Remember that “Sharing is Caring”… or the Care Bears will kick your ass.
It’s time for The Nest’s newest Tuesday feature where we don our virtual hipster sunglasses and answer Melanie B. Cee’s ever popular Share Your World prompt for this week! After all the fun I had last week, of course I was going to come back for more. Time for a pop of color on this drab blog…
This is your world on drugs. Any questions?
1. You’re walking in a forest and you find a black suitcase. Inside it is one millions dollars and a piece of paper, stained in blood and bearing the single word “Don’t!” Would you take the suitcase home or leave it?
Is this million dollars tax free? (eye roll emoji)
Evil Squirrel! You behave yourself now!!!!
Hell yeah I’d take the suitcase! The money is useless. The serial numbers are no doubt consecutive and traceable by law enforcement… and probably splattered in the blood of innocent victims. In American currency, there’d have to be at least 10,000 individual bills crammed in that thing… that’s a lot of jack to try to fit in your wallet. I’d definitely dump the money out onto the ground. But you never know when you might need a nice, evil looking black suitcase that could have belonged to a James Bond villain. I’ll bet it’d make a top notch Shelf Critter Theatre prop…
Perfect for storing dead possums…
2. Imagine you lapsed and cheated on your partner. You feel horrible and you know you’ll never do it again, because the feeling is so awful. Would you confess?
MITZI: Like, hai all you cutey patooties out there! I’m, like, Mitzi the Bimbocorn… and since Evil Squirrel totally doesn’t have any partners to sneak around on, I’m going to pretend to totally be his honey boo boo! Now, Mitzi’s a girl who believes in, like, doing your own thang! So I’d totally be okie dokies with mister squirrely whirly, like, having sexay times with other girlies. Or boysies. Or bothsies. Whatevs. Mitzi would, like, never judge!
But Mitzi’s, like, still going to keep your cheating ass tied up, just in case!
3. Would you live your life differently if nobody ever judged you for anything you did?
Everyone would live differently if our species were not a naturally judgmental one. I refuse to believe there is anyone out there (at least who is currently sober) who isn’t at least somewhat self conscious of what other people would think about certain aspects of them. Then again, I’m broadcasting to the world that I play with stuffed critters on my blog and give them all kinds of strange and messed up personalities…
Come with us to the padded room, Mr. Squirrel. My men in white coats will never judge your crazy ass!
4. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? No? What would you call it?
Who needs wings to fly? Flying squirrels don’t have wings. Helicopters don’t have wings. Maybe a fly would still fly if you were cruel enough to remove its wings rather than just splat the thing with that icky plastic flyswatter that’s hanging in the kitchen by the 1980’s telephone with the 50 foot long cord. If you took the bell out of that telephone, would you still say it rang? Nevermind… phones don’t actually ring anymore and yet they still “ring”…
They don’t make ’em like they used to, huh Art?
Non-numbered bonus Pollyanna question: What’s something that brought joy and lightness of being to you this past week?
Seeing the results of all the scared little sheep in my town panic buying last Thursday and Friday due to an impending snowstorm. With all of the bread, milk and eggs we sold over the past few days, there’s going to be a LOT of french toast made over the coming week. At least, I’d assume that’d be the case since people seem compelled to buy a two months supply of all three staples anytime it threatens to snow for some bizarre reason…
Get used to it, kid. You’ll be having it for breakfast until St. Patrick’s Day. And it should be the proper color for the occasion by then…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
clever!!! they sold a suitcase at christies for 600k pounds… and that is SURE taxfree moneeh :O)))
That would be great if the suitcase was worth more than the money inside of it. And that would be tax free since I don’t think my government would tax pounds…
Great post 🙂
Thank you!
Good thinking with the suitcase but I would have alerted the cops – there’s usually a reward for money you found.
Possibly… although then I probably wouldn’t get to keep the nifty suitcase since it would be held as evidence.
A million dollars would get you a finder’s reward of about 3K – enough for a good suitcase AND then some more
You are knocking this Share Your World thing out of the ballpark so far. I’m with you on #1, as for #2 – CONFESS? Are you kidding??, #3 I totally agree although as I get older I care less about what others think….at my age it’s all about me (!), and for #4 you forgot to mention the taco shell shortage when there are snow warnings. Tee Hee
Pam
I did forget to mention the rush on taco shells… though I would have probably had a hard time on Google coming up with a good closing image of a kid eating french toast in a taco shell!
Love your responses to the SYW questions, and those Shelf Critters always have something funny and snarky to say!
They do. I think the critters are going to enjoy this challenge even more than I do…
Snow storms seem to bring the hoarder out in most people.The one day I think I need to get milk is the same day all the shelves are bare following a storm. 🥛
It took a few days for the cooler area of our store to recover from the hoarding and we are now back to having overstock bursting out of the backroom again. But if you wanted an egg this Sunday, you’d better have had your own chicken…
Forget the snow storms, we’ve got people in this country stockpiling in case Brexit goes bad. Or worse. There’s a company selling Brexit boxes for £300 a pop which include “fire starting” materials. Like, this isn’t the apocalypse. I’m sure there’ll still be electricity after “no deal”…
I don’t know what gets into people who buy into these strange apocalyptic scares. How did people survive in the days of Henry VIII telling the EU…. er, Vatican to buzz off? I think I’m going to start building up a cache of survival goods just in case WordPress ever takes away the old editor…
You know there are “ringtones” that sound like those old eighties phones. I use it for all my non contact list calls. 😀
I’ve heard those… though the sound’s still not made from an actual bell like those big, bulky landline telephones of days past. So phones still “ring” even though the original meaning is long lost…
ody N biskit…..if we waz in de forest N finded a soot case we wood wunder how de bee jezuz we waz abe bull ta sneek outta de houz with out bee in seen 😉 N sinz we epic failed at math we wood prob ablee use de open soot case aza litter box ~~ 🙂 ♥
That sounds like a great idea! The money would make an excellent place to bury your business…
I’m very touched that the Squirrel opted to Share His World with others. It gives me a warm fuzzy right in the heart. ‘Course that could be heart burn from scarfing three Entenmann’s mini fruit pies…
I’m curious about one thing in the Pollyanna response. Do those folks hoarding the eggs and milk and bread realize that the first two won’t be edible in about three weeks (the milk will expire sooner), and frozen bread is just wrong…it never tastes quite right. Me? I hoard T.P. Hey if the end of the world as we know it is coming, I want a clean undercarriage!
They had put signs up on all of the milk coolers that said “Due to weather conditions, limit 15 gallons per customer.” 15 gallons!?!? Who would ever need that much milk at one time!?!? Other than the small store owners who use our store as a wholesaler, but that’s another story. I have no idea what all is going to be done with the very perishable goods that were stocked up on this past weekend, but I’ll bet a lot of it eventually goes to waste. Really, the worst imaginable snowstorms aren’t going to shut down a city for more than a couple days in these modern times… who needs all THAT to get through????
1. I’d turn it in to the police. If nobody claims it after a year or two it is mine to keep. Suitcase too.
2. Cheating is way too much work. Seriously, who has time for that? But if I did (which I would not because I’m married) I would NEVER tell. I’d also lock my cheetie in a crypt or throw him down a deep well so he’d never tell. Or I’d bribe him to keep quiet with the bag of money I found in the woods. Wait, was that his blood on the note…
3.Yes
4. No. They’re flies who have had the misfortune of running into some asshole kid who like to torture things. If you don’t like flies just squash em quick. Don’t torture them. That makes you as bad as they are.
5. Lightness and joy. Right now my calico cat is sleeping in a chair near by purring and snoring at the same time. She is sooooooo cute. That brings me joy. It is also raining. I live in Drought Land so that brings me a lot of joy. I haven’t been getting much sleep this week so I’m having a lot of lightness.
This was fun. Let’s do it again!
Way to connect #1 and #2! Poor flies. Wait until they morph into giant fly creatures and rip the arms off the asshole kids. And YAY for cats and rain! Well, not so much the rain here… you all are more than welcome to it.
LOL I used to work in a supermarket and remember the snow panic buying. And it starts here as soon as someone sees one snowflake 😁👍
Depending on where one lives, as soon as someone sees one snowflake is already too late. It’s not safe to drive in the streets with one snowflake on it!!! I learned to loathe the southern states’ attitude towards winter weather one year when I got stranded in Oklahoma due to a freak March ice/snow storm that hit the morning I was supposed to return home. I knew the exact moment I hit the Missouri border due to the drastic improvement in road conditions on the highway!
🙃 well it hardly ever snows much in Norfolk UK where I live, so people are not used to it at all. So one snowflake is usually one snowflake but panics people out badly. But on the other hand councils do not have the proper equipment either and streets are tiny here so a little snow wreaks quite a bit havoc. I am from the South of Germany and family lives in Switzerland so I am used to different winters and know how to drive in snow and ice. That is why it amuses me so much. I try to be compassionate but the older I get the harder I find it. 🙋
I think the older you get, the less you give a shit what anyone says about you — or much else, either. It’s probably the only really GOOD part of getting old — being able to ignore the assholes.
The part of the brain that houses our inhibitions must decay pretty rapidly with old age…
“Sharing is Caring… or the Care Bears will kick your ass.”
Aww, man. That line would really have come in handy when my boys were a bit younger. I don’t suppose it’ll carry the same weight for a couple of teenagers… but that probably won’t stop me from giving it a shot. 😛
One does not outgrow the Care Bears! Just hint to them that they’ll look really silly if one day a bunch of cute little bears with hearts on their tummy start beating them up for not sharing…
Love your answers. I’m not sure I understand the bread/milk/egg thing either. Well, bread maybe. PB&J sandwiches can get you through. But I’m often worried about the power going out, and no power means no access to the fridge so what good are those eggs and milk doing you?? Mysteries…