rolls walks into a bar….
BASHFUL: Hey there, baby! Need someone to sit with you and help you drink all of this alcohol?
SPARKLEPONY: Ummmm…. no.
BASHFUL: So, what’s your sign?
SPARKLE: My sign is “No Trespassing!” Now go away…
BASHFUL: Can I buy you a drink?
SPARKLE: I’m good, thank you…
BASHFUL: How about one of my world famous free hugs?
SPARKLE: Look…. I don’t know what rock you crawled out from under, but you better leave me alone! I happen to be taken already (Shows off her 24 karat cubic zirconium ring from the Home Shopping Network).
BASHFUL: Aw, toots, I’ll bet he ain’t got nothing on me! I’m your knight in shining armor! Your artist formerly known as Prince Charming! I’m tall, dark and hand…. well, I’m dark and handsome anyway…
SPARKLE: I have a can of mace…
BASHFUL: Come on, Cutie Pie! I’m just the rock you need in your life! Why, if your man was here right now, I’d punch him right in the nose and win your sparkly heart!
RAINBOW DONKEY: Ahem…
RD: You bothering my wife over there?
BASHFUL: Wife? Oh, she’s YOUR wife? Geez, you’re…….. huge….. um…..
RD: I don’t appreciate it when hunks of concrete like you get fresh with my lady. I oughta take you down to the river right now and skip you out into the middle of the deep water.
BASHFUL: Oh dear…
RD: Or maybe I should get a jackhammer and break you up into little tiny pebbles and use you to fill potholes! Perhaps I should even send you on a one way trip back to the dark side of the moon…….. but I can’t.
BASHFUL: You…. what?
RD: I can’t because I’m a unicorn, and the bylaws set by the International Guild of Mythical Creatures states that a unicorn is never allowed to harm another living being under any circumstances.
BASHFUL: So you’re not going to murderlize me for flirting with your wife?
RD: Nope. Can’t do it.
BASHFUL: And you’re not going to lay a hoof on me if I just cozy on up to her and put my imaginary arm around her?
SPARKLE: HEY! Get your hand off of my…. Rainbow Donkey!!!! DO something about this!!!
RD: Sorry, dear. Not a thing I can do about it. Rules are rules…
BASHFUL: I can even give your wife a big ol’ smooch, and all you can do is watch me!
Bashful jumps on the counter and plants one on Sparklepony’s lips…
SPARKLE: (Spitting) Blech! Ick! You taste like moss mixed with vodka!!!
BASHFUL: And there’s no way you can stop me from bringing your pretty wife back to my apartment tonight so I can give her a, heh heh, “hard time!”
SPARKLE: Rainbow Donkey!!! If you don’t get this freak away from me….
RD: (Sigh) I must be a good unicorn.
BASHFUL: Ahhhh, the night is mine!
Or so Bashful though, until he heard a voice behind him….
SPONKIE 1: What are you doing to our Ma!?!?
BASHFUL: Hey, who let these little brats into this bar?
SPONKIE 2: We don’t take kindly to anyone who upsets our Ma and Pa!
BASHFUL: Aw, that’s just trash talk. If you two are this big lug’s children… then that means you’re both unicorns too, and are hereby banned from….
SPONKIE 1: We’re only HALF unicorn, Mr. Bashful.
BASHFUL: That doesn’t make any difference….
SPONKIE 2: And we’re also ALL Aussie. And nobody messes with an Aussie’s Mum and gets away with it!!!
SPONKIE 1: You tell ‘im, Sis! Let’s teach this little troublemaker a lesson about showing proper respect for other critters!
The two Sponkies get on either side of Bashul and use their combined horsepower to hoist Bashful up onto their shoulders.
BASHFUL: What are you two doing!?!? Put me down!!!! I’m going to file a complaint with the International House of Pancak…. er, Unicorns… er, whatever it’s called…… NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
The Sponkie twins toss the hot blooded Bashful right where he belongs…
SPONKIE 2: Good riddance to bad rubbish!
SPONKIE 1: I guess we better get back and help Pa get out of the doghouse he’s gonna end up in tonight…
BASHFUL: I sure hope this isn’t trash day….