Meet The Ponies

Welcome to another soggy Thursday here at Nest HQ!  While I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll stop the rain… I may as well make the best of it and give you the lowdown scoop on another scandalous Shelf critter.  Or actually four.  This week, we’re putting the spotlight on the Hasbro portion of my comedy troupe and featuring all four of the ponies since they often appear together anyway.  I’m sure there’ll be bruised egos and and a lot of hoof shaped holes in my wall from those who’d rather not share the glory with their sisters…. but they’ll get over it.

It looks like the horseshoes are coming off…

NAMES: DJ Scratchy (aka Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ Pon3), Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack

SPECIES: AJ is a regular pony, while Scratchy and Twilight are unicorns.  Luna is a winged unicorn, and they have their own name… alicorn!  Did you know that?  I didn’t…

I am special, and you are NOT, peasants!

SHELF PERSONALITIES: The four mares are mostly a cross between what I know about their actual MLP personalities mixed in with a little of my patented Shelf fuckedupedness.  Scratchy is the cool and awesome one who has a knack for working song lyrics into her dialogue.  Luna is a goddess in the series, and pretends to also be one on the Shelf as well… leading to a holier than thou persona and attitude towards the “peasants.”  Twilight is the brainy one who usually makes the most sense of the four… but is more than capable of going along with the SCT silliness.  Applejack is a simple farm mare who talks like a country bumpkin and calls everyone Sugarcube (Stolen from the MLP universe)…

Bashful can probably tell you even more about them…

RUNNING GAGS: Scratchy usually plays the cool aunt of Tina, and finds out how much trouble it is to look out for a girl who is even wilder than she is.  Scratchy also likes to whip out the official “soundtrack” to Shelf Critter Theatre… a Kevin Eubanks cassette that looks and probably sounds cheesy…

Yo, dude! This is irreplaceable! Even Goodwill doesn’t have anymore in stock…

Luna is often on her high horse complaining about qualities the critters seem to have that she doesn’t remember giving out when she, as a goddess, was “creating” the Shelf.  During first season SCT episodes, she was sometimes cast opposite Uncle Sam as the losing half of an election I’m sure you know the results of.

Nobody was with her.

Twilight and AJ often appear together when not with the other two ponies, like when they hosted a pre-awards red carpet show.  Twilight has also taken on the schoolteacher role, giving her some additional solo appearances.

Yeah, the classroom’s come a long way since Our Miss Brooks.

But what the four ponies do best is serve as the mouthpieces for my world famous ability to mock the shit out of things.  When all four of these equines are together, you can rest assured they’re going to be using their wit and chemistry to mercilessly slice and dice whatever happens to be around…

Oh boy, Anthrocon must be in town…

ESN PREMIERE: Scratchy starred in the first ever live-action story I did for this blog, fittingly titled “Along Came Scratchy.”  The foursome made its first collective appearance in….. well, see below.

ICONIC SCT ROLES: “Mystery Pony Theatre 3000” was the first time I brought all four characters together, and it was, and still is their best performance.  Setting the tone for the four ponies’ ways of observational sarcasm, the mares were parked in front of my TV in the wee hours of the night while I snapped photos of random things that were airing at that ungodly hour, and I filled in their humorous responses to complete the post.

Almost as exciting as a scrambled porn channel!

WHAT’S IN A NAME?: Hasbro named their characters, not me…

WHAT ARE THEY?  WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?: Scratchy and Luna are both McDonald’s Happy Meal toys that were distributed about five years ago.  Scratchy came first, sent to me in May 2014 by ESN Hall of Fame follower Not A Punk Rocker (I don’t know if she currently has an active blog or not, but she does occasionally stop by to comment still).  After all the embarrassment excitement on my blog that I was now the proud owner of a My Little Pony toy, my Mom gave me Luna, who was just lying around her home collecting dust.  Twilight and Applejack came packaged together as cake decorations being clearanced from the Mecca bakery not long afterwards… and I scooped that pair up to complete the quartet.

They also make great pizza decorations.

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: Here’s an identical Scratchy to mine still in the wrapper for a way-more-than-a-Happy-Meal-costs $7.59!  The Princess will be pissed to see that she can be had for cheaper at just $2.50, if you don’t mind buying her “used,” whatever that means.

I couldn’t find anyone attempting to sell the Applejack and Twilight cake toppers I own, but I did find this video of a very happy pony fan who got to celebrate her 19th birthday with the pair…

If only she would have waited until they got discontinued like I did, she…. or her mom, wouldn’t have had to be out six bucks for a couple of cake sitting horses.

OK, that’s enough internet for today!

Join me again next Thursday as I’ll indecently expose yet another Shelf critter who’ll need to join me on the ark…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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17 Responses to Meet The Ponies

  1. Being a fan of equines, I especially love that your ponies are of the ‘slice and dice’ observational variety. Makes for loads of smiles.

  2. I have some very cool cake toppers made by madame Alexander in the 1970s (maybe 1960s, I don’t remember). I got a white bride and a brown husband, in case we ever needed to get married again. When we were getting married the first time, they asked us what color we wanted the bride and groom. I said “one of each” and they said they couldn’t DO that, they all came in linked pairs. I suggested painting the white groom brown with a pen and Garry said “NO BLACKFACE!” So we got bells.

    Now, I have the bride and groom, but we don’t seem to be getting married again. Damn.

    • Just another reason to have pony cake toppers since they come in all colors and do not discriminate. They’re also perfect for couples who need two brides or two grooms…

  3. the mama is a fan of poneehs!!! and I’m a fan of pizza… your decoration would make a good commercial for findus after they were blamed for horse meat in their meals….

  4. draliman says:

    They’re a right bunch when they get together, like old friends who suddenly fall back into a cheeky routine when they get together.

  5. A mini-herd of mini-horses was a mighty fine addition to the Shelf as well as (apparently) a pizza or cake! Multi-tasking, pony style…………


  6. Piglove says:

    aaww those are the ponies. Bashful told me about them. Oh my piggy heavens. He compared them to the singing group Pussycat Dolls. WOW. XOXO – Bacon

  7. Trisha says:

    I was horse crazy as a kid. I had a whole herd of plastic model horses and finally, after years of begging, a real pony. Now I prefer my critters smaller and furrier and I don’t really feel comfortable around horses. And still, there is something so appealing about those ponies! I’ve been tempted by them since they first came out.

    • Wow! You lived the dream of having your own pony! I’m not much on being around real horses, and prefer the replicas as well. It’s weird how popular the ponies have become, especially with males. I think there are more guys (ADULT guys) who like MLP than girls…

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