Run Of The MILF

Gee, Mrs. Cleaver! You look really sexy in that dress today!

It’s time for another overblown song to go down, and go down hard.  That’s what we’re doing every Wednesday at The Nest with our weekly presentation of The Top 30 Iconic Songs That I Can’t Stand countdown!  I’ve already called “bullshit” on seven thoroughly overrated songs since I started the series two months ago, and me and DJ Scratchy haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of popular favorites that are long overdue for a Maroon 5 style wake up call.  Let’s throw some cold water on another modern classic, shall we?

#23. “Stacy’s Mom” – Fountains of Wayne

Fountains of Wayne is a rather unique, quirky band that has produced a number of musically fun and clever songs since the turn of the millennium.  Two of my favorite songs from the band were Mecca earworms that I always enjoyed hearing every night.  I already did a Mecca Muzak Monday write-up on 2007’s “Someone To Love,” a tale of two star crossed singles who just can’t quite manage to meet up.  And in the earlier days of Mecca Radio, there was the high energy rocker “Maureen,” which is a really great song you had probably never heard before.

Just a random Maureen I happened to find on Google Images.

Either of those two songs could have, and maybe should have been big hits.  But for some reason, the band Fountains of Wayne was largely ignored.  Maybe it was because, at their heart, they were just an indie pop band who recorded great music outside of the bright lights and wild parties of the recording industry’s A-list.

Or maybe it was because Fountains of Wayne had already burst onto the scene early in the 2000’s with this utter claptrap, and nobody wanted to give them a second chance to redeem themselves…

“Stacy’s Mom” was only a #21 hit in the US (And FoW’s only Top 40 hit), but like a lot of the best remembered songs of the past two decades… its appeal far exceeded its chart success.  This story of a horny young teen boy who falls in love with his girlfriend’s mother has managed to become pop culture’s ultimate tribute to the MILF.  That’s an acronym I didn’t even know existed at the time the song was released in 2003… you know, because I’m obviously a very sheltered person.

And maybe the most preverted sheltered person you’ll ever know.

The band claims the song was written as a tribute to The Cars, which is kind of like saying “Ice Ice Baby” was a tribute to David Bowie and Queen.  “Stacy’s Mom” sounds an awful lot like a mashup between “Just What I Needed” and “My Best Friend’s Girl,” which are fittingly two of the absolute worst songs The Cars ever did.  There isn’t enough Rachel Hunter cleavage in the world to wallpaper over just how shitty this tribute to a shitty song actually sounds…

What, your mom wasn’t a stripper? You were a deprived child, weren’t you?

So the song is shitty…. a lot of songs are shitty.  What makes this one shitty enough to be in this prestigious company of crappiness?  I’m sure I share a lot of the same stereotypical sexual fantasies as a lot of other “normal” guys out there…. but one thing I’ve never really understood is the concept of the MILF.  Sure, there are very attractive older women out there… which is great for us (ahem) mature men.  But why in the hell would a teenage boy be lusting after cougar meat when he has unfettered, legal access to all that jailbait?  Maybe it helped my case that what few friends I had as a kid were all the youngest children of large families.  My best friend’s mother was almost as old as my grandma.  And you sure don’t see many males of any age going crazy for GILFs…

Hello, dearie! You’ve just reached Granny G-string’s sex line! No, I’m not breathing hard for you…. that’s just my asthma acting up again!

Come back next Wednesday for another overly liked song that needs to act its age…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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34 Responses to Run Of The MILF

  1. fanrosa says:

    You’re not in with Stacy’s mom???? Huh…. I can’t even work up the energy to be outraged because, although I personally love Stacy’s mom, I don’t consider this song to be anywhere near iconic. And Maureen wasn’t even Top 40? Damn, even I’ve heard of that one.

    Also, I hate to break it to you, but in your little circle of young friends, your mom was the MILF…..

    • You are probably right, though my friends never came over to my house… I was always coming over to theirs. Maybe they didn’t like my sisters….

      I agree that this is far from a verified classic, but I wanted to include some more recent songs that have come to stand for something… and this is undeniably the MILF song. And I hate it. The next two songs are bonafide classic rock hits, and I have no idea how you feel about either of them… so we’ll see if I can get you highly offended.

  2. Very bubbly gummy but yet again I must say while I remember hearing this one, I never “overly” heard it. I’d like to think that now that I’m a woman of a certain age (or maybe even beyond “certain”) there might be at least one kid around who sees me driving my lawn tractor around and thinks – GO GRANNY GO – though. Bwaaaaa….ha…ha…ha……

    Pam

  3. Trisha says:

    The MILF concept is so icky. When I was in high school, some of us had crushes on teachers but never each other’s parents. Ewww! Then trying to imagine it from a cougar’s perspective…yuck! What kind of sicko lusts after their kid’s friends? This is a song I hope to never hear again!

    • franhunne4u says:

      Well, there are some divorced men out there whose next girlfriend is their daughter’s age.

      • As creepy as this may sound, I can understand the cougar/dirty old man persona because it’s a side effect of growing older. As long as human physical beauty peaks in the teens and early 20’s, everyone will always have an eye out for that age group. I just don’t get why young would be attracted to old… and that goes for those girls who seem to have a thing for mature men.

    • I am pretty sure my friend’s mom never lusted after me…. especially since I was pretty much treated like one of her kids…. right down to getting backhanded when I got out of line! Parents were parents back in the day!

  4. I hate this song. I hate the video. Good call.

  5. I never heard anything else by this group. Stacy’s Mom was the only song I knew they did. I thought they were a one hit wonder. I always thought the video was both creepy and funny, and I actually didn’t mind this song. It’s not something I could sing along with, but it made me laugh.

    • They’re kind of like Devo… they did a lot of songs that people into the music scene at the time would know, but they only charted with and are famous for one song. I think this is the first time you’ve kinda disagreed with one of my choices!

      • I think you’re right. I also had no idea that song was supposed to be a tribute to The Cars. I love The Cars. Ben Orr was a favorite of mine. He died way too young.

      • I agree. And I didn’t care much for the song “Drive” when it first came out, but it may be my favorite Cars song now.

      • Have you heard the remake that Sixx:A.M. did of Drive? I liked it when I first heard it, but after revisiting the original, I don’t. I like James Michael, but he’s not Ben. I also don’t like the weird repetitive thing Nikki Sixx put into the bass line that wasn’t in the original. Listen to some of The Cars’ songs. Ben was a great bass player. Sometimes simpler is better.

  6. Ahahaha! This post is perfect! It’s exactly what I needed to start my day 😀

  7. Quirky Girl says:

    Every time I hear that song, it makes me think of American Pie and that whole thing with Stifler’s Mom. 😜

  8. franhunne4u says:

    Never heard it here in Germany.

  9. ody N biskit; honest ta cod…. never hurd bout thiz song ore de band ~~~~~~~♥♥

  10. It does sound a little ‘Cars-is’ and isn’t the worst song in the world (Maureen was much grosser). I do kind of like the song. It’s sure better than a stick in the eye for sure (or an ear worm of some song you really despise). 😆

    • This is why I do not go back and replay any of the videos I include with these countdown posts… I hate to even listen to songs I despise even one more time just to make sure the video plays! I have clicked on the link I included for Maureen several times since I posted this, though! 😛

  11. I had to look up MILF because I had not idea what it meant. Shouldn’t there be a “U” or “Y” at the end? Just saying …

    • If it were a true acronym, it would actually have a T between the L and F… though that would make it very hard to pronounce and despite being the action verb in this phrase, I guess the word “to” is short enough to be ignored…

  12. draliman says:

    Crap song. Bloody loved the video, though 😉 That kid’s lucky he didn’t mow over Stacey during his ogle-fest. I bet that would’ve killed his chances.
    Any excuse to bring out the Snuggle/Mitzi photo, eh?

  13. My son’s co-worker called me a MILF. I wasn’t sure if I should feel complimented or disrespected. You’ve helped me decide to become a GILF, because why the hell not!

    • It’s all a matter of perspective. I think the older a woman gets, the more of a compliment it becomes. Go for the GILF! And hell, why not aim for becoming a GGILF in your golden years!

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