Party Pooper

It must be time for another dog of a song…

Happy Friday the 13th!  What?  Well, it’s MY Friday…. doesn’t that count?  It doesn’t?  Oh well, then I guess that means it must actually be Wednesday, so The Nest can continue on its unmerry way in shooting down another song that people think entirely too much of in our Top 30 Iconic Songs I Can’t Stand countdown!  DJ Scratchy’s got her beer bong set up for you to get your mind off this god-awful hit, and hopefully the Sponkies have been sent to Mitzi’s day care for some adult supervision.  Hey nineteen….

#19. “Red Solo Cup” – Toby Keith

I’ve been a pretty out of the loop person now for the better part of a decade.  I rarely watch TV, refuse to participate in any of that social media nonsense, and don’t have much of a life outside of my nest and Mecca.  This causes me to miss out on things that everyone else seems to know about and talk about…. at least until they’re no longer a viral fad.  You’ll have to pardon my obliviousness sometimes…

Who is this Pootin guy? Isn’t Gorbachev still presiding over the USSR?

For several years after it first came out in 2011, I kept hearing about this awesome party anthem about red Solo cups, of all things.  OK, whatever.  I was too lazy…. er, wasn’t curious enough to bother looking the song up, so I just continued not paying attention to anything like I do well.  About two years ago, my variety radio station finally played the song in front of my very ears…

I was sure there must have been some mistake, and that all the commotion must have been for a different song about red Solo cups.  But honestly, how many songs about a cheap plastic beverage container can there possibly be?  No, this had to be THE red Solo cup song…. and boy oh boy is it one utterly unlistenable piece of skunkshit!

That is offensive to all skunks! Take it back!

This song is such a terrible composition, and that is actually reflected in the fact that the Wiki article for “Red Solo Cup” classifies its genre as “country rap.”  Huh?  Is that even possible?  Mixing Nashville and Compton!?!?  There may not be two more annoying formats in popular music… so why not put them together to create one truly fucking pathetic song?  You can even portmanteau it and call it Country RAP.”  Maybe we can get Vanilla Ice and Darius Rucker together and have the world’s absolute worst ghetto hoedown…

Or you can put Nelly and Tim McGraw together and come up with something that’s amazingly even worse.

Along with offending my musical tastes, this song also irritates me for glorifying the wild college party atmosphere where the only goal apparently is to get so shitfaced drunk that you won’t even be able to remember if you had a good time or not.  You can put Kool Aid, soda or even chileh in a red Solo cup… but that wouldn’t be the reason Toby Keith finds them so worth worshiping in this awful goddamn song.  Nope, they’re only equipped to drain the keg and lob ping pong balls into.  Yeah, I’ll just keep drinking from my 52 oz. hernia jug from Quik Trip, thank you very much…

YAY! More for us then! Who needs a liver anyway?

I’ll proceed to pound on another horribly overhyped song next Wednesday…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
This entry was posted in Iconic Songs I Hate Countdown and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

49 Responses to Party Pooper

  1. Quirky Girl says:

    Country rap!?! I had no clue that was actually a thing… 😂

  2. That was new for me, never heard that ” Red Cup Solo”, and I hope I don´t have to hear it again. You seem to have a different calender, of course, because you have Fahrenheits, gallons, miles etc.

  3. fanrosa says:

    I have never heard this song before. I think I’ve heard OF it, but never heard it. I like it! I would put it more in the novelty song column than the iconic one, but hey…..

    Legend likes it (he must, because he obviously didn’t need to appear in the video for money), and that’s good enough for me!

  4. franhunne4u says:

    Not even I can come up with a defence for this.

  5. It reminds me a little of a song from muppet show LOL… and I’m afraid with this tunes this will be the lamest party ever…

  6. Thomas Bonafede says:

    What’s going on here? Two selections in a row I’m completely on board with!

  7. Merbear74 says:

    I can’t stand Toby Keith, he’s icky.

  8. I am not sure who IS in touch. My granddaughter says SHE is out of touch and my son says “What touch?” There’s so much going on — socially, culturally, politically, internationally, and in terms of the earth and the climate and … well … everything. In touch? I’m really unsure what that means. It isn’t the one-sided thing it was when I and you were kids. There are a lot of sides to this touch!!

    • And maybe too much touching going on in the first place. The only thing I miss about not being in touch is that it’s killed my trivia acumen since it is often so related to popular culture and current events…

  9. fanrosa says:

    Ugh.

    I don’t even want to admit how many times I’ve watched this video today (every time I think I’m out, it pulls me back in) and now I think I actually love this song! I also enjoy all of the party shenanigans in the background.

    Still trying to figure out whose cameo is between Roger Clemens and David Copperfield. It’s going to make me crazy until I figure it out and has accounted for at least half of my views.

    Thanks a lot….. and by ‘a lot’ I mean not one damned bit….ha!

  10. Ladybuggz says:

    hahaha! for some reason it had no sound!! But it sounds like I’m better off!

  11. Uhhh…..not sure what to say about this one other than “WHAAAAAAT????” Never heard it and I think I’m fortunate in that department. When we are down to songs about plastic cups I think we must be close to the end of the world……right?

    Pam

    • The Beatles would have never written a song about a plastic cup! I think all of the good ideas are gone… so if you don’t look or sound like Justin Bieber, you have to start writing songs about random objects…

  12. I never heard of that one. I can only take Toby in small doses. (I like Whisky Girl). I hate it when he raps.

  13. Ally Bean says:

    Huh? Is this a “for real” song that was on a “for real” music chart? Is that guy in the video a “for real” singer? I’m clueless here. What rabbit hole have I fallen into this time?

  14. Haven’t heard it…and going to avoid it. Thank you for your faithful community service!

  15. crimsonowl63 says:

    I’ve heard it because my friends love this song. I am not a fan and skipped the opportunity to listen again. I know the name Toby Keith, but that’s all. I like hip hop & rap and this never hit me as that. Maybe because my ears were bleeding at the time. Just bad. Bad subject, horrible actions, just…just…all around bad.

    • It’s a train wreck of a song… not catchy in the least. And I guess rap doesn’t have to be catchy like pop does, but as you said, this isn’t what I think of when I think of rap. They must do it differently in the south…

  16. Trisha says:

    I can’t believe this charted on any chart! I have heard it a few times but thought it was some sort of joke and not a real single with a video and everything. I don’t think the country stations in my area like Toby Keith or something because he sang at some tribute or awards thing that I didn’t watch but heard about and I wondered who the hell he was. Or maybe I just change the station every time he comes on. That seems probable, if this is a good example of his music!

    • I think Toby Keith is pretty much what would constitute a prototypical 21st century country star, only with a bit more of a sense of humor in his songs… most of which I don’t like, though that’s my general take on country music. They play way too much country on the radio at work, and I almost wish I didn’t know who Toby was…

      • Trisha says:

        I never hear country music in stores. I wonder if they choose different music for different regions? There are so many super annoying country songs but I would take any of them over anyone’s rendition of Last Christmas! The original was playing while I was grocery shopping today and I wanted to scream. I can’t spend 10 minutes in any store without hearing it. My shitty mood got a whole lot shittier after 40 minutes of Christmas music alternating with the weird jazzy elevator music the store alternates normal music with. I feel for store employees!

  17. draliman says:

    I assume this was meant as a comedy song, like a mickey-take of something else. In which case, they did well!

  18. Another horribly overhyped song? How ’bout just a horrible song.

  19. This song makes my skin crawl. This is the definition of white trash.

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