A Nut Flush

What could this photo of a girl holding a glob of slime possibly have to do with my #1 novelty song?

We’ve reached the end of the month… the end of the year… the end of the countdown.  But you know The Nest isn’t going to just give you the same old Auld Lang Syne.  No… on this final Monday of 2018, we’re going to give you the best, the greatest, the weirdest and the absolute funniest song of all time!  It’s time to present numero uno in our Top 30 Novelty Songs of All Time countdown!  DJ Scratchy’s got her best backless ballgown on, while the Sponkies are busy spiking the booze with punch.  And as is our favorite New Years Eve tradition in America, it’s time for the big ball drop…

#1. “Big Balls” – AC/DC

All three music countdowns I’ve presented on this blog have had something in common.  For each of them, I knew going in what song was going to be my #1… and built the rest of the countdown around that chart topper.  “Big Balls” is one of the best loved popular novelty songs in rock and roll… but that alone isn’t the reason I made it my top choice.  I am a born contrarian after all.  No, it is my favorite novelty song because it is a literal work of comedic genius.  Bon Scott may look like a lower lower class society dumbass and sound like a wounded hawk that flew into a windmill… but he knew how to milk a song full of nothing but testicle double entendres for all it was worth to create a song that will never fail to make people laugh when they hear it…

I hope he at least wore a shirt to those fancy balls he attended.

Bon and the boys recorded their magnum opus for their 1976 album Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap.  That album wasn’t released in the US until 1981 in the aftermath of Back in Black‘s success, after which “Big Balls” became a rock station favorite and is still a staple on most classic rock formats.  And believe me, I’m just itching to play “Big Balls” for you, but there’s just one problem that is even bigger than Bon Scott’s balls…

Ja! I vant those videos removed at vonce! Or you will all be shot in the balls!!!

At some point in the past few years, YouTube was apparently forced to remove all uploads of Bon Scott era AC/DC songs… leaving only what is on the band’s official account, and there are no Big Balls to be found there.  Yes… my number one novelty song of all time, and I can’t even embed a video of it for your enjoyment unless you want to listen to a shitty cover version like by…… oh, say Alvin and the fucking Chipmunks.

Edit 7/22/21: Fuck that Chipmunk shit!  AC/DC’s handlers have finally put the REAL version of this classic up for posterity…

Edit: You can now read the rest of this post pretending the fake version was still the only thing you could listen to…

This is a travesty.  Well, yeah, that squeaky version was a travesty too…. but the fact that people can’t listen to the original version of “Big Balls” on YouTube is an even bigger travesty.  That song is a worldwide treasure, and should be available for all humor loving people on this earth to enjoy at their leisure.  Whatever evil entity is behind the castration removal of AC/DC’s Balls from free services like YouTube has a nice, warm spot at the end of the highway to hell waiting for them!

I’m going to go ahead and blame Trump  and his Big Ball Wallfor this…

And….. well, that wasn’t quite the way I wanted to end this countdown.  I am pissed beyond belief at discovering that YouTube quite literally has no Balls.  What a kick to the nuts this development is.  Well, anyway I do hope you enjoyed The Nest’s novelty song countdown!  DJ Scratchy and the Sponkies will be bringing the Dusty Vinyl Archive back to its regular Monday morning slot starting next week.  This is Evil Squirrel’s Nest signing off for 2018…. Happy New Year everyone!

Can we change the name of this song to Big Nuts?


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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15 Responses to A Nut Flush

  1. Yep – a classic but why they’d remove THIS ONE from YouTube but leave some of the other incredibly questionable songs on is beyond me. Have to admit though, Alvin and his boyz do a good enough job in a pinch (ouch). It was a great Top 30 Novelty Song Countdown ANYWAY…..and a mighty HAPPY NEW YEAR to you and the Shelf !


    • I had embedded a Big Balls video a long time ago in one of my posts here… I was horrified to see they were all removed since then! No balls, no Happy New Year!

      I went in to playing that Alvin video half expecting to be surprised that I might actually like it… but no, it became awful in a hurry. There just isn’t anything that sounds good sung by critters on helium…

  2. Arlene says:

    I was in Jr. High School when that song it the air waves. And it was a very popular cassette tape to play in the Boom Box while waiting for the school bus ride home! Thanks for the memory and the best earworm to end the year on!!!!!

  3. Well nuts [pun intended]! Russians and supremists groups are welcome but not balls? Oh the irony. Happy New Year’s to our favorite squirrel lover from me, the Knucklehead and the Ninja. Cheers.

    • I guess you can’t copyright idiocy, but you can legally protect your balls from everyone. Somewhere out there is a copyright paralegal whose sole job is to scour the internet making sure nobody enjoys AC/DC’s Big Balls. Like the Grinch, I think his balls are about three sizes too small…

      Thanks and Happy New Year to you all!

  4. draliman says:

    The song I was hoping for and it’s been removed! Nooooo!
    Presumably the cute-looking little Alvin and co didn’t realise what they were singing about…

  5. Anti-Christ Devil’s Children has a version on YouTube that sounds like it is right out of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

    Fun choice. I liked your list because it was so unexpected. This was a fun series. I’m looking forward to what you’ll come up with next.

  6. And may your year be healthy, happy, and full of humor and laughter!

  7. Trisha says:

    Well, dammit! I was looking forward to listening to Big Balls. I thought maybe the giggles it induced would get me out of the bad mood that’s hijacking my head today. But, no, stupid YouTube! It may not be their choice, but I was already mad at them for inserting super-long commercials into my videos, so I’ll blame them. Stupid YouTube! Great choice for #1 though!

    • That had me fuming when I found there was no video of the real Big Balls! Ad Block’s taken care of YouTube ads for me… I’ve actually forgotten all about them since I haven’t seen one in almost two years! Hopefully with the lack of balls, the Sandys will at least help to ease up your bad mood…

  8. ghostmmnc says:

    I really enjoyed the novelty song countdown! Sorry it ended on a sour note. I don’t think I’d ever heard the song before…and the Chipmunks, well, I could barely understand what they were saying. Oh well… still, I sure appreciate you putting together these most entertaining posts. 🙂

    • I don’t know if there’s a free recording of it that exists out there somewhere, but if you’ve never heard it before you simply must at some point! It is pure gold. There’s a few other non-Chipmunk cover versions on YouTube with easier to understand lyrics…. but nothing can ever top AC/DC’s original!

  9. One of my absolutely favorite songs by AC/DC! It is so much fun to sing!!! Happy New Year oh evil one!! ❤ 🍻

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