his hundreds of My Little Pony dolls.  Nevermind her, Bronyman… you just keep going with your bad self!

3. “Bathroom Breakfast”

The unflushable taste of Cheerios!

The unflushable taste of Cheerios!

My retro ad roasting of Cocoa Krispies brought into my blog’s collection this hilariously disgusting image of a man eating cereal out of a toilet bowl.  I just typed “toilet cereal” into Google, and BAM!  This epic pic has been my go-to when I need a visual comedic reference to breakfast or cereal…

2. “Real Men Drink Zima”

The Frat Boys... 10 years later.

The Frat Boys… 10 years later.

What seemed like a throwaway image I uploaded for my send-up of Zima in 2013 has wound up becoming one of my most reused and beloved photos from my archive.  Obviously, it’s the middle Stooge in this picture that totally makes it for me… not only is he apparently the only person who ever got drunk off of alcoholic Sprite, but the way he’s holding the bottle with a finger extended just makes him the perfect representative for what became known as the girly man’s drink of choice.  His domestic partner on the right is totally on the Zima bandwagon, unlike the man in the foreground who is drinking some unnamed beer.  But hey, at least he’s wearing a pink shirt and tie…

1. “Dishwasher Dog”

The only reason some of you keep coming back to my blog in the first place.

The only reason some of you keep coming back to my blog in the first place.

What has become in a way my blog’s most iconic image is also the most recently uploaded picture in this countdown.  If you were here for my Millionaire Journey last Spring/Summer/Fall, then you knew Dishwasher Dog was going to take the #1 spot.  Since it was a dishwasher Amy Turner hoped to buy with her winnings, I needed an appropriate but humorous picture to accompany the post covering her excruciating $32,000 question, and hit the jackpot with this photo of a dog inside the dishwasher licking the tableware clean.  Several readers commented on how much they enjoyed Dishwasher Dog, so I made him a running gag throughout the rest of the series, and even gave him the honor of being my lead image for last year’s Best of The Nest post!

Is this The Nest's complaint line?  Yeah, I want to know how come I didn't make the countdown... what in the hell is up with this shitty hold muzak!?!?

Is this The Nest’s complaint line? Yeah, I want to know how come I didn’t make the countdown… and who in the hell is came up with this shitty hold muzak, some freaky unicorn!?!?

So, are there any favorite images I tend to use often on my blog that you didn’t see listed here?  Do you have any favorite images you like to run into the ground on your blog?  Did you even bother to read a post that clocked in at almost 1600 words, yet was primarily about pictures?



About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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33 Responses to Archival Footage

  1. it seems a lot of your fabulous thursday nest comics are inspired by #8 :o) I feel a little sorry… for the dog he looked as if he expected a much better prey than a possum… like me as I won a prize competition… 3 buckets of alpina white wall color :o(

  2. draliman says:

    Yay for dishwasher dog! As I was reading I wondered where he was. You went nuts for him a little while ago, he was popping up everywhere 🙂

    • I am such a pushover for a running gag, but that’s something else that should be obvious to anyone who’s read my blog for a long time! At least I didn’t try to work him into my comics (yet!)

  3. I am having a bad day. A very bad day. But you made me laugh. The hugely fat blogger is my personal least favorite. I just can’t not look at it.

  4. goldfish says:

    I reuse images, too. I’ll look for a featured image and think, “Hey, I think I already have something like that,” and lo and behold, I do! I’ve been meaning to sort my media library so it’s easier to find things, but in five years, I never have.

    • It’s frustrating when I know exactly what picture I want, but I can’t remember what I uploaded it as to find it! I’ve found some of my images have weird file names…

      • goldfish says:

        Yup. A lot of my images are titled with numbers or something equally obscure. I usually have to think of the post I used it in, search that, then click on the image to find the name, remember it, search in my media library and cross my fingers.

        Honestly, it’s easier to upload a new image than use one I already have. Another excellent innovation from WP. 😐

  5. NotAPunkRocker says:

    Somehow I think this is a thinly-veiled plot by you and Draliman to just post the stripper picture…again…and again.

  6. crimsonowl63 says:

    I cannot un-see that very large man! Thanks for not showing it.

  7. Trisha says:

    The stripper photo makes my touch of OCD flare up to alarming levels. My hands feel dirty just from the memory of touching paper money….

    The rest of the photos are really funny! Well, at least the ones in the countdown. Like crimsonowl63, I’m having trouble un-seeing one of the others. I’m trying to replace it with the memory of Ody’s indignant look. That’s such a classic cat expression!

    • I think money, like eating fast food, is all about forgetting its past. You don’t know, or likely want to know, what it has been through. Luckily, I’m the anti-germophobe….

      I use Ody to pose with a lot of my things I want to show off, and that is by far his best. Indignant is the perfect word to describe his natural expression! Of course, he can be totally cute when he wants to be, too…

  8. fanrosa says:

    Piebald Snake!!!!!!!11

    And if I never see that toilet cereal picture again it will still be way too soon. I have to super-sonic scroll whenever I see the top of that picture so avoid creating some toilet cereal of my own….

    But kudos to you for having the nards to google image the phrase “toilet cereal”. I guess…..

    • Damn, I guess I’ve never had occasion to use a picture of a piebald snake again. I don’t even think I’ve reused the piebald fox, and he was so damn cute. I’ll see about including a warning the next time Toilet Cereal man gets a cameo…

  9. JackieP says:

    I think I need to clean my eyes now. Between the stripper with a hell of a lot more money than me and the fat guy…..oh wow. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen…. 😉

  10. Mental Mama says:

    I’ve been known to recycle images, too. Some are just too good to only use once. But seriously, pass the eye bleach. That super fat guy… YIKES!

  11. markbialczak says:

    They’re all bound to be seen again and again and again, Bill. The pay phone guy looks a little like Weird Al, don’t you think? And I have a suspicion your frat boys are a promo shot from a bad movie of which I can’t remember the title.

    • I can see old school Weird Al in that picture. I just reverse imaged the Frat Boys pic, and you are exactly right. It’s a scene from “American Pie: Beta House”… a movie which I can only assume was somehow snubbed by the Academy Awards…

      • markbialczak says:

        I knew I had seen those snarky frat boy looks somewhere else before, Bill. They were somehow too studied to be real-world blotto. Yeah, American PIe movies without Jason Biggs in them are way down that franchise list.

  12. This post both warms my heart with toxic cuteness and then makes me want to barf on so many levels. Good times in the nest, just keep that asshat Beebs outside. No, I’m not kidding. I’d rather have a wild possum or a goat in my house than him.

  13. The Cutter says:

    It’s no surprise an image of a Brony would be so often used. We, I mean, Bronies, are awesome!

  14. Dishwasher dog never gets old. Bronyman is awesome! I love it when people are passionate! The woman next to him perhaps just accidentally ate a raw prawn and is desperate for the dunny? HaHaHa! 😀

  15. Dishwasher Dog really needs to turn up in a comic as he’s no. 1 on your list.

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