Meet Fuzzywig

I promised a new series for Thursdays to replace my erstwhile comic strip, and since I’ve come to terms with the Shelf Critters having taken over my blog, I figured it’d be a good time to give the players their very own post to say hello.  So from now until…. well, who knows when, I’ll feature one of the gang every Thursday and give the lowdown on their role in SCT, as well as reveal some (hopefully) interesting and fun tidbits behind what these critters actually are and how they came into my possession.  And while the troupe may have bigger and better loved (or hated) stars, I still consider Fuzzywig to be the gang’s leader, and so he will be first up on this VH1 special Behind The Shelf…

You can trust me. I’m a professional!

NAME: Fuzzywig

SPECIES: Raccoon

SHELF PERSONALITY: Cool and cunning, while being a bit “out there.”  Largely inspired by the sneaky, goofy eyed look that’s frozen on his face.


Try it. You’ll like it!

Fuzzy is well known for his love of all things MARIHUANA (The spelling and capitalization of which was inspired by a Merby post last year).  He often produces a bag of “weed” labelled as “The Good Stuff” (It’s actually catnip) and an old pipe to smoke it in.  Fuzzywig often admits to being in some stage of being stoned during episodes, and it has become a recurring joke for me to have him work the popular stoner time “4:20” into his dialogue in every episode.

Go away, mutt! You bother me.

Fuzzy has an extremely disobedient dog named Fleabag who he seems to absolutely despise and often treats like crap.  Whenever Fleabag does something to upset his owner, Fuzzywig often threatens to sell him to the local Chinese buffet (which he actually did in one episode).  Yes, my blog is not politically correct… you’ve either already dealt with that reality, or else you don’t actually read my posts.

ESN PREMIERE: Fuzzywig’s first acting role on this blog was as an acorn thief in my August 2014 post “Who Needs An Elf?” which was my entry in Bacon’s contest giving away an elf on the shelf…

I gotchur nuts right here!

WHAT’S IN A NAME?: Like several of my shelf critters, Fuzzywig got his name from his appearance as a role player in Part II of my epic holiday miniseries “A Pony Christmas Carol” from 2015… where he was cast in the role of Scrooge’s (Played by Scratchy) old boss Fezziwig.

Well, who can argue with that?

ICONIC SCT ROLE: As good as Fuzzywig was as the star in my Pied Piper parody, my favorite “performance” from the coon was his role as a thoroughly sleazy shell game operator in the series of Bashful’s Adventures posts that help set up Shelf Critter Theatre…. taking advantage of both an unsuspecting player and his gullible partner.  This episode set Fuzzy on the path to critter stardom.

A loser every time!

WHAT IS HE?: Fuzzywig is a small raccoon figurine that is actually a mini bobblehead… which you probably didn’t know since that kind of movement wouldn’t be apparent in my still shots.

WHERE DID HE COME FROM: The Bass Pro Shop in Independence, Missouri just outside of Kansas City.  I bought him there on one of my trips in May 2011.  The beady eyes and fucked up expression made him a must have.

You chose wisely, my friend.

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: Sure you can!  Putting “raccoon bobblehead” into Google Images brings up about 420 results for Rocket Raccoon from Guardians of the Galaxy… but also several Fuzzywig clones that look a little weird outside of the shitty lighting my critters have to work under.  This one isn’t an exact copy of Fuzzywig, but it’s close enough and a steal for $7.99 (I’m sure I wound up paying more for mine).

I’m worth every penny of that. And you can smoke up the savings…

So, what did you think?  Interesting?  Boring?  Too nerdy?  Eh, I don’t care anyway.  I’ll put another Shelf Critter under the spotlight next Thursday…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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29 Responses to Meet Fuzzywig

  1. Piglove says:

    Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. *That’s* where that habit came from. That explains everything with certain activities Bashful has picked up in his journeys. XOXO – Bacon

    • Everyone thought Bashful would corrupt my critters and not the other way around…. but they really underestimate my gang of troublemakers! It is only fitting that a rock should get stoned, though…

      • Piglove says:

        Snorts with piggy laughter. Do you remember when Bashful smoked a bong while visiting Easy in France? OMP! That picture is worth a thousand words for sure. XOXO – Bacon

  2. is catnip really smokeable? the mama once tried it with chestnut leaves and it ended awful (she was 10 that time or so)

  3. Yep – I think this new feature will be most enlightening……Old Fuzzy certainly brings a lot of fun and clouds of (cough cough) smoke to the Shelf.


  4. ghostmmnc says:

    It will be fun and informative to learn about your critters, as I didn’t get in from the first. I have quite a few critters on my shelf, too. I should introduce them someday. haha! 🙂

    • You should! When I did my Contest of Whatever last year and had other bloggers do their own Shelf Critter Theatre, I really enjoyed seeing who people all had around the house.

  5. draliman says:

    I like Fuzzywig, largely because he has a funny name. And he’s always so “chilled” (except when Fleabag acts up).

    • If only I could get him to use a rolled up newspaper on the dog, I could get those naked protester chicks from PETA on my front lawn. Alas, Fuzzy prefers different rolled up papers…

  6. Mattmax says:

    I think this will be quite enjoyable

  7. Merbear74 says:

    Wow, I actually inspired someone. It’s 420 somewhere…

  8. Ladybuggz says:

    He’d be my friend! ❤

  9. If I didn’t already have several hundred antique dolls and small pottery creatures ranging from one turquoise chicken to a large brass retriever (he’s a doorstop, actually and keeps our bathroom closet door closed because the door knob is broken) … lord knows what else we have here. We have an astounding array of toys and antiques and antique toys, so no matter how weird YOUR stuff is, our stuff is at least as weird. I still have something I need to send you and I have sworn to myself that as soon as the snow melts I will do it. The problem has been packaging and I think I just need to take it to the post office and let them fit it into the best box they have that will securely hold it. I gave up on trying to figure out the right packing myself sometime around Christmas and the post mistress promised to fix it for me.

    Wasn’t that a nice long spiel? I don’t think I have a raccoon, but I do have Robbie the
    Robot. He talks, stumbles, then falls on his face. He is my favorite.

  10. chattykerry says:

    Fuzzywig is just a tad creepy. Maybe it’s the stoned eyes? 😁

  11. Very cool new feature post. Looking forward to finding out all about the critter shelf inhabitants. It’s kind of like therapy getting background info and explains ever so much in the scheme of things around the Nest.

  12. A very good plan, and very entertaining. 😀

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