Hey! Who invited this fuzzball?

Oh, hello park visitor!  Nice day we’re having, isn’t it?  What’s that?  You plan on using this bench?  OK, but I was here first you know.  You’ll just have to wait until I’m done…. I’m sorry, did I read what?  The sign that on the front of this shelter that says “RESERVED?”  Sir, you do know I’m a squirrel, right?  I’m afraid I don’t know how to read your written human language.  Just who had the authority to say you could claim this bench as your own for some specific set time anyway?  The lady at the park district office?  Sir, please… that lady has no right to make me move off of my bench I’ve been resting on between chasing the ladies around and burying my nuts all day long.  Not necessarily in that order, mind you.  I’m just saying……. um….. ooooh, is that fried chicken in that basket?  You know, I think I could work out an arrangement that would satisfy both of us, kind human.  I’ll gladly share my bench with you for maybe a plate of that chicken….. oh my, those mashed potatoes look absolutely to die for!  Here, let me scooch over so there’s enough room for you and the whole family!  Who says people and squirrels can’t co-exist together?  They do in the world of Saturday Squirrel, I tell you!  Oh, could you pass that ketchup, please….

Have a great weekend everyone!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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17 Responses to Benchwarmer

  1. I love this post, have a great weekend too!

  2. Bold little mensch, isn’t it? Happy Saturday.

  3. draliman says:

    Truly a feast fit for a squirrel.

  4. ah this was awesome i’ve never read anything like it before. i love your writing style so much ♥️🌷

  5. it was hilarious.😂

  6. That guy is used to finding some great crumbs on that picnic table no doubt!

    Pam and Teddy

  7. Trisha says:

    Aw, what a cutie! I would be happy to picnic with that squirrel. I’m missing my little squirrel friends now that Gary keeps them chased away. They still visit the bird feeder out in the yard but it’s not the same as having them come right in the back door and take peanuts from my hand. So a Gary-free squirrel picnic sounds wonderful!

    • It’s too bad you lost the close bond you had with your squirrels… I always envied that since my squirrels never wanted anything to do with me. And it had nothing to do with my cats barking at them all the time since cats don’t do that…

  8. “Scooch on over and pass the mashed potatoes!” Now that is one smart squirrel!

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