The Gizzard Of Blahs – Part II

Previous chapters: Part I

Mitzi Gale and her loyal mutt Fleabag race back to the farm, hoping to return in time to watch “Real Hosuewives Of Tittybong” with Auntie Ess.  Mitzi, as you might expect from a ditz, seems completely oblivious to the nasty storm brewing overhead…

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

MITZI: (Seeing that Fleabag stopped to bark at a possum) Puppy Wuppy!  We, like, totally have no time to be woofing at kyoot little critters along the road!

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! I WANT CANDY! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

MITZI: That’s not BARK! BARK! BARK!  That was, like, Bow Wow Wow’s song!

Just as Fleabag is about to pounce and infect the possum with his rabies, or possibly the other way around…..

MITZI: Uh oh Spaghetti O’s!

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! IT’S A TWISTER! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

MITZI: Like, we’ve got to really hurry home now before we totally get sucked up into that spinning Playtex!

Mitzi and Fleabag make a dash for it, with the powerful twister nipping at their heels!

Meanwhile, back at the farm….

RAINBOW DONKEY: This is going to hurt you a lot more than it’s going to hurt me, piggy.  But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do to get bacon….

SPONKIES: DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RD: Not now, kiddos.  Can’t you see I’m busy butchering this poor, defenseless animal?

SPONKIE 1: But Daddy!  There’s a…

RD: If I don’t bring home the bacon, your mother will have me sleeping in the silo again with all the wheat germ.

SPONKIE 2: Daddy!!!!! LOOK!!!!!!!!!

Rainbow Donkey drops his knife at the sight of the approaching tornado, allowing breakfast to get away….

RD: Well, that’s unfortunate.  Partly cloudy, my rainbow behind!  I guess we better go to the storm shelter I built to prepare for Y1.9K.  Come on, kids…

SPONKIE 1: We can’t go without Mommy!

RD: Why not?

SPONKIE 2: Daddy!!!!

RD: Sigh, I guess I won’t get any Carrie Underwood style sweet revenge.  OK, you two go fetch your mother and I’ll open up the cellar…

The two young sparklefoals quickly ran into the farmhouse to alert their mother to the situation…

SPONKIES: MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!!

SPARKLEPONY: Hush up, you two!  Can’t you see I’m trying to watch “Real Housewives Of Tittybong?”

SPONKIE 1: But Mommy…

SPARKLEPONY: ALONE… since your no-good cousin Mitzi decided to run off somewhere rather than keep her poor Auntie Ess company while she watches unreality TV…

SPONKIE 2: This is impossible, Mommy!  Television hasn’t even been invented yet!!!

SPARKLEPONY: Don’t go ruining this nice story with logic, young lady!  I’ll have you know….

EMERGENCY BROADCAST FOX: …………………………………..

SPARKLEPONY: Aw, dammit!  They always do these stupid tests when it gets to the really juicy part!

SPONKIE 1: Mommy!  There’s a tornado coming!  We have to get in the storm shelter right away!!!

SPARKLEPONY: What!?!?  Well, why didn’t you say so!?!?

Sparklepony grabs her dingleberry smoothie and follows her two spawn to the storm cellar to join Rainbow Donkey…

SPARKLEPONY: Wait a minute!  We can’t hunker down without Mitzi!  Where is she!?!?

RD: I’m sure she’ll be fine.  We have to save our own asses right now, dear…

Once all four members of the sparklecorn family are safely inside the shelter, Rainbow Donkey locks the door up tight…

No sooner had the cellar door been secured when Mitzi and Fleabag came running up the dirt path to the farm.  Alas, they were too late to take shelter….

MITZI: Like, open up the door Auntie Ess!!!  Uncle Donkey!!!

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! OPEN SESAME! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

MITZI: It’s, like, no use, Fleabag!  They totally can’t hear us with all of this wind and stuff!  We’ll have to run in the house and assume the position!

I’ll bet you like doing that, don’t you Mitzi?

MITZI: (From underneath the covers) Fleabag!  I’m, like, totally scared!  What if we die!?!?  YOLO and all!  Mitzi, like, can’t die a virgin!

Mitzi and Fleabag hunker down under the Hello Kitty pink covers in her bedroom as they hear the destructive storm outside rage so loud, they can’t even hear Jim Cantore’s live remote from the barnyard.  It sounds like the house is literally coming apart at the seams!

MITZI: Oh noes!  This, is, like a totally awkward time to be getting a case of the tingles down there!  Why does it feel like I’m riding in an elevator?

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! UP UP AND AWAY! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

Just then the bedroom widow blew out and gave Mitzi a great view of the darkened sky.  They were definitely moving up….. and around and around!

MITZI: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!  We, like, totally got sucked up by the sharknado!  This isn’t the kind of Twister I like playing!  What are we going to do, puppy wuppy!?!?

The two laid there helplessly under the covers, looking on as all kinds of other strange objects caught up in the tornado blew by…

MITZI: Well, this is, like, totally bazaar!  Oh noes!  Is that……????

MITZI: No way!!!  Miss Gulch, like, totally got herself a flying car!  I want one!!!!

RAINY: This is NOT a flying car!  There will never be a flying car!  It’s just wicked old me pedaling my old school bicycle.

MITZI: That is NOT a bicycle!

RAINY: Use your imagination, if you have one.  And now pretend my bicycle is morphing into a broomstick!

MITZI: Oh goody gumdrops!  Are you going to use it to sweep the clouds away?

RAINY: Who did you have to screw to land the starring role in this movie?  No, don’t answer that, I don’t want to know….

And with that, Rainy and her flying race c…. er, bic… ummm, broomstick exit stage wall cloud….

MITZI: I’m getting another case of the happies, Fleabag!  That means we must be falllllllllllllllllinnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg…….

The annoying sound effects of the brutal storm have stopped.  There is dead silence as Mitzi and Fleabag attempt to dust themselves off after their dramatic free fall from about 69 miles in the sky…

MITZI: Upsy daisy!  I think the twisty is gone now, puppy wuppy!  Now that we’re back on, like, terra cotta, let’s go outside and see what all got totally destroyed!

Mitzi and Fleabag open the door to their banged up farmhouse…..

MITZI: Holy ripped jeans, Fleabag!  The storm, like, made it rain color!

FLEABAG: BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! THANKS TED! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK! BARK!

The two survivors wander outside of the house, but it’s clear that the chromatic makeup of their world isn’t the only thing that’s different….

MITZI: Fleabag, I, like, totally don’t think we’re on The Shelf anymore….

TO BE CONTINUED….

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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21 Responses to The Gizzard Of Blahs – Part II

  1. oh that was thrilling!!!!… and we want a flying car too… in blue… ;O) and we are glad the fox said nothing this time, not even ringdingding or wapapapapow.
    the mama is very interested in that tittybong housewives show… is it available on dvd too?

  2. Oh the excitement! The shear (sheer?) terror! I guess they aren’t in Kansas anymore??? Can’t wait for Part Two (and more dingleberry smoothies…..:)…….).

    Pam

  3. Ally Bean says:

    Nicely done. I like the sepia-tone photos. The flying car is a nice touch, too.

    • Thank you. I’m hoping to get the Best Use of Photoshop in a Blog Movie Oscar this year. As for Best Use of Props in such a feature….. well, I think I’ll be punting that nomination.

  4. crimsonowl63 says:

    Absolutely riveting! I can’t wait for Part 3.
    So much suspense in this part. Will Mitzi & Fleabag make it to the farm & shelter? Will they be safe in the house? Where will they land?
    Just love it.

  5. Your production just gets more and more…um…I don’t even know how to describe it. But I LIKE it!

    • Well, there’s plenty of time for it to get even more…. well, I don’t know either. There’s still a lot more story to go, and the ideas I have to butcher this tale are far from exhausted!

  6. As the owner of three hysterically barking dogs, I can say that no matter how many times I see bow-wow as the oral emissions of canines, BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK is probably a more accurate rendition of doggy yelling. At least it is around this burgh.

    I love your color/not color variations. But is OZ going to be GREEN? Or just colorful.

    • Playing off the sepia/color transitions in the movie was a piece of cake… but given my lack of real scenery, I’d imagine the Emerald City… or whatever I’ll end up calling it… will look just as plain and left to the imagination as the farm was.

  7. draliman says:

    Yay, Mr Fox got another role! I was wondering if you were going to do the B&W to colour thing the original film did.
    Love the special effects – no expense spared. That one of the tornado with Buster getting sucked up is a classic.

    • I probably wouldn’t have thrown Mr. Fox in there again had you not specifically requested it…

      Buster getting sucked up by the tornado was, amazingly enough, a last minute inspiration. I can promise you Buster is going to have his usual very bad time during the run of this movie…

  8. Trisha says:

    “Now that we’re back on, like, terra cotta….” 😂 that caught me off guard and made me snort laugh!

    I’m very impressed by the sepia colored special effects. Buster getting sucked up into the twister was awesome!

    • I probably force too many of my Mitzi-isms, but I can’t help myself every time my dialogue calls for her to say a fancy word I have to see if I can think of something similar but incorrect. I was quite proud of that one, though, so I’m glad it got a snort!

      I plan on keeping the special effects top quality (or at least what would be considered top quality for SCT) for the remainder of the movie. It helps that I’m enjoying this parody so much that I’m doing the work a day early so I have time to make really cool Photoshop effects, and not trying to throw something together on a Friday afternoon when I really need to be going to bed…

      • Trisha says:

        I love the Mitzi-isms and I would think the land of Oz will provide some good inspiration for more of them!

  9. Merbear74 says:

    Uh oh Spaghetti O’s!!
    Seriously, this is great stuff, ES. Bravo on all of the hard work that you put into it, dude.

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