Welcome To The 2010’s!

Pretty and shiny… at least until I fill it full of food crumbs.

Almost eight and a half years ago I moved into my little nest and bought myself the very latest in both desktop and laptop technology to ensure that I would never have to actually go outside into that big, frightening world to find entertainment.  I am still using those two machines I purchased in the Spring of 2009 today, and needless to say, the technology of the 21st Century doesn’t age very well.  Both computers are very slow to start up and run, trying to slog along with outdated programs and operating systems that no longer want to work with some of the fancy schancy stuff on the internet…

That led me to finally purchase the little laptop you see above this past Thursday.  It’s wonderful to be able to watch videos and play games now without them looking and sounding like an episode of Max Headroom!

Not that there’s anyth-th-th-thing wrrrrrrrong with Max Headroom.

Both of my ’09 relics run Windows Vista, which I believe went out of style shortly after I got them hooked up.  Since it is the Vista layout I have exclusively used for the past 100+ months, trying to get used to the stupid Windows 10 OS in the new laptop is not going over easy.  And thankfully, that bitch Cortana finally shut the hell up once she took me through the approximately 36 hour process of setting up my new laptop.

I have no idea what Cortana is supposed to look like, so I’ll just use this screenshot from an old Brim coffee commercial to represent her fucking mouth.

Because I generally have the various websites I frequent keep me logged in, I haven’t had to enter my name and password into many of them in a very long time.  That’s making the process of getting access on my new play toy to things like my email, fantasy baseball site, and of course this blog a tremendous pain in the ass since I’m never quite sure which username/password combination I actually have for each site.  If I ever stop posting here or making snarky comments on your blog, it probably has nothing to do with my well being and everything to do with the fact that it’s probably easier for hackers to figure out my WordPress password than it is for me to remember it…

I should just start using the Mel Brooks luggage combination…

It is a pretty cool gadget, though, with crystal clear graphics, sound, and even a touch screen.  It’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to having a smartphone, and since it’s pretty compact, I may even take it with me to my next three hour long doctor appointment….. to hit the doctor with for making me wait, of course.


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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32 Responses to Welcome To The 2010’s!

  1. Congratulations on your new acquisition! Certainly will make those long waits at the doctor’s office more entertaining (even better than watching all the other “waiters” blow their noses or fall asleep).


  2. draliman says:

    Yay, welcome to the modern age! Vista was rubbish even when it was released.
    I’m glad you didn’t actually share the Spaceballs air shield/luggage combination as I use it everywhere…

    • I’ve spent more of my internet life on Vista than any other platform. I will miss it (sniff!)…. actually, I won’t miss it because I still use the ol’ desktop more than anything.

      Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone your combination is 1-2-3-4-5….

  3. congrats!!! I love the color… that’s much more important than ram’s (who wants a sheep in da laptop?) and bity and bytes and all that crap… and I promised myself ,my next laptop has the most fabulous color, no matter what’s inside ;O)

  4. Ally Bean says:

    That’s one spiffy electronic device you got there. Nice that you picked the color red, it’ll hide the blood stain from when you hit the doc with it.

  5. Merbear74 says:

    We have no choice but to get with the program, ES. The next thing you need is a smartphone so you can read blog whilst you poo.

  6. Trisha says:

    Nice! I wish I had bought a laptop instead of a tablet a few years ago. I absolutely hate virtual keyboards. People said, “you’ll love it once you get used to it!” They were wrong. I still hate it. I would do a lot more writing and blogging if I had a laptop and didn’t have to use my ancient desktop. (It runs Windows 7, so it’s just slightly newer than your old one.)

    I don’t envy you all the set-up though. Typing in passwords is such a pain. I hope you get through all that soon so you can enjoy your new toy. It’s really pretty. I like the red!

    • Virtual keyboards are nothing but digital ass! I don’t know how texters can do it…. it takes me half an hour to type in my seven letter user ID on the stupid smartphone-modeled scanners we have at work now!

  7. You can make Cortana useful if you actually follow this. Remarkably, it worked. Cortana is right up there with the old dancing paper clip for “helpful.” I think it may be an actually child of the dancing paper clip.


    • Cortana has kept her mouth shut since the second time I turned it on. I guess she realized I wasn’t interested in what she had to say…. or maybe she heard the epithets I was hurling at her when she kept rambling on during set up…

  8. franhunne4u says:

    If you have your e-mail-passwords in mind you can get new passwords for WordPress and all other sites you keep being logged in. I had the same problem last year when my old laptop just stopped working.

    • I actually couldn’t get the email password right either, which is weird since I do occasionally get prompted for that even with the cookies on my old computers. I finally figured out where I was wrong on it and WordPress… though for right now, I’m not using the new laptop for much else other than games.

  9. Congrats on the new technology. With sympathies for having to go through the cluster of sign-ons. Nothing worse than being out maneuvered by a fresh clean slate with no ‘cookies.’

    • And even after messing around with the options in Firefox, I still can’t get my new laptop to keep my login cookies between uses! At least I have it remembering my passwords now so that logging back in isn’t as much of a pain…

      • Eek. The Microsoft gods must really dislike you if the cookies disappear. I finally had to create the old time version of backup-paper…where I keep all the important passwords noted. Good luck!

  10. Nice! I like the color too. Ohhhhh Ahhhhhh. Seriously nice.
    Don’t be like me and watch for cords, things that spill, and cats. I’m starting to call my laptop Lazarus because I’ve dropped it so many times.

    • I never even dropped my old laptop, and it is pretty huge and unwieldy. But cord chew, food and drink spills, and cat interruptions…. well, I may as well get the new one used to all that!

  11. Ladybuggz says:

    it looks like mine, except the “Fushia” (mines grey) mine isn’t touch screen.. I keep all my pass words written down in a book, I have about 4 of them …if I could find them! lol.. I hate Cortina!

    • Mine are all variations of the same character string, and I write down the basic setups of each password (without actually writing out the string itself) inside the cover of a notebook… but there’s quite a few I never bothered to record, and then sometimes they make you change your password (Usually after the site gets hacked) and I forget to update my list!

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