BASHFUL: Oh, wow! I can’t believe I can really play Pokemon NO! with Evil Squirrel’s ancient cellphone! This is gonna be so much fun! As long as I don’t accidentally fall off the table or get run over by a stray unicorn….
Bashful is on the trail of small, imaginary anime monsters from the 90’s… and it isn’t long before he encounters his first Pokemon!
BASHFUL: Oh boy!!! I found a Pokemon! I win!!!! Now to catch another one…
UMBREON: (Snickering) FOUND a Pokemon…. yes, I guess you have. But CAUGHT a Pokemon…. I don’t think so.
BASHFUL: You haven’t seen my mad Pokemon wrangling skills yet, Dumbreon! You’re as good as in my Pokejail!
UMBREON: The rock vastly underestimates me. I guess not all shiny black creatures can be as clever and crafty as I am.
BASHFUL: Oh, and what talents do you have besides glowing in the dark and helping out in the event of a power outage?
UMBREON: Well, I’m a certified ninja for one thing. I’m so fast and stealthy that I’ll bet….
The Umbreon disappears from sight in mid-sentence!
BASHFUL: What the…!?!? Hey, where did MY Pokemon go!?!? Come back, glowstick!!!!
UMBREON: ….you’ll never even see me move behind you like this!
BASHFUL: (Turning around in awe to the Umbreon that somehow reappeared right behind his back) Holy Gibralter! How did you do that!?!?
UMBREON: It’s easy, my friend. We Umbreons have a knack for disappearing and reappearing at will. I also happen to be an expert shapeshifter.
BASHFUL: A shape…… what!?!?
UMBREON: Shapeshifters can form their bodies into anything they so desire with no more than thinking about what they want to become. For instance….
The Umbreon suddenly takes the form of….
GOLDEN SQUIRREL: …a squirrel made of pure, 24 and a half karat gold!
BASHFUL: That’s AMAZING!!! And I’d bet you’d fetch a pretty penny down at the pawn shop….
GOLDEN SQUIRREL: Or maybe I’d like to become….
BASHFUL: A Care Bear? Really? How lame can you get?
BRIGHTHEART RACCOON: A Care Bear Cousin, to be exact. Sharing is caring, and all of that shit…
BASHFUL: You can do better than that…… how about….
BRIGHTHEART: Don’t say it….. my telepathy is telling me you’d like me to become….
RAINBOW DONKEY: …a rainbow unicorn!!!
BASHFUL: Actually…… I was kinda hoping for a couple of really hot chicks. Twins would be nice! Think you could accommodate me there, Shiftshaper Boy?
RD: I find your appreciation of my mystical powers to be utterly trite and appalling…
The Umbreon reforms back into his Pokemon self….
BASHFUL: Awwwwww, dang it. Maybe I was too greedy….. OK, just one chick? Moderately good looking?
UMBREON: The sideshow is over with. You aren’t worth the display of my special abilities. I’ll be leaving now….
BASHFUL: Oh no you don’t!!!
BASHFUL: You may have distracted me for a bit with all of that crazy hocus pocus, but you’re still MY Pokemon that I intend to capture with this Pokeball!
UMBREON: Huh…. that is NOT a Pokeball, foolish rock.
BASHFUL: I don’t care if it’s a Pokeball or not! All I know is this ball has YOUR fluorescent face written all over it! Prepare to be MINE, Umbreon!
Bashful throws the Pokeball at the arrogant Umbreon with all of his rock-given might…..
BASHFUL: Ummmmmm………… what?
RAINY: Mr. Bashful…….. you just NEVER learn, do you?
BASHFUL: This is SO not fair, Umbreon! This is SO NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UMBREON: (Evilly cackling) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Now…….. who’s next?
Maybe Bashful can explain to us at the Ranch what the big deal is with Pokemon. We didn’t get it in the 90’s and the passage of time hasn’t helped clarify anything about it either. 😦
Well, they are cute and………. that’s about it. Oh, and they make a lot of money for whoever owns their rights in collectible merchandise… including from suckers like me who paid $12 for Bashful’s tormentor yesterday!
Ahhhh, so that’s it?! Now I’m getting it.
Love your dedication to bashful and his stories!
Thanks! These have been a blast to put together….
Not as much as they have been a blast to read.
ody & biskit….noe joke……de place wear de food servizz gurl werkz izza pokemon go stop ore what ever they iz called……noe one heer new it for a wee while N we thinked peepulz waz stoppin heer ta steel R WI FI connect ☺☺☺♥♥♥
It’s a vast conspiracy on the part of Pokemon to control the entire internet! I think Ody and Biskit would take care of any that got into the house…
I think by the time Pokemon became BIG I was already past the age when this would be my thing. Or, possibly, it’s just not me. I know when my granddaughter was growing up, she collected the cards, but she was more into Barbi than Poke-MON. I think I’m missing the “fad” gene. I never seem to “get it,” whatever IT may be.
My nephews used to play the Pokemon card game when they were little….. like, maybe 5 or 6. I didn’t understand it, and it looked more complicated than any other card game I’ve ever played. I guess never underestimate small children…
I was hoping Bashful would hit the Pokémon in the head. My oldest son used to watch all the videos (we had a ton of them on VHS tape). Boy, I got so tired of them. I didn’t get it fifteen years ago. I still don’t.
Some things are just strictly aimed at children (or overgrown children), and there’s no rational way to justify its existence for adults…
I was waiting all the way through until that weird thing with the crazy ears turned into Rainy…
You are on to me! It’s almost like knowing when Buster is going to meet some untimely end…
Would you believe I absolutely never did the Pokémon thing? Well, that’s because I’m older than dirt I suppose but I gather it was a BIG DEAL.
I don’t think you are missing out on much…. other than mischievous Pokemon and oncoming trucks…
Living near Washington, DC we dodge trucks on a daily basis anyway……. 🙂
OMP! I did the Pokemon one time. I got lost in my magical back yard in the middle of the night. It wasn’t fun, trust me. My poor rock will *never* learn will he? I really need to have a talk with him when he gets home. And you know Evil – I saw those Animal Crackers – yummers! XOXO – Bacon
I hope Bashful hasn’t been eating any of those animal crackers! They’re…… just a little expired. They’re so old, there’s crackers in the shape of a dinosaur and a dodo in there….
Snorts with piggy laughter. See you need me there at your casa. I would take care of your excess food… you know just to help you out. XOXO – Bacon
Reblogged this on Piglove and commented:
Has the Pokemon craze hit Bashful… literally?? XOXO – Bacon
I’ve never been into Pokemon but seeing this riveting example of what one can do while under the influence of Pokemon, I admit I might have sold the whole franchise short.
It should be noted that both Bashful and the Umbreon are trained, professional stuntcritters, and at no point should anyone attempt to recreate the scenes on my blog without proper parental supervision and/or someone to record it for YouTube purposes…
OMG, I had that exact Care Bear cousin! I never had an actual Care Bear, so when my aunt bought me that raccoon, I was pretty excited. But I have no idea whatever happened to him…
Brightheart Raccoon was always my favorite! Yes, I realize boys weren’t supposed to have favorite Care Bears, but I did….
It’s perfectly ok. I know at least several other boys who also had Care Bears. 😉