Day 6: Well, That Sucks
SQUIRREL CHILD 1: Wow! What’s happening, Uncle Shadow?
SHADOW: I used my telekinetic powers to create a black hole behind Buster. He’s getting sucked into the singularity with a gravitational pull even light can not escape. He may be dead to us now, but he’ll never really die since time will crawl to a standstill from his perspective… leaving him to be painfully crushed into all of the other matter sucked inside for what he’ll consider to be an eternity. Buster, you see, has just achieved IMMORTALITY!
CHILD 1: COOL!!!!!!!!!!!
CHILD 2: I remember Gramma used to have a TV that did that when you turned it off!
CHILD 3: Yeah, sucked that black and white Spongebob down into a little single… singu…. sing hilarity.
CHILD 4: You guys were watching Gramma’s old TV? I was checking out Grampa’s Playsquirrels under the mattress!
LITTLEST: I’m telling Mommy!!!!!!!!
I was with you on the “painfully crushed” thing, but the “singularity with the gravitational pull” made my eyes cross.
I probably didn’t even get all the weird science right, as the grades I got in my physics classes would attest to. Just imagine Buster getting smashed into an infinitesimally tiny ball that contains the matter from a billion stars. That should give you happy thoughts instead!
How quickly they forget Buster’s unending torment and move to other things…
Just another day at the office for the Shelf Critter gang. I doubt this even made the newspapers…
yes that sucks literally… why the little ones are always the snitches?
Little brats! My sisters used to get me in trouble at school all of the time. And back when they could still swat your butt for being a naughty boy…
Well, I’m disappointed.
No blood today.
You’ll be disappointed the next day as well then. There are many great ways to kill off Buster without having to spill his guts everywhere and make the maid (Troll) upset…
I’ll just have to learn to live with the disappointment!!
Oh no, not the singularity with a gravitational pull even light cannot escape. *Sigh*
I’m sure Neil deGrasse Tyson would appreciate this entry, if he followed my blog…
That’s one death I never would have thought of. Very creative and sciency!
If anyone ever really got sucked into a black hole, it would be Buster. Hopefully the rest of the planet doesn’t end up going with him…