Don’t Cry

I’m sorry…. (sniff!) peeling earworms always make me cry.

Have you got another case of the Monday blues?  Well, cheer up because you’re at The Nest, and that means you’re just in time for us to take a sledgehammer to the childproof cap atop that skinny orange bottle of musical Prozac we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  Dr. DJ Scratchy’s got the prescription to cure your aching ears and distracted mind, while the Sponkies are checking out your insurance plan to see if this dose of musical therapy will be covered or not.  Better bend over, this rock and roll time capsule can’t be taken orally…

Love is the emotion that launched a thousand recording sessions.  That most illogical of human conditions is responsible for an unbelievable amount of the material that has been heard on the radio since it was invented by Macaroni…. er, Macarena….. er, Marconi.  You can find songs for just about every stage and strain of the love cycle… boy meets girl, boy wants girl, girl wants boy back, boy’s moving away from girl, girl’s daddy doesn’t want his princess being with boy from the poor side of town, boy’s stalking girl and might end up arrested…

She’s just not into tantric sex, Sting…

But sometimes the best songs come about when boy and girl can no longer stand each other and break up on acrimonious terms.  There really isn’t much for me to say about songwriter and guitarist Martin Briley, whose nondescript career led to a thoroughly boring and vanilla Wikipedia page.  Despite mainly being a session and touring musician for bigger and better names in the industry, Briley was given a contract to record some stuff on his own in the early 80’s… and one of his songs actually managed to eke into the countdown at #36 on the US Hot 100 in 1983.  And that hit is criminally under-ranked in my opinion, because this lost classic is an anti-love asskicker.  Here’s Martin Briley’s magnum opus “Salt in My Tears”…

Making a great song even better is the clever and hilarious music video that accompanied it.  In the early days of MTV, only the real big shots in the music business were generally given the budget by their record companies to shoot extravagant and well thought out videos that didn’t look like they were being directed by a middle school drama club.  You can bet the unproven Briley didn’t get much of a financial leash for making a video to accompany a semi-hit song… but damned if he didn’t make the most of what little he had to work with.  By 1983’s standards, this is a very well put together and enjoyable music video to watch!

Let’s see….. how can we best make use of the $9.99 we’ve been allotted by Mercury Records…

We get to watch Briley’s thoroughly bitchy former love interest clean him out in dramatic style with the help of one shady looking lawyer and a pair of slightly-too-chummy movers.  This girl’s taking no prisoners in her attempt to make Martin’s life just a little less pleasant and material.  I sure hope the sex was good enough to justify dealing with this…

Jesus Christ, lady! Could you at least let him finish his song before you take him to the cleaners?

Come back next week and I’ll have another song that proves all’s fair in love and war, assuming the bitch doesn’t up and leave with the Dusty Vinyl Archive too…

And STAY OUT!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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23 Responses to Don’t Cry

  1. Merbear74 says:

    And she’s flirting with the movers right in front of the poor dude.
    He should have made her sign a prenup,

  2. it is… this song deserved the within the top ten… but maybe all this synthesizer stuff made the people deaf and therefore the ranking was so low….

  3. Quirky Girl says:

    I have to say it- That horrible Sting song (I’ll Be Watching You) always gives me the creeps.

    “Every breath you take
    Every move you make
    Every bond you break
    Every step you take
    I’ll be watching you”

    Seriously? Ewwww.

  4. Trisha says:

    Well, at least she left him the couch. I expected him to be dumped onto the floor at the end. This video reminds me of my father-in-law’s story about when his second wife left him. She even took all the light bulbs!

    I don’t remember this song at all but is it a good one to chase away the Monday blues.

  5. ody & biskit….heerz one we haz knot hurd of; N de P.O.S. pea cee’z sound iz off sew we will hafta chex thiz out on de i fone later !!! ♥♥ 🙂

  6. Ah, the joys of divorce. That glorious fantasy of backing over the body, the driving forward one last time … Oh never mind. I’ve gotten over it. No, really, I have.

  7. Love the video and the song sounds familiar – kinda – but you know for a while there, they all sounded a lot alike. As for Sting’s “stalker song”…….while it was a little creepy in its’ obsessional (is that a word?) inclinations, I liked the music a LOT. This one came out about the time I was separating from hubby #1……so there are “those” memories attached to hearing it.

    Pam

    • I didn’t even realize when I included the “Every Breath You Take” blurb that these two songs were both out at the same time. In fact, I just looked it up the chart for when Briley’s song peaked at #36 (7/30/1983), and there’s ol’ Sting and his stalker song at Number One! It’s a small world, even musically!

  8. Ladybuggz says:

    Thanks for planting the “Stalker” ear worm, now I can’t get him/song out of my head (Yuck)! Can’t say I’ve ever heard Brilely’s song..not bad for back then!

    • It’s apparently more of a local favorite than I thought, but one that should have been bigger. It was straight up rock in an era that was dominated by new wave and light rock…

  9. draliman says:

    At least she didn’t take his guitar so he was able to finish the song.

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