Ohio Bass

Because you just can't get enough of the cornholing guy...

Because you just can’t get enough of the cornholing guy…

Now that the contest is over, it’s time to get back to the regular old boring routine you’ve grown to tolerate on The Nest.  That means there should be music in the air and a lost song in your heart, because it’s Monday and that’s the day we exhume the remains of another musical Lazarus that got confined well before its time to the gold record graveyard we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s ready to drop the life support needle on another buried classic that the Sponkies found while they were digging for dinosaur bones out back again….

dusty vinyl

Not many of the bands that emerged from Britain’s punk rock movement of the late 70’s gained a whole lot of exposure an ocean away in the States, but one that was just rock enough to make an impression on mainstream American was an outfit called The Pretenders.  A harder edged version of Blondie, The Pretenders were fronted by Ohio born and raised Chrissie Hynde… who had moved to London in the mid 70’s just in time for their rock revolution.  Despite losing half of its membership early on due to lethal drug overdoses, the group nevertheless managed to stay relevant throughout the entire 1980’s…

angel mbrs stoned

There is nothing pretend about taking drugs, kids!

Shortly after replacing the two members who doped themselves into an early grave, the updated version of The Pretenders released what would become their breakthrough single in 1982, “Back on the Chain Gang.”  That song made it to #5 on the Hot 100, and is still pretty well known today.  But the B-side of that single was pretty damned good as well, and made an impression on the New Wave sound of the 80’s despite not becoming a pop hit at all.  Let’s have a listen to Chrissie’s unflattering tribute to her old stomping grounds, “My City Was Gone”…

The most recognizable part of this song is that kickass, awesome bass riff that drives it from intro to fade out.  Not enough pure rock and roll songs feature a prominent bass line like that, preferring instead to drown out the efforts of the poor bass player with headache inducing wailing guitars, screeching vocals and massive drums… and that’s a shame.  “My City Was Gone” chronicles the disappointment Hynde felt when she returned to Ohio in the 80’s and saw how “progress” had changed things for the worse.  Hell, she even got a dig in at “muzak” back in the day when muzak really was shitty, pussified background schlock nobody really wanted to listen to…

Thanks for ruining every shopping trip back in the day... and probably Ohio too.

Thanks for ruining every shopping trip back in the day… and probably Ohio too.

But that bass line….. damn, it’s good.  In fact, so good that even ultra-conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh had to lift it as the theme for his radio show when he was first starting out in the mid 80’s.  This despite the fact that you may not find two people more diametrically opposite each other on the political spectrum than Hynde and Limbaugh were.  In typical Rush fashion, he eventually bragged about how the riff that would become as associated with him as it would The Pretenders was helping promote his talk show that was against everything the song and its artist stood for.  That’s when The Pretenders’ label EMI stepped in to shake down the fat man and issue a cease and desist order against him using “My City Was Gone’s” intro anymore…

I couldn't find an image of Mr. Limbaugh, but this picture of an exploding dirigible is pretty close.

I couldn’t find an image of Mr. Limbaugh, but this picture of an exploding dirigible is pretty close.

But this story ends with a tale of strange bedfellows…as Hynde eventually agreed to allow Limbaugh to continue using the song…… for a not-so-insignificant fee.  Which she promptly donated to PETA in his name.  So Limbaugh got to keep his borrowed bass line, Hynde got to feel good about getting a conservative to support a liberal cause, and PETA got a cash infusion to put more naked protester chicks out on the street for our viewing pleasure.  I guess that’s a win/win/win for everyone….

Great! Now you're making me want to eat meat even more!

Sorry, you’re just making me want to eat meat even more…

I’ll be back with another lost song to stir up the shit next Monday….


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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27 Responses to Ohio Bass

  1. I liked them very much… and I lover her draggin’ my heart around song with stevie nicks :o)

  2. My husband would approve. He still has a strong passion for naked chicks out on the street. They improve his viewing experience.

    • If they ever want to make an old dilapidated urban area look good again, it could never hurt to add some naked chicks to the streets for curb appeal. Body paint optional…

  3. Always a great tune, but can I just say, Chrissy used to scare the Be-Jesus outa me? She had an air of being one bad-a$$ girl. Maybe it was the solemn face and bottled-black hair. Your dirigible explosion image was a truly perfect visual metaphor for the gold-mic’d bloviator.

  4. Piglove says:

    Lord have mercy my evil friend. More than the song, daddy had to explain the meat on the street. Shaking my head. Dad gave me ‘that talk’ again. WOW! Now I have pictures. Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. XOXO – Bacon

  5. Trisha says:

    That is a damn good bass line.

    The lyrics made me think of how my old stomping grounds are gone too, the magical forest of Narnia turned into a trashy trailer park that the locals call Wayne’s World. It would make a good song but would probably better suited to something with banjos.

    • You made me laugh with the banjos line, which was why I Liked this comment while I was trying to catch up on blog reading! You could really write a more fucked up version of this song since your old hometown eschewed shopping malls and parking lots for a fancy schmancy trailer park! Now that’s improving the quality of life for everyone…

      • Trisha says:

        Sometime I’ll have to share the last sordid tale I heard from that fancy, schmancy trailer park. Now that I think about it, all the banjo music I’ve heard (and I’ve heard a bit because my dad plays the banjo) is way too classy to tell the tales of Wayne’s World!

  6. Ally Bean says:

    I didn’t know any of this. Not a collaboration I’d expect. The things I learn here.

  7. ghostmmnc says:

    The bass on this song is great! I tend to always listen for the bass on all songs, as that’s my favorite. I even had a bass guitar long ago. 🙂

  8. ody & biskit !!!! rememburr this song….. N love it ~~~ thanx for de flash bak 🙂 ♥♥♥

  9. Oh yeah…………this was a goodie and not just that bass…..Chrissie Hynde may have been an “interesting character” but her voice had a wild range and she knew what she was doing….The Pretenders didn’t have to pretend…they were actually good.


  10. Quirky Girl says:

    Despite the fact that I’m a vegetarian and find all meat to be repulsive, I can’t help but feel extra nauseated by the thought of eating something’s ass. I mean, rump. Yuck!

    • I generally do not like to know where my food came from. It might be funny if there was some truth in labeling law that required meat packers to label butt cuts as “ASS”…

  11. Love the picture of Rush, by the way. My husband listens to him, and I always hated that big bag of wind (Rush, not my husband!).

    • Anyone who talks just to hear themselves talk is not going to be a favorite of mine. And sadly, there are people who are like that on the internet too who can be obnoxious without ever having to open their mouth…

  12. Ladybuggz says:

    I agree, great blow up of that arrogant Rush….Love the Pretenders! good song ES 🙂

  13. draliman says:

    Yay for PETA! Not sure what they stand for any more but I heartily approve of their choice of protester. If I can manage to offend them in some way maybe they’ll come protest round at mine.

    I actually always thought The Pretenders was an American band. I used to listen to them all the time during my walk into university in my second year (the off-campus year).

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