An Uncompensated Endorsement

I'm getting paid to look like a douche, right?

I’m getting paid to look like a douche for Mentos, right?

Happy Friday to you all, and a happy coming of age day to my glorious 18 year Mecca prompt logo 2career!  Yes, kids who were born on the same day I started keeping the local store shelves full can now legally buy their first $8 pack of cigarettes.  But forget about that, because the only nasty habit I’m going to indulge in today is another hit off the unfiltered suggestions that you have deposited in my inbox for this week’s Prompt the Squirrel Friday!  Those same cool kids who peer pressured you into a lifetime of nicotine and tar are also the ones who’ve participated in PTS2 this year, and their input has been greatly appreciated.  If you’re still hanging with the burnouts in the back of the class etching anarchy symbols on your desk instead of taking this opportunity of a lifetime to inspire your very own post on The Nest…. well, it’s time to tune off, turn out and drop back in and use this contact form to join all of the mature kids who are doing the adult thing.

It's time to break out of the Stone Age.

It’s time to break out of the Stone Age.

This week’s prompt comes to us from WordPress’ favorite weimaraner Easy Rider and his staff whose adventures and misadventures in life have kept me entertained for about 87 years.  The post idea they suggested will now appear before your eyes….. VIOLA!

how about commercials…. best with your sisters, that was like being a kid too for a moment :o)

This is how we make commercials in the hood.

This is how we make commercials in the hood.

For those of you who weren’t with me two years ago, Easy is referring to the completely amateur parody commercials me and my younger sisters staged and filmed in our yard over 20 years ago which I shared here.  Of course, I love classic TV advertisements and have a long series of posts in which I simultaneously mock and salute the message they sent to those of us who didn’t need to use the bathroom every ten minutes in primetime.  Commercials take place in an ideal fantasy world where your product always works, your competitor’s alternative is invariably a piece of shit, and absolutely nothing makes sense….. ever!

This is not how my mother taught me to wash my hair!

This is not how my mother taught me to wash my hair!

The bulky camcorder that I used to film those parody ads way back in the 90’s was the last time I ever had a piece of video recording equipment in my paws… so I won’t be making a live action commercial for this post.  And that’s good, because the only two actors I have available to me now are really bad at taking direction and frequently walk off the set to take a nap in their trailers…

Sorry, but SAG guidelines say that shooting stops anytime there is a sunbeam.

Sorry, but SAG guidelines say that shooting stops anytime there is a sunbeam.

But drawing bad critters in MS Paint and Photoshop can solve most of the problems facing our world today, and I’ll be turning to my magic mouse to produce an original commercial for the entertainment of my highbrow readers.  It just so happens that the air freshener section I stock at Mecca got a new product in last year that seemed tailor made for one of my characters and I’ve long thought about creating a mock ad to post here for it.

The scent name makes about as much sense as the names of my characters do.

The scent name makes about as much sense as the names of my characters do.

Not only did Glade’s decision to name this scent “Blue Odyssey” constantly call to mind my no-nonsense black and white kitty, but the color on the cap is almost a perfect match for her dark blue hair (Even if the camera flash makes the cap look a lighter shade, trust me, it’s much deeper blue than that).  So I approached Odyssey about giving the air care spray that bears her name a plug, and she was very enthusiastic about it…

She just had the wrong kind of enthusiasm...

She just had the wrong kind of enthusiasm…

Hmmmm… I wonder if there’s any way we can convince her of the public service she’d be doing for my blog in accepting this spokescritter gig….?

Smells like team spirit!

Smells like team spirit!

That’s the can-do attitude we like to see, Ody Baby.  Now, if you’d please be so kind as to demonstrate to the viewing audience at home some of the many practical uses for Glade® Blue Odyssey ™ fragrance spray…

odyssey pigladillo

Amazing!  What else can Glade Blue Odyssey do?

skunkbitch odors

That’s some powerful stuff!  What about outside the home?

odyssey protest

Is that all?

odyssey bar

OK, it sounds like Glade Blue Odyssey is extremely versatile!  But is it actually safe to use?

rainbow unicorn puking

I don’t know about you, but I’m totally sold on Glade Blue Odyssey air freshener spray!  From our critters to yours, you can take our word on it!

Legal disclaimer: The preceding was a commercial parody, and the staff at Evil Squirrel's Nest does not necessarily endorse Glade air fresheners and was paid dip diddly squat from SC Johnson and Sons for this fake promotional material.

Legal disclaimer: The preceding was a commercial parody, and the staff at Evil Squirrel’s Nest does not necessarily endorse Glade air fresheners, plus we were paid dip diddly squat from SC Johnson and Sons for this fake promotional material.

Well, that will hopefully keep the lawyers out of our stash of acorns.  Thank you Easy for allowing me to have a little fun writing silly ads again, and please return next Friday for another persuasive prompt that has been approved by our sponsors…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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34 Responses to An Uncompensated Endorsement

  1. oh boy… they even puke rainbows? …wait a minute I look for a pot to fill it with… gold or whatever it is LOL I loved the idea to make your own commercials with your sisters, I would love to see you in TV and I never would use the remote to zap around while waiting for the end of the commercial break :o) I love that spray… it’s is named by you cat, right? They sadly furgot a “D” in Blue ODDY-ssey :o)

    • I’d make some damn funny commercials, but the companies probably wouldn’t like the way I portrayed their products! I’m sure the spray was named after my cat… they must have known about his infamous silent farts!

      • Garry Armstrong says:

        Squirrel, you’ve become an icon and a legend.

      • Awesome! I hope icon and legend status comes with a lot of cool perks. Does this mean I’ll get my own star on the Walk of Fame? Will I be able to hobnob with world leaders, sports greats and supermodels? Can I skip the long line at the drive thru crematorium?

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    This is hilarious. The commercial people should hire you. Seriously, they should.

  3. Ally Bean says:

    Good prompt. Nice ads. Best summation of this year’s election to date: I’m angry. So, like… change stuff! Love it all.

    • That should be on every picket sign everywhere… just cut to the chase and let us know how you really feel! I don’t get angry, I just get involved in apathy…

  4. You’re making me laugh.

  5. Garry is a total air freshener addict. That may have something to do with the two gasbag scotties that nightly fill the air with emission so intense I swear you can see them hovering. I think our freshener bill is about as high as our car payment. This post was definitely for him!

    • If this product can cover up dead possum and fresh playas, it can definitely take care of dog gas… just get the great big can, you never want to run out.

      • Garry Armstrong says:

        ‘Cuse the interruption here. I think my sharp sense of smell is God’s make up gift for my deafness. Not enough, Big Guy! Squirrel, I put this piece up on my Facebook page. It’s Hall of Fame stuff.

      • Thanks for the share! I’m glad this post smelled like a winner…

  6. I think you and your sisters missed out on a great career making commercials…..if you can parody them that well, you can certainly handle the “real thing” just as well! Just think of all the moola you could have made all these years – – – you could have been a squirrelionaire by now!

    Pam

    • I think my real advertising talent is in taking what others have already done and making it funnier while also mocking the hell out of it. I coulda been the Weird Al of commercials maybe!

      • Garry Armstrong says:

        Squirrel, it wudda been great having you as a colleague in TV News. We cudda been the new Huntley and Brinkley. Goodnight, Squirrel.

      • There’s plenty of opportunity to mock some of the incredibly idiotic commercials (or even programs)that you see that’s for sure! They’re just “askin’ for it!”…………….

  7. Merbear74 says:

    I am in a shitty mood today and this really made me smile. And laugh.
    Damn hilarious, you at your best!

  8. ody & biskit…….thiz iz hill larry uz….yur dad shuld bee ritin for MAD magazine !!!!!! 🙂 🙂

    heerz two a monkeyface prickleback kinda week oh end ♥♥♥

  9. HaHa! ! can’t believe the world is seriously debating which bathroom to use. fair Dinkum at my son’s school (at the moment) they “encourage” the children to use bathrooms depending on sex not gender. Sex is a person’s organs whereas gender is if they “feel” like a male or female. They also have rainbow day where all the spectrums of the different sexualities is celebrated. I am so out of touch. I relate to air freshener though. You should write ads. “Stop peeing on my lawn you kids” sprays air freshener. Seriously though I hope all the children feel good about themselves and then do their HOMEWORK! Be a rainbow after homework and chores! LOL!

  10. This was really funny. But beware of success. The IRS may come looking for a share of your dip diddly squat!

  11. draliman says:

    I’m sure your lab unicorn vomiting was just a coincidence. It’s a shame about Buster but let’s be honest, there’s very little that doesn’t kill Buster.

  12. I loved this post! Hilarious. Rainbow puke is magical.

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