Holy Hot Dog!

There are worse jobs than dressing up as a hot dog. Like being the person who has to escort the hot dog.

Welcome to the Wednesday feature I seem to do only when I feel like it now, Picture Day at The Nest!  Inspired by one of the comments on yesterday’s A to Z post that paid tribute to the strange letter aitch, I decided to dig out one of the deeply buried “treasures” of my critter populated shelf that I’ve never allowed to star on my blog before.

The title of this post was the exact exclamation made by Quirky Girl in response to the photo you see above of a rather awkward looking hot dog mascot I took a picture of at Progressive Field in 2009.  Onion, as she is called (Yes, there are female hot dogs you know), is one of the three anthropomorphic hot dogs that race (or raced, I have no idea if they still do it) at Cleveland Indians games.  If you’ve gone to a professional sporting event over the past two decades or so, you’ve probably encountered those booths on the concourse where for the small price of providing your personal information on a card (which would never be used to put you on a junk mail marketing list of course!), you can win some really tacky gift.  I gave a bunch of fake information did that before one of the games I saw there and walked away with this…

If this isn’t an oddball, I don’t know what is.

That is the stuffie version of Onion, and as you can see on her right arm, she even carries the purse Quirky Girl took note of that no doubt contains pictures of her little Vienna sausages, ketchup and mustard makeup, and assorted bun-length feminine hygiene products.  So what does our wienerette look like from the back, you’re wondering….

This glorified chew toy is sponsored by Sugardale, makers of fine quality mixed-species meats.

Other than being, well…….. too weird for even The Nest, the fact that she’s difficult to have sit upright is among the reasons you’ll probably never see her in a future episode of Shelf Critter Theatre.  Well, that and the reality that I employ too many creepy, predatory critters who might want to do more than just nibble on her ends…

Hey there, sweat meat! Mind if I put my hot dog in your bun?

Damn, I actually miss putting together those fucked up SCT’s….

Sorry, dude, but I’m kinda hogging the stage right now.

I may or may not have another plump and juicy photo for you to eat up next Wednesday….


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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23 Responses to Holy Hot Dog!

  1. I was Polly Pocket once at a toy fair … maybe that was the moment I decided I don’t want kids…

  2. draliman says:

    She could give Mitzi a run for her money, I bet. The real reason she’s not in SCT is because of that pesky exclusivity clause Mitzi has…

  3. JackieP says:

    That’s just…..strange. lol My dog Sam would love to get to know her. 😉

  4. Merbear74 says:

    She looks like a hussy and we already know she loves cornholes…

  5. ghostmmnc says:

    I made a hot dog costume for my dog once, for Halloween.She looked cute, though…not creepy! haha

  6. But she lies DOWN really well, so maybe she can be a permanent victim. You could just keep killing her. Oh, wait, you’re already doing that. Okay, so kill TWO of them.

  7. Hmmm…let’s hope your team at least won the game on that day. ⚾️

    • I didn’t have a team playing that day, but sadly for Onion, her Indians got destroyed in both games I saw there. In fact, Cleveland gets beat almost every time I see them play. Maybe they gave me that “thing” to discourage me from ever coming to the ballpark again…

  8. Piglove says:

    Snorts with piggy laughter. We knew of a guy who used to dress up like Chucky at the kid restaurant Chucky Cheese. It was hilarious. He said kids would come in all of the time, beat him up and knock him down. He used to come home beaten all of the time. Of course my dad being the sick person he is used to think it was hilarious. Shaking my head. My dad is a sick person who is now craving a hot dog. It better be a beef hot dog is all I gotta say. XOXO – Bacon

    • Imagine being one of the cartoon characters at a theme park with THOUSANDS of misbehaved kids terrorizing you for hours each day! Just wait until Mickey Mouse starts fighting back!

  9. Ladybuggz says:

    Who is responsible for naming her “Onion”?? that’s just too Weird!, I’d name her “Miss Chunks”! Use her dude! use her!

  10. 1jaded1 says:

    Snuggle and Onion..Match made in…creepyville. Yikes.

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