The Mother Of All Days

My Mom is awesome! She gives me possumback rides!

Mothers Day falls on a Sunday every year, which is a day I generally don’t post (You know, kinda like Thursdays have become).  So other than the odd sappy tribute that I absolutely hate doing, I generally don’t acknowledge this special day on my blog.  Which is a shame since my Mom is the only relative of mine who faithfully reads (almost) everything I post here.  My sisters apparently have better taste…

So to celebrate Mothers Day in the typically fucked up way of The Nest… here’s a rerun of one of my favorite scenes from what is probably my personal favorite of the 21 Shelf Critter Theatre episodes I’ve posted here.  Here is the dramatic conclusion to “Superstition Ain’t The Way” which was originally posted this past January on Friday the 13th…


SPONKIE 1: Crikey!  What was that!?!?

SPONKIE 2: It sounded like………. Mom!?!?!?

SPONKIE 2: MOMMY!!!!  What’s the matter!?!?

SPARKLEPONY: I was just sitting here watching Real Housewives of Tittybong when my back gave out on me.  I think it’s broken…

SPONKIE 1: Ma!  No!!!!  How did that happen???

SPARKLEPONY: One of you must’ve just stepped on a sidewalk crack.  I warned you all to watch where you walk when you go outside… but do either of you care for your poor mother who slaved her life away to raise her two children?  Nope, not my ungrateful little spawn…

SPONKIE 2: Mom!  We’re sorry!!!!  We thought that was just an old wives tale!

SPARKLEPONY: Well, now you know better, don’t you….

Snuggle Bear rolls up with the truck for the glue factory…

SPARKLEPONY: Well, it looks like this is the end of the line…. goodbye, my Sponkies!

SPONKIE 1: NO!!!!!  Don’t take our Mommy away!!!

Snuggle scoops up the broken pony to deliver her to her final destination….

SPARKLEPONY: (Being shoveled off) Tell Daddy I love him, and don’t forget to wash behind your ears!

Both Sponkies are in tears at the sad scene playing out before them….

SPONKIE 1: Dad!!!  We’re sorry!

SPONKIE 2: We didn’t mean to hurt our Mommy!

RD: It’s alright, kiddies.  She wasn’t a unicorn, so your Mom was bound to run into some bad luck eventually.

SPONKIE 1: But Dad!  This is unlucky for all of us!  Even you!

RD: Me?  Naw, I told you unicorns are naturally lucky.  And this is most definitely my lucky day!

SPONKIE 2: What are you talking about Daddy!?!!?

RD: Meet your new stepmother…

SPONKIE 2: Father!!!!!  You can’t replace Mommy with some bimbo!

RD: Now now…. show some respect for your new mother.

MITZI: Yeah, like… I’m a Mommy now!  Who needs breastfed?

Sponkie 2 slaps her brother’s hoof down and flashes him a stern look.

SPONKIE 2: This isn’t right, Daddy!  I don’t want to be living with some plastic trophy bimbocorn pretending to be my mother!  I want my Mommy back!

MITZI: Awwww, little grrl!  All you had to do was ask!  I’ve got your Mommy right here in my Cucci purse….

SPONKIE 2: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Happy Mothers Day to all of you fine mothers (and stepmothers) out there!  Especially the one whose fucked up sense of humor was successfully passed along to her already strange firstborn son….

Advertisements

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Squirrel Droppings and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to The Mother Of All Days

  1. Don’t fur-get, mom’s to critters come in different genders. Happy Mum’s Day to you as well!

  2. Merbear74 says:

    My mom is the only family member who reads my blog too. For the most part. She skips anything pertaining to sex.

  3. Now THAT is a great Mother’s Day post! I’m sure it’ll make mom’s heart just sparkle. My son called me and we actually had a conversation. Mother’s Day. Yay.

  4. So you blame your Mom for the interesting “BEND” in your sense of humor? Hmm…..I never stopped to think where mine came from but it may have been the mailman.

    Pam

    • I actually get it from both sides…. though definitely not past the parent level. My grandparents never struck me as the goofy humor type. Maybe my mom and dad were both adopted….

  5. fanrosa says:

    Her first born son? How about her last born son???

  6. draliman says:

    Aw, what a sweet Mother’s Day tribute (which was in March over here).

    • I don’t think the American retail conglomerate would allow for that…. it would conflict with Easter sales. Mothers Day and Fathers Day are both located outside of the domain of the Big Five retail holidays (July to April), and I’ll bet that isn’t a coincidence!

  7. Trisha says:

    After a long day of delivering cards and gifts to our moms, I feel ready to join poor Sparkle Pony at the glue factory. I really hate special days. They’re just so damn tiring.

Jabber Away...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s