The Good Stuff

FUZZYWIG: Hey everyone out there.  Do you love music as much as I do?


FUZZYWIG: If you keep up that lousy racket, the only song you’re going to be singing is “Scenes From A Chinese Restaurant.”  So anyway…

SCRATCHY: Dafuq is this shit?  This is my feature, and it sure as hell doesn’t call for some stoned out of their gourd raccoon to be on stage with me!

FUZZYWIG: It does today, sweetleaf.  Evil Squirrel personally asked me to present the next song in his Top 420 Novelty Songs Of All Time countdown.

SCRATCHY: That’s Top THIRTY Novelty Songs… and if you think for one minute I’m sharing the spotlight with….

SPONKIE 1: Aunt Scratchy!  I hope we’re not late!

SPONKIE 2: Yeah, this is a little weird being here on a Tuesday.  I mean, it’s always Tuesday when he do this back in Australia, but…

FUZZYWIG: You, ummmm, might want to excuse the rug rats for the day, Miss Emocorn.  Parental guidance is suggested…

SCRATCHY: Errrrr, yeah, you heard the guy.  I won’t be needing your help today.

FUZZYWIG: Here (Kicking Fleabag towards the Sponkies) take this useless mutt with you and go play out in the street until we’re done.

The Sponkies and Fleabag exit Stage Right…

FUZZYWIG: Now that we’re all alone…

SCRATCHY: Don’t you get any funny ideas!  My mane is not pink like someone who I won’t name…

FUZZYWIG: Relax, toots.  You need something to mellow out.  And it just so happens…

SCRATCHY: Is that what I think it is!?!?

FUZZYWIG: Well, it sure as heck isn’t catnip.  Now, let’s make this feature all official and shit…

#21. “Because I Got High” – Afroman

SCRATCHY: I haven’t even gotten a toke yet, and already I’m having flashbacks!

FUZZYWIG: That’s because you featured this song last year, dearie.  If any of you want to read what ES had to write about this cherished anthem of mine, go ahead and dig in here.  Just don’t bogart the link…

SCRATCHY: Now, if I can find the needle to drop on the record through all this smoke…

FUZZYWIG: Now wasn’t that just soothing?

SCRATCHY: They say music can tame the savage beast, but it ain’t got nothing on this good stuff!

FUZZYWIG: Preach on, sister!

SCRATCHY: I’ll be back, I guess, next Monday to dive into the Top 20 of the countdown.  Unless I don’t show up because I got high…

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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18 Responses to The Good Stuff

  1. That is the perfect proof that getting stoned does NOT really improve your creativity. That sounds like my friends on a bad night in my old living room.

    • It’s the absolute height of mindlessness… yet I find it extremely entertaining. It was also a lot more shocking when it came out 17 years ago before the legalization movement really got going…

  2. Hmmm, nope doesn’t ring a bell and Im not sure who’s weirder, Afroman or the two accompanying clowns, Jay and Silent Bob.

  3. love it… and I want such an ice cream cone for my car…

  4. Now you’re talkin’ (or should I say tokin’ ?). While I have not heard this one I could certainly come up with a list of “I could haves” from back in the day. LOL So funny. I’m with easyweimaraner on the ice cream cone for my car.


  5. Trisha says:

    This may have been a novelty song 17 years ago but, in places like Seattle, most of the stuff it talks about is mainstream now! He wouldn’t have to fear getting busted for possession or anything. Just about every neighborhood has a dispensary. Ours is called The Kushery. 😂

    • I think every dispensary should have a statue out in front of it like the classic Indian in front of cigar stores…. only for the dispensary, it would be a statue of Fuzzywig enjoying his good stuff. Think of all the business it would attract!

      • Trisha says:

        I would like to see giant Fuzzywigs everywhere! Especially at the The Kushery to replace the stupid, green, skinny inflatable guy they have out by the road. Every time I drive by I wonder what it’s supposed to be. The inside of a joint, maybe?

  6. crimsonowl63 says:

    I definitely remember this song. The Good Stuff had not been sung about like this. Out in open! Oh my! The scandal, a step to the ruination of our youths!
    Okay, exaggerating a bit, but, I love the song.

    • It was a hell of an earworm back in the day and always good for a laugh. I think it would be remembered better had it not been at the peak of its short lived popularity when 9/11 happened… which got it yanked off the radio and it never recovered.

  7. draliman says:

    I have no idea why, but I do like that song. It’s like a bunch of chaps got high and then both wrote and recorded a song about it in their bedroom. It’s so deliciously unsophisticated.

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