Casting Acorns

So, do I get the job Mr. DeMille?

So, do I get the job Mr. DeMille?

May is quickly winding down like that roll of toilet paper your cats are disassembling in the prompt logo 2bathroom, but there is just enough room for one more double-ply idea from my readers to satisfy you from top to bottom on Prompt the Squirrel Fridays!  This will also be the last time you’ll have to bear with me groveling for more prompts from those who have decided participation is something that only other people do.  Not that I won’t gladly accept any newcomers up until the series is closed out (which right now would be in late July), I just won’t keep up with these constant reminders most people skip over anyway in a frantic race for the Like button so they can go read something more interesting on another blog.  But you know how it goes… if you haven’t submitted a prompt for PTS2 yet, then you aren’t on this page somewhere… and the only way to get on there is to go to the contact form here and enter a post idea!  This is your final warning!

Failure to participate in PTS2 will result in public humiliation by Angry Soccer Dad.

Failure to participate in PTS2 will result in public humiliation by Angry Soccer Dad.

This week’s prompt comes to us from Ally Bean, author of the blog The Spectacled Bean, and someone so experienced at blogging that you were probably in diapers when she made her first post (That may be a slight exaggeration).  Since I’m in cahoots with such a friend of her resident sciurine Fuzzy, she was kind enough to give me this topic to work with…

Let’s say that Evil Squirrel’s Nest has become incredibly popular, as well it should be. Hollywood has expressed a desire to make your comic strip into a movie for the big screen. You’ve been give carte blanche power to cast any famous actor or actress to star in the movie. Who will you cast?

I guess it's time to vacuum all the cat hair off of the couch...

I guess it’s time to vacuum all the cat hair off of the couch…

I had decided I was going to tackle this prompt last week only to end up being thwarted by it because of the sad fact that I do not keep up with the celebrity world, nor am I very good with movies.  Very few of the character slots I had written down were being populated by an appropriate actor… and then I realized one of my critters would be best played by a particular cartoon character.  That’s when a novel concept hit me and I realized I was going to have to shitcan what little I had already done and completely rethink how I was going to do this prompt…

Sorry, but this shitcan is occupied.

Sorry, but this shitcan is occupied.

So rather than cast real, human thespians for Evil Squirrel’s Nest: The Movie, I’m going to instead turn to a group of players I am much more familiar with and who won’t even have to be paid at SAG rates… fellow cartoon characters!  Now keep in mind, there’s even plenty of animated stars that I have little familiarity with… all those Fox primetime toons, the Cartoon Network stuff, and anything Nickelodeon aired after the 80’s… all of it is cartoona incognito to me.  But I was able to fill out my list reasonably well, and I limited myself to only one character from any particular cartoon series to make my cast more ethnically diverse and fucked up. So now, I present to you the all star cast of cartoon rejects who I’ve hijacked to star in my summer blockbuster!

Looks like this one's going straight to VHS.

Looks like this one’s going straight to VHS.

Yakko Warner as Evil Squirrel:

es yakko

One of the reasons I limited myself to one character per cartoon series is because I could have pretty much filled out my entire cast just from the mid 90’s masterpiece that was Animaniacs.  Yakko as the crazy eldest Warner sibling has the necessary skills on how to lead a cast full of misfit dumbasses, and is quite a smartass to boot.  Plus, we’ll need his famous “Goodnight everybody!” line when Buster starts talking about his bifurcated penis again…

Jessica Rabbit as MBRS:

mbrs jessica rabbit

This one would seem like an obvious fit (Although MBRS has a real life famous doppelganger as well).  One red headed seductress to play another, and each smoking hot babe seemingly hooked up with a real douchebag that’s too poor to be a sugar daddy.  MBRS isn’t really bad, she’s only drawn that way…

Cindy Lou Who as Angel:

angel cindy lou who

The cartoon world must be a really corrupt one, because I had a hell of a time thinking up someone to play my pure, innocent Angel.  Sure, there may be a bit of an age discrepancy between actress and role here, but since Angel has the mind of a five year old, Cindy shouldn’t have any trouble pulling her personality off.

Wile E. Coyote as Buster:

buster wile e coyote

While Buster’s mentor Kenny McCormick was considered for this role, we preferred Wile E.’s brand of bad karma and shitty luck when it came to playing our squishable possum.  Just as Buster has his fans on my blog who actually feel sorry for all of the death and mayhem I put him through, so do many Looney Tunes followers have a soft spot for Mr. Coyote’s many gruesome ends he meets while he is just trying to fucking catch some dinner.  Road Runner was an asshole…

Rainbow Dash as Rainbow Donkey:

rainbow donkey rainbow dash

Another case of seemingly obvious casting, although there is the genderswap problem.  Just like guys at the Globe Theater played all of Shakespeare’s sultry sirens while in drag, it has become trendy for chicks to turn the tables on male characters these days.  Just ask Rocky the Flying Squirrel, Bart Simpson and Peter Pan what it like to have the power of the vajayjay behind you.

Cleo as Hooly:

hooly cleo

When it comes to Hooly’s traits of being perky, popular and always in fashion… no cartoon character quite captured all of that like Riff Raff’s girlfriend Cleo.  Drawn to exceed the ideal of mid 80’s beauty, Cleo’s about the closest kids programming has ever come to sneaking a furry porn model by the censors, and would certainly help give our movie the sex appeal it would need to get that coveted PG-13 rating.

Daria Morgendorffer as Odyssey:

odyssey daria

We might have to up Daria’s excitement level to pull this off, but her square peg in a round hole world persona is a perfect match for Odyssey.  Her experience with malecritters like Beavis and Butthead will be a plus…

Alice in Wonderland as Hottie:

hottie alice

I really struggled to find a cartoon match for Hottie, but I think Alice could pull it off.  Both are natural blondes, kinda old fashioned, and are innocent pawns in a dangerous world full of creepy shit.  Hopefully we can at least get Alice to fake Hottie’s overly happy nature and make her smile by repeatedly saying “Eat me!” on the set…

Wilykit and Wilykat as Blaze and Sulphur:

blaze sully wilykit wilykat

Two troublemaking brother/sister twins deserve another similar set, and thankfully despite the fact that I’m apparently the only male who grew up during the 80’s who has zero recollection of the Thundercats cartoons, I do know this pair exists… and I’d swear there’s even a resemblance between the two feline mutants and my squirrel pups.  Better yet, more inexpensive child labor to add to the payroll!

Penfold as Robbie:

robbie penfold

It’s a shame more Americans aren’t aware of the epic British cartoon Danger Mouse that was a staple of Nickelodeon back in the 80’s, but we aim to give the one-eyed spy’s hapless hamster sidekick Penfold some more exposure by casting him to play The Nest’s hapless raccoon sidekick.  Hey, we don’t even have to break the budget on some prop glasses for him to look the part… bonus!

Pikachu as Pigladillo:

pigladillo pikachu

We all know that chicks dig the ‘dillo, so we need a really adorable ladies critter to realistically play Pigladillo in our screen adaptation.  Why not the world’s most famous Pokemon monster?  Both P-critters can melt your heart with just one look and are known to hang around unsavory characters who end up getting them into all kinds of trouble.

Sandy Cheeks as Sandy Squirrel:

sandy sandy

Because…. why not?  Sandy Cheeks already gets more searches here than anyone else but the xxxxxxxxxxxl guy, so she may as well officially incorporate herself into Evil Squirrel’s Nest lore and actually portray one of my characters…

Fred Jones as Clem:

clem fred

There are many smooth operators out there in the world of animation, but for a playa like our kangaroo Clem, we have to turn to biggest cartoon studmuffin of them all, Scooby Doo’s dickhead friend Fred.  Nobody was better at figuring out how to get some alone time with the ladies.  “Buster and Rainbow Donkey, you two go on a wild goose chase to find the elaborate system of pulleys and levers some bored bad guys are trying to use to scare people away from their hideout.  Me, MBRS and Hooly will go this way to that secluded back room and…. um, check some things out there.”  Stay thirsty, my friend…

Natasha Fatale as Skanki Skankova:

skanki natasha

We probably can’t give Skanki too big of a role in our movie without getting it confined to the back room of your local Redbox, but inserting our Russian borzoi into the film gives us a chance to borrow a Rocky and Bullwinkle character.  Or I guess we could always cast Fearless Leader as the Boss at Mecca…

Grumpy Bear as Nabob:

nabob grumpy bear

You’d think I’d have had a plethora of cartoon assholes to pick from to take on the part of my prickly Nabob, but most animated bad guys are just plain evil villains or misanthropes who through some shitty moral lesson learn to see the light.  Grumpy Bear would use his Care Bear magic to boot unruly kids off of his lawn and look awfully damn cute doing it.  Yep, that’s our Nabob!

Bam Bam Rubble as Wiki:

wiki bam bam

And finally, we need to make sure our movie is a hit with the kiddies.  Since I’m not licensed to use Jar Jar Binks’ image, we’ll have to bring in our hyena wildpup Wiki to lure the preteen set to a theater near you.  Bam Bam seems to have been born to play this role… and since Dinkum Island technology is on a par with that of prehistoric Bedrock, the transition should be seamless for our caveboy turned island native.

So, there you have the star-studded cast for Evil Squirrel’s Nest: The Movie.  Many thanks to Ally Bean for inspiring me to find the fictional characters my fictional characters fit the best!  Now, if you want to find out what ESN:TM might do as far as putting together a shitty plot before you waste your money and stand in line for four months waiting for the premiere… well, tune in next Friday and maybe I can throw one together!

I just love giving myself writing deadlines I know I'll never meet...

I just love giving myself writing deadlines I know I’ll never meet…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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37 Responses to Casting Acorns

  1. Great post……..well done……….know what? I’ve returned like 87 times to look at the photo of the squirrel coming out of the trashcan with “bun-lips” and it just cracks me up every time. This comment is not in the “pithy” category but I’m serious – that photo is hilarious.


  2. Holly says:

    Wow, some inspired choices there!

  3. Ally Bean says:

    This is wonderful. Your casting choices are perfect. Cindy Lou Who! Wile E. Coyote! Bam-Bam! This is an all-star cast that is sure to bring you the fame you deserve. Well done.

    • Thank you. This is why I love this series, because I was so sure I’d fail at this prompt when I first saw it… but that inspiration to turn it my way always seem to come around. It’s about time we have cartoon characters play other cartoon characters…

      • Ally Bean says:

        I didn’t write this prompt to stump you– and it didn’t. I agree that cartoon characters cast as cartoon characters is brilliant. Hollywood will be thrilled with the success of the movie.

  4. Perfect… except it will take me the rest of the day to recover from the cute overload.

  5. Quirky Girl says:

    Great cast! Anything featuring Rainbow Dash, Pikachu, and Bam Bam is destined to be a hit. 😀

  6. A bunch of these took me back down cartoon memory lane…Danger Mouse!! LOVE and heard he was back on the air, but only in the UK of course (extreme frowny face). Great choices dude.

    • Woohoo! I swear, it seems like the only thing most people remember off of Nick back in the 80’s was You Can’t Do That On Television, but there was so much more, and DM was one of my favorites!

  7. a1mamacat says:

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant

  8. gentlestitches says:

    Those are GREAT choices. 😀

  9. Good choices all. I too have a soft spot for Wile E. Coyote. Roadrunner got way too much credit and he was a mean little S.O.B. I always hoped Wile E. would catch him and bite his wise-ass head off.

  10. draliman says:

    Good choices (though I only recognised about half of the cartoon characters!). I especially like Penfold as Robbie. And Wile E Coyote is about as accident-prone and seemingly immortal as Buster!

  11. You had me at Jessica Rabbit but seriously good choices all round.

  12. I guessed it that Wile E. Coyote picked the ace of spades :o) I’m a fan of this poor guy and I once swore that I will shoot the roadrunner as soon as I get my gun licence :o)

    • All of those crazy Acme devices Wile E. always ordered, and he never thought to just buy a simple gun. Of course, poor thing would’ve probably just ended up shooting himself trying to load it…

  13. Merbear74 says:

    i miss Daria, she is my spirit cartoon.

  14. Trisha says:

    I couldn’t wait to see who you chose for Buster. I should have guessed Wile E. Coyote, with the frequent dying and all. The one that really cracked me up though was “Scooby Doo’s dickhead friend Fred.” So funny. This would make one hell of a fucked up fun movie!

    • What I found was really fun was when I was putting the side by side pictures together, because only then did I realize how well some of these pairings really fit together! Wile E. actually looks a bit like Buster… it must be in the genes!

  15. How on earth did you not know Thundercats?????

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