Meet Evil Squirrel

Each Thursday this year, I’ve given an unwelcome spotlight to one of the (cough) beloved characters in my Shelf Critter Theatre series of seriously demented plays.  For the final solo installment of this feature, who else would I choose but the “brains” behind this whole ridiculous operation.  The godlike critter who makes SCT happen whether you like it or not… the character for whom this blog was named after, Mr. Evil Squirrel.  Hold on to your nuts, here we go…

Not those nuts, stupid Troll….

NAME: Evil Squirrel

SPECIES: Grey squirrel

SHELF PERSONALITY: Evil Squirrel literally makes Shelf Critter Theatre happen.  He is the creative force that is responsible for coming up with the stories, casting the right actors into their roles, and deflecting the blame to those hapless critters when the episode gets roundly booed.  ES runs a tight ship and does not tolerate incompetence from his employees…

Get my executive washroom clean NOW before I make you use your tongue instead of this toothbrush…

RUNNING GAGS: Evil Squirrel does not appear often, but when he does, he can usually be seen at his computer, Quik Trip hernia jug full of soda by his side.  In some episodes, he literally has godlike powers over the individual critters who encounter him.  He particularly enjoys bossing around Troll, forcing him to do disgusting odd jobs to earn his keep.

You might not want to bother him, Troll…

ESN PREMIERE: The Evil Squirrel critter did not appear in any Nest production until the 20th episode of Shelf Critter Theatre “The Squirrel Upstairs,” where Troll confronts the formerly unseen boss over his shitty roles in SCT.  The other critters refuse to even speak their boss’ name, and are sure the Troll will be severely punished for daring to question their creator…

And be the butt of the SCT blooper reel at Evil Squirrel’s private parties.

ICONIC SCT ROLE: Without actually poring over all 48 episodes, I believe Evil Squirrel has only appeared in four stories before… with the first one being his only large role.  Since the executive producer’s filmography is rather short, I’ll just go ahead and list that ES’s only other acting credits are a cameo in “A Talentless Show,” playing God Himself in “The Most Horrible Story Ever Told,” and being the host of “The Cutting Room Floor.”

O Holy Squirrel.

WHAT’S IN A NAME?: That was answered in my first post if the month.  Look here

WHAT IS HE?  WHERE DID HE COME FROM?: Shelf Critter Theatre’s version of Evil Squirrel is the B side (Or A side, if you ask ES) of my Buster critter.  I already explained that in my post on Buster earlier in this series… but Evil Squirrel is the less frequently seen inside part of the Topsy Turvy amigurumi doll YoungAtFifty made as the winning entry in my very first Contest of Whatever.  It is somewhat of a pain in the butt to swap out Buster for ES (and vice versa)… and since Buster has a bit part in most episodes, I intentionally do not use ES as much as I might want to.  Which is fine… ES prefers to stay behind the scenes.

Bondage play with Mitzi should stay behind the scenes anyway.

CAN I GET ONE TOO?: Nope.  ES is a one of a kind squirrel, but of course you already knew that…

I’ll drink to that!

Come back next Thursday and meet the extras of The Shelf who pick up the slack for the main stars…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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16 Responses to Meet Evil Squirrel

  1. Nice to meetcha Oh Evil One!! 😀

  2. oh yes ES is unique and there is only ONE ;O) …but I would like to hear more about that bondage games… maybe it can appear in blogs published after midnight?

  3. ES appears to be a combo squirrel/dinosaur with that swishy tail and erect (oops…did I really say that?) stegosaurus-like protrusions along his back. I’ve got a note on my calendar to check on the 12th of Never after midnight for the premier of Fifty Shades of Grey Squirrel.


    • I honestly hadn’t noticed that the frilliness of the tail actually continues all the way up ES’s back before! Maybe because ES is usually displaying his Buster side. Part squirrel part stegosaurus would definitely be a weird and frightening hybrid!

  4. Nice to meet you officially, Mr. Evil. Please continue to be as Evil as you are. I need a shot of vileness every day in my otherwise bland and boring little life! I raise my insulated coffee cup on high in your honor. You have amused us, disgusted us, and made us laugh. What more could we ever want from anyone, evil or otherwise?

  5. I think all the critters on the shelf are one of a kind as are their ringmaster. Mr. Evil looks like some of the hoodlum squirrels tormenting, er living around my hood. 🐿

  6. franhunne4u says:

    And I thought, he looks a lot like Buster, now I know …

  7. draliman says:

    ES existing inside of Buster is actually pretty deep. Two halves of the same. Yin and Yang. And all that shit.

  8. OK, that’s just a bit weird, but also kind of cool at the same time, a reversible Buster/ES figure.

    I think the universe might just implode at you revealing this, though!

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