Meet Chip

It’s time to crack open the padded doors of that insane asylum so you can gawk at the wreckage of another of my shelf critters on another meet the gang Thursday.  This week, The Nest is featuring the not so nutty squirrel Chip, who proves that you need more than a bunch of clowns to have a flea circus…

How did I end up in this loony bin, anyway?

NAME: Chip

SPECIES: Squirrel?  Chipmunk?  Ground squirrel?  We’ll delve into that later…

SHELF PERSONALITY: Chip is probably the closest thing the SCT gang has to a straight man, or straight critter, I guess.  Chip generally just tries to go with the flow, reacting nonplussed and often deadpan to the lunacy that’s going on around him.  He would likely make a fine actor in a more serious critter troupe on a kid’s show, but somehow wound up in my bunch of rejects instead…

I don’t even want to know what’s going on here!

RUNNING GAGS: Chip is generally used when I need someone to tie all of the often disjointed skits in an episode together.  This has led Chip to be typecast as a TV show host… having already appeared as the emcee of parodies I’ve done on Hollywood Squares, The Maury Povich Show, and last week’s telethon.  Whenever a voice of reason is needed to keep SCT from getting entirely too silly, Chip is there to completely fail at saving the day…

I’m getting too old for this shit!

ESN PREMIERE: Chip was first brought off of the shelf to serve as the horrified onlooker in the pre-SCT episode that served as Bashful’s first skunking, “Make It Rain.”  He would later show up to moderate The Great Debate between Bashful and Uncle Sam.  Those two early appearances pretty much set up Chip’s niche for Shelf Critter Theatre…

Who am I? Why am I here?

WHAT’S IN A NAME: When I first received Chip as a gift (see below), there was a bit of a debate over exactly what species he was supposed to be.  The stripes down his back say chipmunk, the tail looks like what you’d find on a ground squirrel… and yet other than those two traits, his appearance is that of a common arboreal squirrel.  So in giving him a name, I compromised on the confusion and dubbed him Chipmunk Squirrel, or Chip for short.

Sorry folks, but the dog chewed up my birth certificate.

ICONIC SCT ROLE: I don’t think there was ever a better Chip being Chip episode than the unhinged and completely made up as I went skit “Year End Clearance,” which started off as a show about literally nothing… and by the time the dust had settled, became one of my favorite SCT stories to ever ooze from my brain.  Chip tried his best to hold the show together, but luckily for us all, he didn’t succeed…

Chip’s parents probably never thought he’d end up in a porn flick.

WHAT IS HE?: According to what’s printed on his underside (What, you don’t have tattoos on your butt?), Chip is a Shafford bone china figurine that was painted by hand… and was probably made at some point in the first half of the 20th Century.  That means that despite hanging out with my lowlifes, he might actually have some real world value.  He’s definitely not a toy out of a box or some quirky gag gift like a lot of my shelf critters are…

WHERE DID HE COME FROM?: My friend Hottie (yes, she is a real person, though that’s not her name) sent him to me a few years ago.  Without digging, I don’t remember the exact year, but it was around 2012.  Hottie frequents estate sales, and has found and sent me a few antique squirrels… including a handful of other SCT stars, as you’ll see in later meet and greet posts.

Yeah, I’m worth more than you are, dryer lint breath…

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: I always thought Chip was a one of a kind creation, but in typing “shafford bone china squirrel” into Google Images, I did find one hit for a Chip clone.  However, that image no longer appears on the eBay link it was attached to.  So, while there is likely other Chips being auctioned off out there for some mystery price, for all intents and purposes, we can say that Chip is unavailable and not for sale.  And he wouldn’t want it any other way…

I’ll just remain here in my happy place…

Join me next Thursday as another critter gets exposed in a way that is truly indecent…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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22 Responses to Meet Chip

  1. Chip is a super character and he has always the paws on his nuts… that’s important (said my dad) LOL

  2. Chip is as normal (never thought I’d use that word about a shelf critter) as normal gets in the Theatre. Very cool that he’s an antique – shouldn’t he be in the squirrel nursing home by now at that age? Oh no…..I’m seeing a vision of a future episode of SCT – “SCT Characters’ Retirement Home”…….wheelchair races in the hallways???

    Pam and Teddy too

    • Oddly enough, I think the critters in my collection that are probably the oldest also play some of the youngest characters… but I was surprised to find out how old my china squirrels might be. Coming from a much more prudish era, no wonder Chip is aghast at what transpires here. And Mitzi in a nursing home would be….. well…. an adventure to say the least.

  3. Ally Bean says:

    So it’s estate sales where one finds these objects you cherish. I’ve always wondered where you get some of your critters. I mean, they are unique.

    • I’ll bet I could pick up all kinds of strange critters if I frequented yard sales and thrift stores… which for some reason I don’t. There is so much trash out there that would be my treasure…

  4. Piglove says:

    Oh Chip – protect those nuts at all costs. XOXO – Bacon

  5. Chip is an original in every sense of the word. Nice background info on the sane one. 🐿

  6. I think he’s a chipmunk. Hard to be sure, but he looks like the chipmunks who live around here. He’s a pretty handsome guy, as these things go.

  7. draliman says:

    Hang on, Chip’s a genuine antique and he’s hanging out with that bunch on the shelf? No offence to them or anything.

  8. Trisha says:

    I figured he got the name Chip by being chipped somewhere, like my Chip the Squirrel’s ear looks like the end chipped off. Two years ago was a bad time for squirrel ears around here. We had a Chip, a Chunk, a Slice and a Punch that year!

    Your Chip is the perfect straight man. You can tell by his serious expression that he’s not nearly as crazy as the rest of the shelf gang. My Chip is kind of like that too. He just does what he’s gonna do, no matter what craziness is going on around him.

    • I’ve got a couple broken squirrels, but other than the shiny gold one I use as a trophy, neither of them are SCT characters. I noticed the serious expression too, and that’s probably why he got that straight man personality. He looks like he should be reciting Shakespeare on a real stage somewhere…

  9. Nice to meet you Chip!

    Hope you don’t end up going completely mad…

  10. Quirky Girl says:

    Seems Mitzi has a talent for taking even the most straightlaced character and tempting them to cross over to the dark side…

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