Meet Fleabag

So, are you ready to meet another fucked up member of the internet’s most ridiculous cast of characters?  It’s Thursday…. of course you are!  Today we’re going to shine the red laser light pointer on one of Shelf Critter Theatre’s most unexpected stars… that mangy mutt Fleabag!  A complimentary, community flea dip will be provided to all readers following this post…

You may also want to keep all humpables inside of the vehicle at all times…

NAME: Fleabag

SPECIES: Dog

SHELF PERSONALITY: Fleabag is a completely disobedient mutt whose antics are usually comically annoying.  Fleabag’s piss poor training lead to such reprehensible behavior as barking incessantly…

Whizzing where he shouldn’t be whizzing…

Tearing important papers to shreds…

Biting…

And humping anything that doesn’t hump him first…

RUNNING GAGS: Fleabag usually appears as the pet of Fuzzywig, who is often frustrated and fed up by his horrendous conduct… and often threatens to sell him to the Chinese buffet.  Fleabag communicates in long strings of BARKS, usually with a hidden message somewhere in the long string of yaps.  Despite being such a bad dog, Fleabag will tug at your heartstrings for being so cute while he’s a pain in the ass…

You don’t want to know where that tongue’s been, Fuzzy…

ESN PREMIERE: Fleabag is maybe the only major star of the Shelf Critter universe who did not make his “acting” debut until the actual SCT series began.  His first appearance was a completely throwaway cameo as Fuzzywig’s dog in the very first episode of SCT ever, A Very Sponkie Halloween… where he barks his fool head off as the trick or treating kids come to the door, and is duly punished by his equally terrible owner.

This is how it all began for the Shelf’s most beloved mongrel.

WHAT’S IN A NAME: In Fleabag’s first three SCT appearances, he didn’t even have a name!  His lines were merely credited to “DOG” or “K9.”  By his fourth appearance in “Up, Up And Away,” when it became obvious the dog was going to become a recurring character, I adopted Fuzzy’s epithet for him, “Fleabag,” as his proper name.  At the time when Fleabag was first appearing solely as the annoying barking dog, Jaded would occasionally comment that her laughing at my silliness would often prompt her neighbor’s dog to start barking like Fleabag… which I credit with pushing me to use Fleabag more and more in Shelf Critter Theatre until he became one of the gang’s main players.

Thank you, thank you! No autographs, please!

ICONIC SCT ROLE: One of the few episodes where Fleabag serves as the story’s main character is “Rain In Vain,” where Rainy recruits the alleged bloodhound to seek out the precipitation she so desires.  Naturally, Fleabag fails miserably… only to end up successful, and then properly punished in the end…

You want it to start raining stinky green, mutt?

WHAT IS HE?: Fleabag is a McDonald’s Happy Meal toy that was used to promote the 1996 live action remake of the classic Disney film 101 Dalmatians.  I was actually kinda surprised to find out just how old Fleabag was… that means he’s about 152 in dog years now!  Yikes!

Leave him alone, Fuzzy. He probably needs it for his glaucoma.

WHERE DID HE COME FROM?: Obviously from McDonalds…. but I have absolutely no idea how he came into my possession.  I guess at some point in time, I just claimed him for my own.  Warning: don’t ever leave idle critters laying around while I’m around unless you never want to see them again…

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: Hell yeah!  Here’s a Fleabag toy you can get for just $1.95, plus $5.95(!!!) shipping and handling.  Hurry, there’s only one remaining!  For those of you in the UK, you can get your very own Fleabag from here for the amazing low cost of £5.00…. however much that is…

Makes the perfect Christmas gift for the bad dog lover in your life.

I’ll feature another adorable critter that is sure to take a leak on your heart next Thursday…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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23 Responses to Meet Fleabag

  1. He sounds like The Duke to me. Does he limp? Does he live for dog biscuits? Do his sad eyes make you feel guilty for eating anything without sharing or better yet giving the whole thing away? Hmm. Definitely Dukish.

  2. the mama said he must be my brother or a cousin… WHAT?!

  3. Fleabag does rather suit him!

  4. draliman says:

    Another fine product from the MacDonald’s stables.

  5. Piglove says:

    Snorts and rolls with piggy laughter. Oh Fleabag you are too cute for words. XOXO – Bacon

  6. Ally Bean says:

    You know, as I read these lengthy character descriptions I’m beginning to wonder if you need to apply your wordy talents to writing a book. One about, oh I don’t know, toys that come to life in your house– and the man who makes it happen. A memoir, of sorts.

    • Hmmmm… well, that book certainly wouldn’t be for small children. Or tweens. or even high schoolers. When adults think about toys coming to life, they usually think of things like Chucky. And Chucky would probably be sane compared to a Shelf Critter Theatre novel…

  7. Trisha says:

    Fleabag is surely having a more interesting life than any of his siblings. Most of them probably reside in a landfill and the shelf is a naughty dog’s paradise. So many critters to pee on and hump!

  8. Could Fleabag be part Chihuahua for all his barking?

  9. Ladybuggz says:

    I think you need one of those shock collars for him to stop his incessant barking! Other than that, he’s adorable! ❤

  10. 1jaded1 says:

    Fleabag is my favorite. I love all of the creatures, but Fleabag holds a special place in my heart.

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