Meet Rainy

My Thursday meet and greet with the Shelf Critter gang I’m starting the year off with continues this week with the ever pleasant and docile Rainy.  She wants you to know more about her, and you’ll pay attention if you know what’s good for you…

Go ahead…. laugh, clown, laugh!

NAME: Rainy


SHELF PERSONALITY: Rainy seems to be constantly surly and perturbed about something.  She generally does not take kindly to the childish antics of her shelfmates, and is very easily angered and will seek retribution in that ever so effective way that has made her species so feared.  She very impatiently awaits the day when it finally rains on the shelf so she can put the rain gauge she carries around with her to good use…

Oh, do you kids think this is funny?

RUNNING GAGS: Rainy’s rain gauge seems to be under constant assault by the other critters… whether some poor schmuck accidentally breaks it, some jokester fills it with what Rainy would refer to as “NOT rain,” someone steals it, or Mitzi attempts to use it as a “big girl toy” again.  Hell hath no fury like a skunk scorned, and rainy sees to it that whoever violates her “precious rain gauge” gets a thorough dousing of her plentiful stink.

Not to be used as a stripper pole.

When Rainy is thoroughly pissed off, her eyes will light up red and everything behind her will be covered in a misty green that can only be fully experienced when scratch and sniff technology comes to WordPress.  Rainy’s sprayed just about everyone on the shelf so far…

spraying skunk

ESN PREMIERE: Rainy (then nameless) had a small role in “Who Needs An Elf,” but her first real appearance in one of my productions was in the Bashful episode “Make It Rain,” where she first became the guest rock’s chief nemesis and really established her shelf personality.

Bashful will always be Rainy’s first.

WHAT’S IN A NAME: Rainy’s name was coined in that Bashful skit out of need.  It just seemed fitting for her given the obvious prop.

ICONIC SCT ROLE: Probably that aforementioned run in with Bashful.  But just to pick something else, how about “Just the Facts, Ma’am,” an early, long forgotten SCT episode where Rainy must identify who stole her rain gauge from a lineup of suspicious looking critters.  In the climactic scene, Rainy also claims her first SCT victim, and you’d never guess who it is…

Not, like, lulz…

WHAT IS SHE?: Rainy, of course, is a decorative garden rain gauge, who would have a practical use if I didn’t keep her inside.  She might help brighten up my ugly looking property, but I’d rather keep her away from those who might steal more than just her precious rain gauge…

Plus, you don’t want to know what wet skunk smells like…

WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?: Ozarkland in Kingdom City, Missouri… which is a novelty souvenir store full of weird stuff (Another shelf critter originated from there, as you’ll see later).  I bought her there on the way home from my May 2014 trip to Kansas City.  At the time, my entire skunk collection consisted of a single plush… and I thought a skunk holding a rain gauge was pretty cute.  I know you’d agree with me…

Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: Alas, like with every other critter I’ve featured so far, Rainy appears to be out of stock… maybe permanently.  However, the handful of user reviews left on that Amazon link are awesome!  What do you think of these, Rainy?

RAINY: He?  HE!?!?!?  Did you even bother to turn me over and check my bits!?!?  And I am NOT a vase!!!!  How dare you plug up my rain gauge with nasty weeds that your little brats pulled up out of the ground for you!  I did NOT find this review helpful as all!

RAINY: Take me outside!  TAKE ME OUTSIDE!!!  It never rains INSIDE!  I will do very well outside, just as long as your neighbors’ mutts don’t get any funny ideas…

RAINY: Fit!?!?!?  Fit WHERE!?!?  What did you do with me!?!?!?  And why did you give me five stars afterwards!?!?!?!?

RAINY: I definitely am the only one of my kind in existence…. but why are you disappointed in my size?  Why would I need to be bigger?  Did I not FIT!?!?!?  WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE DOING WITH THESE RAIN GAUGES!?!?!?!?!?!?

RAINY: JUNK!?!?!?  I’m just broken JUNK!?!?!?  You obviously do not know how to treat a skunk lady right.  Here, let me show you what I can do with this JUNK!

Stupid internet trolls!

Before Rainy ends up spraying me for putting her through this, I’ll end this week’s look into the SCT gang and promise another member will get their moment of un-glory next Thursday…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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24 Responses to Meet Rainy

  1. Just wanted to drop by even though I feel today as if I am unfit for human or non-human company. I’ll be back!

    • I’ve been just as bad lately letting too many frivolous things get in the way of my time. I’m now three full days behind reading anyone else’s blog and might not get to catch up until tomorrow…

  2. I like rainy and I would like to have one of her cousins or uncles or aunts in my garden… I had an idea how to fill that gauge ;O)))

  3. draliman says:

    I like the gallery of Rainy’s best sprayings!

  4. Those Amazon comments are hilarious…..I kind of like the budvase idea. Interesting combo of sweet smelling flower and – well – YOU KNOW. Rainy is a great character and I always look forward to the clouds of green descending on some other poor hapless critters in the Nest because they almost ALWAYS deserve a little greenery.

    Pam and Teddy too

  5. Ally Bean says:

    You’ve really thought all of this through, haven’t you? Didn’t know Rainy’s backstory…

    • Every critter has a backstory… some of them are just more interesting than others. Rainy was quite a find… that one reviewer was right, there just aren’t any other skunk-themed rain gauges out there.

  6. Piglove says:

    NNNNOOOO!!!! Not the stinky skunk. Shaking my head in terror and shivers. Bashful told me way too many stories about Rainy. OMP – WOW! XOXO – Bacon

  7. Oh dear Rainy…all the things you’ve had to endure just don’t seem fair. Nice green action to nicely contrast with your red eyes. And I’m really bummed there isn’t a skunk emoticon. WT…?

  8. Quirky Girl says:

    Rainy makes a lot of sense for the name of a rain gauge. But apparently, my delusional brain had me convinced that Rainy was holding a test tube, rather than a device for measuring rain. 😂😂😂

  9. Rainy rather reminds me of Susan Sto Helit in the Discworld series…

  10. Trisha says:

    Rainy is so cute! I like her sassy, no-nonsense personality too.

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