EVERYONE: Happy birthday!!!
ME: What? You critters hang around me enough to know I don’t care about my birthday.
TROLL: But we care about it!
SNUGGLE: Damn straight we do, dude!
BEARCAT: Check out this awesome cake we made for you!
ME: That’s not a cake, it’s holiday treat carrier…
FUZZYWIG: It’s a birthday cake, dude. Use your imagination! And I made it with my very special cake mix. You can have a piece at 4:20…
CHIP: I just want to state for the record that I had nothing to do with any of this…
RAINY: You better appreciate what we did for you, or you’ll need to order an entire case of Glade spray for this hellhole of a room.
ME: OK, OK, fine. Thanks guys. How come the candle isn’t lit, though?
FUZZYWIG: I needed the last match to light something else…
SNUGGLE: Don’t worry about that, dude! We’ve got another surprise for you!
ME: Should I be worried?
ZEEBA: It’s, like, totally inside the cake!
BEARCAT: Now close your eyes and pucker up!
ME: Oh, I get it. You know, I think I’m a bit too old to be kissing stuffed unicorns…. but I guess if it will make you all happy, I’ll play along. I sure hope nobody’s watching this, I might get sent to the real nuthouse. (Closing eyes and puckering up) OK, Mitzi, let’s get this over with….
❤ SMOOCH! ❤
ME: GAH!!!! What the fuck!?!?!?
Lots of laughing can be heard
SNUGGLE: Yes! Sweeeeeeet revenge!!!
ME: You assholes!
CHIP: I told you, I had nothing to….
ME: Get your asses back on the shelf, NOW! Every last one of you!!!!
TROLL: (Working his phone) This is so going on Facebook!
Well, that was a shitty birthday surprise…. not that it’s been a banner day thus far anyway. I’ve already managed to somehow knock something out of whack in my left shoulder which has me in a world of pain, and why I didn’t feel like trying to come up with a more proper SCT story today. But oh well. I think I’m going to sleep this one off… and I better not have nightmares about Big Scrat. Where in the hell IS Mitzi anyway….?
MITZI: Are you, like, sure it’s your birthday today, squirrely whirly?
EVIL SQUIRREL: Of course it is, babe! I have a lot of birthdays every year…
MITZI: OMG, that’s, like, so cool! Are you totally turning 29 again?
ES: I had a number about 40 places higher in mind, hot stuff!