Make Me Laugh

Another satisfied Evil Squirrel's Nest reader.

Another satisfied Evil Squirrel’s Nest reader.

prompt logo 2The day you’ve been waiting literally all week for is finally here, Friday!  While Fridays aren’t quite as fun and action packed as they were a couple years ago on my blog, I still strive to make them as interesting as possible by opening up the forum to your very own suggestions in my Prompt the Squirrel series.  Barring any last second submissions by those who realized they’ve been left out, this will be the final month of PTS2.  Just five more reader-fed suggestions for me to agonize over all Thursday night long while the rest of the world is asleep or living in the Eastern Hemisphere.  We’re nearing that light at the end of the prompt tunnel…

And Cy Curnin from The Fixx is standing in our way.

And Cy Curnin from The Fixx is standing in our way.

This week’s prompt was submitted by longtime ESN reader Jaded, who I first encountered three years ago sharing Twindaddy’s old blog…. and you can now find her prose occasionally popping up on The Matticus Kingdom.  If I ever feel like the fucked up humor I post here is a complete waste of time and WordPress’ bandwidth, I just go back and find one of the many comments Jaded has left me in the past when she’s turned to my blog for a desperately needed escape.  Here is what she sent me…

You have made me laugh and even saved me from myself on so many occasions. Take us through what makes you laugh and your perfect (as much as it can be) day?

Well, killing possums always makes me laugh for a start...

Well, killing possums always makes me laugh for a start…

Any day where I am not bothered and can just laze around on my computer whenever I am not sleeping is about as perfect as a day can get for me.  I’m certainly not Mr. Excitement in real life, and having to trudge out the door for almost anything other than picking up some unhealthy fast food is generally not welcome in my routine.  Generally when something tries to take a bite out of my groove, it’s a doctor appointment for either me or my Dad.  The latter I try not to complain about, and the former makes me long for the good old days when I could go years without having to visit a damned doctor’s office and not have to check in like a parolee every three months just so I can get my life-sustaining blood pressure meds refilled…

Thanks for the mandatory $150 visit. See ya in 90 days, sucker!

Thanks for the mandatory $150 visit. See ya in 90 days, sucker!

Yeah, my perfect day is boring…. so let’s instead talk about what makes me laugh.

smashing smartphone

This would make me laugh…

As you might guess, I’m pretty easily amused.  I can laugh at things that are funny, not funny, absurd, stupid, gross, that makes no sense at all, or even that nobody else on earth would see humor in.  About a year ago, there was a question in one of those Share Your World challenges asking if there were any subjects or situations that you wouldn’t be able to find humor in at all.  Every blogger I read who answered that challenge listed their taboo for humor topics… mainly the same “serious” subjects.  My answer woulda been blank… which is fine so long as I remain in my own little world where I can laugh at whatever tickles my fancy with only my cats within earshot to act all offended.  It’s not because I’m uncaring, or tactless or just an asshole… my humor is usually the only comfortable way I can interact with people… even online where it’s much easier for me to be sociable.  If I can’t be funny, I just shut up.  This should explain my commenting habits on your blogs…

Every once in a while, I can be tempted to offer a ...

Every once in a while, I can be tempted to offer (((hugs)))…

Every family has its inside jokes that are fodder for passing away the time while you’re waiting for grandpa’s colonoscopy to be over.  The youngest of my four sisters shares my warped sense of humor, and it only takes one out of nowhere reference to something from when we were growing up to leave us cackling like a couple of drunk hyenas.  Generally, these bits and pieces of our past are otherwise forgettable and/or nonsensical lines from TV shows and movies we watched over and over back in the day.  We faithfully watched The Three Stooges shorts that aired every Saturday night when we were kids, and thirty years later still laugh our asses off anytime a situation warrants a great Stooges ref.  Like yesterday, when my Mom was showing me and littlest sis pics of the crappy horse she rode on her Colorado trip this past week, and I got the two of us rolling by comparing it to this…

Long live Seabiscuit!

Long live Seabiscuit!

Among the staple of comedic 80’s movies we watched a lot that can serve as a source of easy amusement to this day are “Clue,” “The Goonies,” “Trading Places,” “Spaceballs,” “Beetlejuice,” The “Police Academy” series, the “National Lampoon’s Vacation” 80’s trilogy, and even the exceptionally lame 1987 turkey “Mannequin.”  There’s a scene early in that movie where the ineptly unemployed Jonathan Switcher (Andrew McCarthy) saves the owner of a department store (Estelle Getty) from death by big-ass falling sign.  Wanting to give him a job, she takes Jonathan to the store’s manager Mr. Richards (who is secretly in cahoots with her biggest rival) and asks him to show Jonathan their gratitude…. to which Mr. Richards casually pulls out his wallet and mumbles “Well, five dollars should be enough.”  It’s far and away the most repeated movie line between me and little sis, coming out from one of us almost any time a small amount of money is involved in something, and somehow it never seems to get too old for us to snicker at… if it was ever even funny in the first place.

The second greatest moment in movie history involving a piece of US currency.

The second greatest moment in movie history involving a piece of US currency.

You know what else makes me laugh?  Me.  No, I’ve never flown my Lear Jet up to Nova Scotia before… but I am often my own biggest fan when it comes to my warped humor.  Even in the pre-internet days when I killed all the time I didn’t spend having a life drawing comics in notebooks, I’d always take time every once and a while to go back and read my old work.  If you can’t make yourself laugh, you probably aren’t going to be good at making others laugh.  And at least I don’t “Like” my own posts… though if you ever want a cheap laugh, try it sometime and see what happens…

Sparky likes his own posts, and everyone likes Sparky.

Sparky likes his own posts, and everyone likes Sparky.

And of course, I laugh at you all.  Well, that may not be the best way to phrase it, but you know what I mean.  While many of the bloggers I read aren’t all about entertainment and humor like I am, they still have sharp senses of humor that are uniquely their own… and easily amused me can usually eat it right up.  It’s an honor to be a part of such a talented group of people who never fail to rise to the occasion of entertaining the funny squirrel himself…

And who aren't afraid to slap the shit out of me whenever I need it.

And who aren’t afraid to slap the shit out of me whenever I need it.

All the world is a fucked up stage, and I’m glad I have the ability to laugh it all off while everything goes to hell in a tampon box.  I’m also glad to have been given this opportunity to talk about my so-called humor again, and thank Jaded for submitting this prompt!  I’ll be back next week with another reader suggestion that will hopefully make you laugh with me, and not at me…

Even if Mother Angelica thinks I'm going to Hell...

You’ll have all the time in the world to laugh when you go to HELL, heathen squirrel!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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21 Responses to Make Me Laugh

  1. that was great to read…. specially about our typical 80’s amusements :o) I have to admit that I put the Mannequin video on my birthday wishlist (I was veeeery young that time) and I also watched St. Elmos fire for Andrew McCarthy, I was a big fan for a while…

  2. Great post………really…….you gave us a peek at what makes you tick (eeek)……I too re-read my own stuff from time to time. I’ve probably read my own mystery novel about 50 times – it’s a complete mystery to me how I wrote it in the first place. LOL Seriously, this was great reading!


    • I often amaze myself at gags and observations I thought of when I originally wrote something that I’m positive wouldn’t have come to my mind now… though they pale in comparison to the number of ways I see I could have done it better. Still, we should all be our own best entertainer.

  3. Ally Bean says:

    Your day sounds like the stuff of an introvert’s dream. Lazy? Not be a long shot. Don’t let Mother Angelica tell you otherwise.

  4. Trisha says:

    Your perfect day sounds just like my perfect day. It always makes me feel better to know there are other people who try to avoid leaving the house if at all possible.

    It’s great you’ve got a family member that shares your sense of humor! My mom and I have always been like that only our laughter usually crops up at inappropriate times like graduations, weddings and funerals. It’s the littlest things that set us off, like someone’s inadvertent burp, a forgotten hair curler or a stray tag on someone’s dress.

    • Graduations, weddings and funerals are three more reasons for me to not want to leave the house! My well-known work schedule and anti-social behavior is usually good for getting me out of most of them…

    • That’s supposed to be well-known anti-social behavior… I threw in work schedule and forgot to move the modifier! If my work schedule was more well known, I wouldn’t keep getting stupid invitations for weekend events held during my naptime!

  5. ody & biskit…..grate post two day bye yur dad…frank lee in two dayz sew sigh a tee, humor seemz ta bee bare reed under an ever increasing in size… mountin oh shitz; et all…..its nice ta bee abe bull ta smile, giggle, laugh & we send high paws two yur dad for keepin hiz sense oh humor a live….

    & us smilin, giggle inn & laffin ~~~~~

    heerz two a flagfin happee 4th kinda week oh end…..see ya twooz day ♥♥♥

  6. I laugh at my own pain and misery. I will even laugh at yours, as long as I think it won’t make you feel bad. I hate hurting people, animals. Cruelty, meanness … they are my not funny things. I can’t help it. Garry and I have our own kind of humor which we know better than to use except among VERY close friends. Some of the things that I find not funny I find SO not funny that I try never to even think about them — even if I’m alone. The older I get the more stuff bothers me that once would not have bothered me. I’m not sure why.

    • I think we’re all that way… have our things we find funny among our crew that we’d never laugh about in front of others. I think it’s the main reason for my extreme introversion, since as I said, my humor is often the ONLY way I am comfortable communicating with people. So I often clam up around others rather than subject myself to unintentionally starting an international incident with someone…

  7. draliman says:

    There’s a guy at work I sometimes do the “TV/film lines” thing with too. Usually stuff from Red Dwarf, or relevant variations of the famous “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for” line.

    • I’ve only seen the original Star Wars movie once and have no recollection of that line, so I always laugh when I see it’s one of the most frequently referenced lines from the whole series. I can’t believe Jar Jar’s “How WUDE!” hasn’t caught on as well yet…

  8. Merbear74 says:

    I will always be here to slap the shit out of you when you need it. 🙂
    You and I are both twisted as hell, which is totally rad.

  9. Wouldn’t it be fun to do a whole post using one-liners, and see how many people get the references? You’ve got this, Babe!

  10. You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

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