The Un-Lonliest Number

Hmmmmm….. what could this week’s shitty song possibly be….?

Now that the ghosts and goblins are back in school, the leftover candy in a bowl is just waiting to be added to your waistline, and your favorite radio station has just suddenly changed over to all holiday music…. it means we have definitely crossed that imaginary line that separates the spookiest and most wonderful times of the year.  And since it is Wednesday, what better way for The Nest to show off our Scroogely Christmas spirit by getting out our chain and flogging another unworthy classic of pop music history in my Top 30 Iconic Songs I Can’t Stand countdown!  DJ Scratchy and her Sponkies are gonna have to hold off on the Burl Ives carols for at least one more day so we can play something that is almost as irritating as chipmunk music…

#25. “Summer of ’69” – Bryan Adams

You know you’ve reached adulthood when you first begin to realize that a lot of the songs you grew up with and sang along to without a care in the world were actually more preverted than the stack of Hustler magazines your big brother kept under his mattress.  “Little Red Corvette” wasn’t about a sports car!?!?  “She Bop” is about masturbation!?!?  “Relax” is about sex!?!?  No way!  Relax, don’t do it!  When you wanna cu……

Errrrr…… nevermind.

Back in the mid 80’s, you could drop the word “faggot” in a song three times and end up with one of the most cherished hits of the decade.  But sex was something that still had to be tiptoed around like Tiny Tim in the tulips.  In the days before George Michael and Madonna brought it to the forefront, sexual references still had to be cleverly hidden within songs to get them past the radio police.  Back in 1984, Canadian artist Bryan Adams did just that and wound up with what has become his most famous song…

“Summer of ’69” seems like an innocent enough tune about a rather noteworthy time period not only in American history, but also in the coming of age of the singer.  Back in 1984, nobody had Google to check Adams’ birthdate and see that he had apparently “the best days of his life” at the tender age of nine.  To Bryan’s credit, he didn’t try to hide the song’s meaning… he’s flat out admitted it’s about sex and the reference to “69” is most definitely not something you’ll find on the Gregorian calendar…

It must be the year of the cat!

In the much more sexually liberated 21st century,  we have come to look back on this childish joke by Bryan Adams with much glee… and because of that, have far, far, FAR overextended this song’s welcome on our radios.  This is not a terrible song, but it’s definitely not one I’d want to hear more than a couple times a year…. and needless to say, even legally deaf people have probably heard it more than that in just the past week on their Braille boomboxes.  If you didn’t live through the 80’s, you might not even realize Bryan did many other songs that are way better than “Summer of ’69” because the evil people who control corporate playlists only play this one and apparently still think people will get a cheap giggle out of this damned piece of sophomoric humor.

Huh huh huh!!! And my name’s Mr. French!!! Huh huh huh!!!

Come back next Wednesday for another crappy song they played until my eardrums bled…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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41 Responses to The Un-Lonliest Number

  1. that was a cheesy song somehow… and it didn’t fit to the 80’s… we wore sweaters around our shoulders and pennies in our shoes and the woodstock feeling was covered with synthetic music…

  2. Merbear74 says:

    Yep, I hate this song sooo much. So much.

  3. Trisha says:

    I liked this song 20 years ago but I’ve heard it way too many times to enjoy it now. It was the combination of old overplayed songs like this and my hatred for 99% of all new music that made me ban all the pop stations from my car radio.

    • I’d give anything for a variety station that didn’t stick to a playlist, but outside of college stations (and we don’t have a good one around here), they don’t seem to exist. Even Mecca Radio plays this one all the time, which is really notable now since it’s become about 50% country. The music is making me start to hate my job….

  4. Ah so innocent. I thought they just ate junk food under the boardwalk.

  5. not a bad song overall, and one I don’t mind listening to, yet by the same token,
    it’s not included on the iTunes playlist I have either ! 🙂 ♥

    • That’s good, there’s many other decent Bryan Adams songs that don’t get played all the time. I will say I’d rather listen to Summer of 69 than any of that horrible lovesick dreck he did in the 90’s!

  6. franhunne4u says:

    Now, that is strange – I, too, am not too big a fan of said tune …

  7. Ally Bean says:

    Not a favorite of mine. Heard it too many times. Not sure how why it was so popular, but I’m not sure about many things… so why not?

    • I don’t get it either. Everyone old enough to “appreciate” this song grew up in an era when radio played whatever it wanted… and yet now, there are too many sheep who just want to hear the same few songs over and over. And this is what happens… we get stuck with too many crappy songs like this that are inescapable…

  8. fanrosa says:

    Why does it seem like every song on here I hear the day or two before your post? Since I just heard this on my way home the other day, I can remember my reaction. Yes, I sing along loudly and with enthusiasm. But I find myself somewhat unaffected by your criticism…

    I think it’s one of those that it’s just reflex to sing along and if I never heard it again, I probably wouldn’t realize it. Unlike a certain song that GIVES ME LIFE every time I hear it and pity the fool that puts it on this list. And, no, you probably could not guess what it is….ha!

    After being chastened last week, I actually read the prior comments first this week and it seems like you haven’t really poked any sacred cows as of yet. Are you just trying to soften us up before you hit us with the big guns? The only pearl clutcher for me thus far was Jack and Diane. And I sort of forgive you for filling the rest of the post with praise for Johnny C….

    • I end up subconsciously singing along with a lot of songs I absolutely abhor… just wait until the Christmas muzak starts up at Mecca. It’s the power of the earworm…

      Everyone’s opinion of what’s a sacred cow is going to differ. though I “imagine” I actually started off with countdown with one of the biggest bombshells if you go by those trendy greatest songs ever lists. There’s at least one more that frequently scores high on those lists that will be in my countdown, though much, much later… and you could probably even guess what it is. Oddly enough, Jack and Diane was one that barely made the countdown because I wasn’t sure if it was iconic enough. There’s a few more coming up that are definitely have a borderline iconic factor, and they’re mostly niche songs like Margaritaville, but my intense dislike of them made me justify their inclusion. There will be more variety other than just classic rock to come though, and I’m not even going to hold back on my beloved disco genre!

      And I do love JCM, just not that awful song about two American kids doin’ the best that they can….

  9. Oh the thought of all those teenage boys snorting about “69” and giggling every single time they see a girl eat a banana. Yes indeed, The Summer of 69 is totally overplayed. But that said, in my humble opinion it is not even half as bad as Jack and Diane. So far “Imagine” tops the carts for me as worst iconic song. My ears bleed every time I’m forced to listen to it.

    I am loving this series.

    I do love some other Bryan Adams songs (but not enough to overplay.)

    • Thank you! This should be fun because there really will be a lot of variety in the countdown as a whole, and each song I have on my list has an almost unique reason why I don’t like it which will give me plenty of material to rant about! I look forward to seeing where you (and everyone else) agrees and disagrees with me!

  10. I’m dumb. I always thought it meant 1969! By the way, I’ll never forget my mother asking me once if Mr. French slept with his beard inside or outside the covers. Snort!

    • I had always wondered about it since I was sure Bryan Adams had to be too young for his coming of age years to be in the late 60’s… and that was before I even knew the alternate meaning behind 69! I wasn’t surprised to find out the truth…

      I had never given thought to beard positioning while sleeping before. I couldn’t grow one anyway since after about a week and a half of not shaving, my face gets too itchy and it has to come off…

  11. The most irritating thing about this song was the way Bryan Adams screamed most of the lyrics – I never have been a fan of the scream technique but then that was part of the FUN of much of the music of that era. Some voices were made for screaming but his wasn’t. I bet he went through a whole box of throat lozenges (or some other substance) after screeching his way through that recording session.


    • Funny that I never really noticed that, but you’re right. And come to think of it, Bryan did a lot of scream singing in his other songs too. That was what I took Eric Burdon to task for in “House of the Rising Sun” and I should have caught it in Summer of 69 as well!

  12. chattykerry says:

    You are like a 13 year old boy – make sure you don’t go blind…😁 I can’t believe you did that with your stuffed toys, especially to a UNICORN!!! God is crying rainbow tears.🌈🌈

  13. I never made that connection…

  14. Ladybuggz says:

    Oh the summer of 69 ! those were the best days of my life….and I was only 4yrs. old lol….

  15. draliman says:

    No, no, it’s a lovely and innocent song all about a teenagehood full of dream and promise. And rumpy pumpy.

  16. I’d somehow not made the 69 connection either, and I usually can spot that sort of thing a mile away. Oh well… I do have it on my computer but I’m not sure if it’s on any playlist. If it is, it’s merely because it’s got a decent beat that is motiviational for running.

    I think there are cover versions of this out there, you know. Suddenly they look incredibly different!!

    • I’m sure there are some pretty nasty versions of this song that have been made. Even if it were a song that was written at face value, it would still be easy bait for every prevert parodist out there….

  17. Definitely not his worst and I confess I kind of always liked it (summer of whatever notwithstanding). Then again I have been accused of being somewhat perverted. 😊

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