The Throne Room

You never know what you'll find when you dig through your virtual hoarder stash.

You never know what you’ll find when you dig through your virtual hoarder stash.

It’s my monthly four day weekday/weekend week (No, it doesn’t make sense… don’t rack your brain over it), and I’m aiming to actually get things done in the next three and a half days… like finally doing my taxes, taking care of the prizes for my contest winners, posting the picture dayThursday comic while it is still actually Thursday in most of the world, and maybe even finding time to feed the cats!  Well, I would if I didn’t have a doctor appointment, my Dad didn’t have a doctor appointment, and I didn’t turn into such a lazy slacker when my free time piles up.  Oh well, at least I’ll commit to having a better entry for this Wednesday’s Picture Day series here at The Nest!

As I opened up my virtual photo archive for inspiration this morning, I noticed a folder I had completely forgotten I’d even had simply titled “Blog.”  Blog (Which also included three subfolders creatively titled “Blog2,” “Blog3” and “Blog4”) was a dumping ground for all of my squirrel photos I took during the first year of Evil Squirrel’s Nest’s life.  However as I quickly found out as I leafed through the virtual album pages, anything else I had on the memory card at the time also got deposited in these folders that would go on to escape the minimum security prison of my memory… including such classic photos as this one:

The latest trend in lawn furniture...

The latest trend in lawn furniture…

According to data that Photobucket stores when I upload my photos, I took that picture on November 6, 2012… which would make sense since I know I went for a walk that morning.  That was our last Presidential election day in the U.S…. the day I gave Buster Possum his one and only vote for the Oval Office.  And really, is there not a more fitting symbolic image to come across on the way to the polls than a discarded toilet?  This is the chair Clint Eastwood should have been talking to four years ago, because politics makes most of us just want to take a huge dump.

Am I right, Regis?

Am I right, Regis?

But since I don’t discuss politics on this blog, let’s talk about toilets instead!

Mommy!  Who dumped all these Cheerios in our toilet?

Mommy! Who dumped all these Cheerios in our toilet?

Despite what we’ve been led to believe, Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet.  He did, however, have this giggleworthy company logo that could be found in classy loos all throughout the English countryside…

You wouldn't want to piss on anything else.

You wouldn’t want to piss on anything else.

Another popular piece of bathroom folklore is that Elvis Presley died while dropping a deuce.  The King may very well have been on his throne prior to keeling over, but he was actually found on the floor several feet away from blue Hawaii…

Or maybe he's on a toilet in Switzerland right now... who knows?

Or maybe he’s on a toilet in Switzerland right now… who knows?

No tribute to the commode would be complete without TV land icon Archie Bunker on the “terlet”…

If you would like to read about what happens when a squirrel gets into your dunny, click on this classic post of mine!

Good to the last drop!

Good to the last drop!

And here’s an oldie but goodie bit of classic toilet humor from your favorite critter comic artiste…

comic80714

Got something to add to this septic salute that is guaranteed to be 100% flushable?  Go ahead and be a potty mouth in the comments!  I’ll search beneath the rim for some more organic material to post about next week…

Nothing a little Mr. Clean can't fix...

Nothing a little Mr. Clean can’t fix…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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28 Responses to The Throne Room

  1. Kat says:

    Nothing like crappy public crapping to start the day…

  2. not sure if I would do that for my phone :o) but I remember our neighbor who bought a brandnew throne and placed it in his entrance to bring the trailer back to the garage… he was away for maybe 20 minutes and that was enough that a dirtbag used it … how mean can people be?

    • Ewwww!!! That was really shitty. I wonder if stores that sell toilets have to put up with that kind of grossness as well (Customers will occasionally pee in coolers and plastic totes where I work)…

  3. Know what I think? Humans are weird…..however, on the other paw, we cats can pee and poop in some rather “creative” spots too if we’re in the mood.

    Wacky Hugs, Sammy the Cat

  4. You mean … T. Crapper DIDN’T INVENT THE FLUSH TOILET? My disillusionment is total. That’s it. I’m in despair.

    I know you’re not political … but I read the subtext. I shall so no more!! I wish I could get me reblog function to work again. It makes me crazy that it doesn’t. I know, I should get in touch with the gargoyle fixit team at WordPress, but I haven’t been able to do it. Sigh.

    • Chalk it up to more revisionist history… and the fact that we love the name Crapper. I’m disappointed every time I find out his name was Thomas, because I always instinctively search for “John” Crapper…

      I aim to tell nobody what to post… if I sense serious political talk, I just skip on to the next post in my Reader. As long as it isn’t a blogger’s obsession, I can live with continuing to follow them. As per the reblog issues…. in honor of the subject of today’s post, perhaps jiggling the handle might fix it?

  5. Piglove says:

    O.M.P. That last picture – Oh my – better call in the bald headed dude to hit that ASAP. Shivers to mergatroid. XOXO – Bacon

  6. draliman says:

    Those toilet photos both look like images I saw of the crappers in the Russian Olympic Village 🙂

    I checked out Mr Crapper, and although he didn’t invent the flush toilet he did invent the ballcock, before which presumably the flushes simply overflowed.

    • I saw that he invented the ballcock (Although Prof. Wikipedia found reason to believe that was dubiously cited), and almost mentioned that… but then the rest of the post would have just been me laughing at the word “ballcock!”

  7. chattykerry says:

    That last toilet reminded me of that awful scene in “Trainspotting”. Put me off heroin for life. 🙂

  8. Trisha says:

    I think the symbolism of finding a random toilet on your way to the polls last time is very fitting! Makes me wonder what would be a fitting thing to find this year. A flooded sewer? A lost nuke? A wormhole to hell?

    What these toilet photos made me think of was the dream I had the other night. I was on a walk through my neighborhood and I stopped to talk to someone and halfway through the conversation I realized I was sitting on the crapper. I’m so glad that doesn’t happen in real life!

    • I’m glad I’m not the only one with sudden scene shifting dreams. I don’t know if I’ve ever dreamed of being on the crapper before, but now that the seed is planted, I’ll bet I wake up with nightmares of it!

      • Trisha says:

        If you do have the crapper dream, I apologize for planting the seed! They’re rather horrifying when you’re in them. I always used to dream I was on the toilet in the middle of the hallway in my high school. I think the toilet dream is probably a variation of the classic naked in public dream that so many people get!

  9. fanrosa says:

    1. THANK YOU for not using the cereal eating guy, I was scrolling Verrrrryyyy Slowwlllly throughout the post.

    2. That last toilet has nothing on the Filthiest Toilet in Scotland. Amateur…..

    3. I love the Modern Marvels and How the (Blank) Built Civilization programs. I can’t remember which one it was (I think MM) had a show on plumbing that was absolutely fascinating. For reals! So simple, yet so elegant. Physics, who knew?

    • I intentionally left out Toilet Cereal and the squirrel in the toilet who looks like a walking turd for my readers with delicate sensibilities… though it’s more fun to use those pics when the reader isn’t expecting them!

      I’ve often marveled at how plumbing works… it’s one of those things that I swear must be magic.

  10. Merbear74 says:

    I’ve clogged many a terlet…

  11. I woke up this morning without my sence of humor but thanks to the nest I have it back! To add a comment to this topic ” you would NOT believe the dunnies in China. No offence to the great people of China who were very kind and hospital but OMG! And some with out walls or doors just a roof. They made the outback dunnies from my childhood look glamorous. Loved your comic and the sentiment “I will help, but only after I photograph it and put it on facebook”.😁

  12. Don’t forget that there are toilet obessions the whole world over. In Germany, they’ve invented one with a poo shelf, so you can look at your leavings to make sure they’re healthy before you flush, or indeed collect a sample to take to the doc if required. Japan goes in the other direction – luxurious and everything flushed away and out of sight before you can even smell it, apparently. The least said about the holes in the ground you find in public loos in France the better, even if they are better for the digestive system!

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