The Rejects

Sorry Charlie.

Sorry Charlie.

In a continued attempt to come up with a new regular Friday feature to keep the smartass sarcasm flowing on a day when I should be posting every week, I brainstormed a lot of new ideas that seemed really great right up until the moment they left the moldy confines of my grey matter.  But hey, there’s no reason to have all of that brainpower go to waste by just washing it down the drain along with the pesticides and blood spatter…

I can't let PETA know what happens to possums here.

I can’t let PETA know what happens to possums here.

So I compiled some of the truly shittiest replacement ideas I came up with to present to you today in countdown form!  Since David Letterman probably has a worldwide pants patent on the intellectual property of the Top 10 list… to keep his lawyers from dragging my mangy tail to court, I’m proud to present today…..

The Top 13 Rejected Ideas For My Next Friday Series on Evil Squirrel’s Nest!

Alright, who wrote this shit?  Larry "Bud" Melman?

Alright, who wrote this shit? Larry “Bud” Melman?

Can I get a drum roll please, Hottie?

drum roll

Number Thirteen….. Friday Squirrels Gone Wild!

Get a nest, you two.

Get a nest, you two.

Number Twelve…. 101 Uses For Leftover Chileh

Chileh wrestling.... that should be a thing.

Chileh wrestling…. that should be a thing.

Number Eleven…. Make Me Barf!

It was either this or Toilet Cereal...

It was either this or Toilet Cereal

Number Ten…. Friday Fucked Up Pony Theatre

Actually...... this might be fun.

Actually…… this might be fun.

Number Nine…. Baseball Fridays!

The internet needs more photos of stadium scoreboards.

The internet really needs more photos of stadium scoreboards.

Number Eight…. Earworm Karaoke Night!

Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiii- Sing it with me, folks!  Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....

Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiii- Sing it with me, folks! Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…..

Number Seven…. Friday Rants By Chewy The Capybara

I really hate kids who won't share their ice cream and men who wear socks with flip flops.  Oh, and my balls itch.

I really hate kids who won’t share their ice cream and men who wear socks with flip flops. Oh, and my balls itch.

Number Six…. Fuck It Fridays!

Not to be confused with Fuck It February (FuYuBloMe).  Only six more months to get your laziness on!

Not to be confused with Fuck It February (FuYuBloMe). Only six more months to get your laziness on!

Number Five… Posts Loaded Up With Gratuitous Links To Try And Bait You Into Reading Some Of My Old Shit Fridays!

Yeah, you know you're curious as to where this image came from.

Yeah, you know you’re curious as to where this image of George Washington driving a car came from.

Number Four…. Uncle Evil’s Bedtime Stories For Young Children

Once upon a fucking time....

Once upon a fucking time….

Number Three…. My Millionaire Journey -The Rerun!

What a fantastic idea!  Let me warm up my singing voice...

What a fantastic idea! Let me warm up my singing voice…

Number Two…. Reblog Someone Else’s Awesome Post And Take All The Credit Fridays!

Also rejected as a new Friday series.... any kind of political talk.

Also rejected as a new Friday series…. any kind of political talk.

And the Number One Rejected Idea For My Next Friday Series On Evil Squirrel’s Nest Is………….

Totally Naked Fridays!

Sometimes you just gotta let it all air out...

Sometimes you just gotta let it all air out… if anything.

Well, that’s a good impression of what I won’t be considering to drag the quality of my blog even further into the septic tank.  Will I find regularity by next Friday?  There’s only one way to find out….

The shit will just keep on coming!

One thing’s for sure…. the shit will just keep on coming!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Squirrel Droppings and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to The Rejects

  1. Quirky Girl says:

    For me, it’s a tie between Reblog Someone Else’s Awesome Post And Take All The Credit Fridays, and Totally Naked Fridays. Both of these promise to be highly interesting. 😀

  2. Trisha says:

    Squirrels Gone Wild would be entertaining if only we saw more of their acts of vandalism and mischief. Sometimes it sounds like they’re rearranging my deck furniture but when I go out there all is calm. I think if I had a deck cam I could probably contribute quite a bit of material to Squirrels Gone Wild!

    I like the idea of Uncle Evil’s Bedtime Stories for Young Children too. That koala and the caption made me laugh out loud again. That’s an idea: Every Friday a new caption for the scary-ass killer koala! 🙂

    • Maybe a squirrel version of Jackass could come from that deck cam! I’m pretty sure that koala’s gonna be one of my go-to pictures in many future posts… I still have to look closely at it every time I see it to make sure it really is a cute little koala!

  3. Merbear74 says:

    You gave me the Fuck It Friday idea. Although I only do it occasionally. Cause, fuck it.

  4. ody & biskit…..frank lee we wood like ta heer bout yur dad winnin a bazillion dollarz ☺☺…N like who new koala could bee vizshuz !!!

    heerz two a ghost pipefish kinda week oh end ~~~ ♥♥♥

  5. Well, you made me laugh. Especially because tonight IS leftover chilleh night. But I made the chili and it’s pretty good, really. Or maybe I just think it is.

  6. there is a reason there isn’t chilleh wrestling, a very GOOD reason involving mucosal and I don’t just mean ears, nose, and eyes. LOL! 😀

  7. I like that the squirrels are still in woodstock mood :o) and now I know why Ken never was there… not enough in stock for woodstock :o)

  8. Gosh – so many choices…..so little time…..

    Pam

  9. draliman says:

    Number 12! Number 12! Two of my favourite things 🙂

  10. 1jaded1 says:

    #4 is #1 to me. Uncle Evil could do justice to any of the bedtime stories. Please consider that one? You can do it!

    #13 made me choke and laugh at the same time. The poor squirrel looks like she is sleeping. Omg.

  11. Ladybuggz says:

    Just Too Flipp’n Funny!! You gave me a good laugh !! I like the idea “Fucked Up Friday Fairy Tales”, Wrack your brains!! I know you can do it!! 🙂 T.

  12. I liked #4…but maybe it’s because I’ve been singing along to the children’s classic, Rippy the Gator, by the Arrogant Worms. And….cue song in my head…sigh…

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