Skunks Rule

Got a problem with that?

Got a problem with that?

Happy Friday to you all!  We’ve made it to the one-quarter mark of the year already… can prompt logo 2you believe that?  Yeah, I know, with it being an election year, it just seems like it’s been longer… but we’re only to the fourth month, so there’s plenty of 2016 still left.  Hang in there, and let The Nest make things better with another weekly slap to the back of the head we like to call Prompt the Squirrel Friday!  Last week’s sad puppy dog managed to lure two more prompts into my mailbox, but we’re still WAY short of where we should be.  You, yes YOU… the one who hasn’t bothered to send me a suggestion for PTS2 yet.  Go here and use the contact form now so together we can continue to make Fridays a fun time…

The alternative will be watching paint dry... so participate or pull yourself up a bucket.

The alternative will be watching paint dry… so participate or pull yourself up a bucket.

Since today happens to be April Fools Day, I figured I’d celebrate this offbeat observation with something appropriately silly.  Mattmax doesn’t have a blog that I’m aware of, but he does occasionally comment on my posts… and those replies generally focus around one thing: skunks.  Recalling the first few comments he made on my blog, I nervously clicked on the email when I saw his name on a PTS submission… but I was quite delighted when I read what he asked of this squirrel…

An Ode to the Skunk. Just a poem with some photos of our favorite skunks.

Truth, beauty, and skunks!

Truth, beauty, and skunks!

It’s hardly a secret to anyone who regularly reads my blog that my heart belongs to more than just the squirrels of the world.  The Nest has a love for raccoons, possums, unicorns, kitties… and yes skunks.  Maybe especially skunks.  As cute as they are as wild critters, they are also perhaps my favorite critter to draw anthro style.  Skunkettes, the furry world term for a female anthro skunk, in particular have a certain charm to them… and it’s no coincidence that I not only have two major characters in my universe who fit that bill, but that they were inspired by two of my very favorite people from the Millionaire message board…

It's skunky selfie time!

It’s skunky selfie time!

So while I do have an affection for the little stinkers, one thing you will never see me singing the praises of is poetry itself.  I have a hard enough time trying to understand the symbolism and meaning of regular writing.  When it’s broken down into something that resembles verse, I might as well be reading a book of random Mad Libs.  There are a number of talented poets among my following here, and I always feel bad that I can’t appreciate their work because it just goes over my puny little acorn brain.

Let me write an ode to your stupidity in triple iambic fucktameter...

Let me write an ode to your stupidity in triple iambic fucktameter…

Short of a nonsensical haiku, a dirty limerick or a parody… attempting to write a poem is probably going to be about as easy for me as if I tried to drive a stick shift through downtown traffic… and the result will probably be just as disastrous.  But hide all the children, small animals and tender vegetation, because I’m going to give this a go anyway.  This may be the world’s worst poetry ever….


Summon my muses!

An Ode To A Skunk

by Evil Squirrel

What’s black and is white
And is cute through and through?
Tis the stripe-ed wild skunk
Of the rural petting zoo

They don’t get our love
No, we stress on their minuses
Hell, we can’t even thank them
For clearing our sinuses

Better than a Ricola.

Better than a Ricola.

They’ll shower Rover with love
And Whiskers with affection
You might want to walk
In the other direction

Along Highway Nine
One might cause you to seethe
With miles to go
Before you can breathe

But have not a fear
In the world of The Nest
The walkers and talkers
Are the skunks we like the best

Skunkettes will not spray you
With their unheavenly smell
They’re just perky and sweet
And adorable as hell

What's up, Doc?

What’s up, Doc?

Hooly grabs at this life
By its big fluffy tail
Come hell or high water
Epic win or bad fail

The life of the party
She’s always where it’s at
Her gravitational pull
Can squish you quite flat

Haters gonna hate! Rah rah rah!

Haters gonna hate! Rah rah rah!

She can be downright nasty
Or pleasing as punch
And keep an eye on your heart
Or she’ll have it for lunch

If a skunkbitch is not
Your idea of fun
Then you should seek out dear Hottie
Just follow the sun



Vitamin B-Cheerful
In large doses you’ll get
Happiness is
My sweet blonde haired skunkette

Out of touch she may be
With the world as we know it
But with reality’s fertilizer
She’ll plant a flower and grow it

Skunkettes live for the simple things.

Skunkettes live for the simple things.

There’s more skunks on the payroll
Hooly and Hottie aren’t quite all
There’s the latter’s niece Kati
And the hard luck Stinkerball

But since I have Blaze and Erin
And Sulphur and Wiki
Their comic appearances
Aren’t much but a quickie

The more time they have for fun with each other...

The more time they have for fun with each other…

A world without skunks
Would be a sad one indeed
Their spunk and their spark
Is just what we need

Skunks are quirky and funky
They’ll never cease to amuse
Thank Dog there are Flowers
And Pepe le Pews

Zee poetry may ztink, but I am still turned on, no?

Zee poetry may ztink, but I am still turned on, no?

Here’s a toast to all skunks
Who are prowling tonight
May you cross your roads safely
May the bedbugs not bite

So go find you a skunk
Give it a big hug, by gosh
Don’t fret should it love you back
It’ll come out in the wash

You love me and you know it!!!

You love me and you know it!!!

Well… that sure as hell won’t win a Pulitzer Prize, though that may be a good thing.  Thank you Mattmax for giving me the opportunity to wax poetic about one of my favorite unappreciated critters with a little skunky verse.  Once the stench clears, I’ll return with another prompt next Friday…

skunk unicorn

Don;’t get pissed because nobody wants to read unicorn poetry, Rainbow Donkey…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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34 Responses to Skunks Rule

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Not that I’m a judge of poetry…this didn’t stink at all. 😉 Happy Friday, ES.

  2. I think you did very well with your ode to skunkdom. There is much one can say (and smell) about skunks and you’ve pretty well covered the lot!


  3. BRAVO! I love it… and yes Pepe Le Pew would be the perfect addition to petting zoos :o)

  4. That made my morning! “Stank-you”! 🙂 (*crickets*) Going back to my day job.

  5. Mattmax says:

    One of the most amazing mornings I’ve had! Even though there’s a stench in the air!

  6. Kat says:

    That is absofuckinglutely perfect for today, thank you good sir.

  7. chattykerry says:

    I just love skunks and your ode to them. Cutest little critters.

    • They are indeed! I just wish most of the ones I saw weren’t squished. We have a few who hang around work though, and they account for the only live skunks I’ve ever seen…

      • chattykerry says:

        We live in a forest so are literally surrounded by skunks, possums, squirrels and everything else. The infra red camera shows us what high jinks they all get up to. Did you know that Mama Possums will give young raccoons a smack? Hilarious!

  8. Ally Bean says:

    Quite profound. Who doesn’t relate to a rhyming poem that uses the words “gravitational pull” & “squish” to capture the essence of skunk-i-ness? Well done.

    • We’ll see if this one ends up in the literature textbooks of the future…. if there are any textbooks in the future. Maybe just an assignment with a link to an old blog post…

  9. My first husband’s sister raised an entire litter of baby skunks in her bathtub. There were completely tame and as cute as you might imagine. They were NOT de-scented, but she explained — being a reputable naturalist — that a skunk does not “release” in his home. He is simply too polite for that. We could have adopted one of the babies, but we already had cats and dogs and were afraid a fully-intact skunk baby might be startled and forget his/her manners.

    Skunks are absolutely adorable. Really. Funny and cute and catlike and charming. And very very pretty 🙂

    • That may be the cure to keep all the skunks lurking around Mecca from stinking the joint up at night…. adopt them so they won’t spray around the store! We could use a nice mascot, and something to frighten off the customers after closing time…

  10. draliman says:

    If there’s one thing we need more of it’s skunk spunk (and spark) 🙂 I’m not sure I’d go near one at the rural petting zoo, however. Cool poem!

    • For three dollars (plus tax), you could even buy some old pizza crusts to feed them while petting! The idea of a rural petting zoo with squirrels and skunks and possums and the like sounds so awesome, yet I don’t think I could get it insured!

  11. dragonsashes says:

    That didn’t stink. XD It was fun!

  12. Trisha says:

    I understood what you were saying in your poetry and that makes it good in my book! I’ve never been one to grasp the usually too well hidden meaning in poetry. Plus, your poem is about skunks, which are so cute and which I sadly never see, dead or alive, anymore. Sometimes I think I catch a whiff of one but it’s always just skunk cabbage or marijuana smoke. Skunks were actually one of my biggest fears growing up because of how my dad went on and on about how the smell NEVER came out of things, like skin and hair. I was afraid I would stumble upon one and forever more be known as Skunk Girl. Now, I would love to see one of those adorable little critters!

    • We have a few around work, as I have noted by sight and by smell. I’ll bet they spray the possums that wander around the lot… and maybe the skunky lot lizards as well!

  13. ody & biskit…for sum ones dad who sayz him canna rite poet tree…him did a dam good job 🙂 …thiz poem rocks de houz !!!! skunks everee wear R tweetin thiz on that twitter stuff….. & de dawgs oh de werld…. R hopin they get sprayed 🙂 !!!

    heerz two a flabby whalefish kinda week oh end ♥♥♥

  14. gentlestitches says:

    apaws, apaws. I read it to ami Hottie and she loved it. The song is so cheerful and upbeat for such a topic. HaHa! Pepe is so funny always ‘looking to find you!” 😀

    • YAY! I’m sure it would sound better to music, but all I have is my crappy keyboard and zero musical talent! Oh, wait! I’ll get the Sponkies and DJ Scratchy on that!

  15. OK, maybe not the world’s classiest poem, but a lovely light-hearted and fun one. Nice job, ES.

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