Mercury Poisoning

Welcome to another edition on the blog feature where one person’s digital trash is going to turn into my creative treasure.  It’s time to conjure up another picture and give it the Random Image Inspiration treatment!  Since I got a snow day (snow night?) from work Friday, I’m going to put extra that time to use by putting this entire thing together in the wee hours of Saturday morning.  The random numbers, please….

15, 50, 65, 43

The allegedly random numbers at random.org sure seem to come up with a lot of multiples of five.  Oh well, here’s how those four numbers played out four days ago…

The 15th post in my Reader was this one by Pam and Teddy

The 50th word in that post is “I”

The 65th word in that post is “it’s”

Well, that’s pretty generic, huh?  Who knows what that will bring up….

Typing “I it’s” into Google Image Search brought this up as the 43rd result….

First off… since I’m writing this four days before it actually posts, I sincerely hope nothing actually happens to Queen Elizabeth before this goes live.  That would be very awkward…

You better damn well believe it would be, squirrel!

This may be an album cover from The Smiths, but I’m going to use a different band as my inspiration…

Spare us out lives from this monstrosity.

Queen is fine.  I mean, their songs are mostly alright.  I could honestly stand to never hear “Fat Bottom Girls” again in my life.  I admit to never being a fan of “We Will Rock You” or “We Are The Champions.”  ‘Bohemian Rhapsody” and “Another One Bites the Dust” are starting to wear awfully thin due to the excessive overplay.  But other than all that, you know, they’re still….. alright.

Congratulations to Queen, the latest winner of the ambivalent Meh Award…

Unfortunately for my music listening pleasure, Queen airplay has been trending in the opposite direction of what I’d prefer.  Thanks to some movie about the life of Freddie Mercury that was a huge hit late last year, their music has become trendy again… and radio stations think we want to hear even more of the same songs they’ve been shoving down our throats since the legend of the leotard originally died in 1991.  I’ve about had my fill of the same five Queen songs getting played everywhere there’s an atmosphere conducive to carrying sound waves, and I’m getting sick and tired of the questionable lionization of Freddie Fucking Mercury…

You’re just jealous, bitch!

It’s like three years ago when Prince took his last ride on the purple elevator.  Another overplayed musician who I didn’t particularly care for had now suddenly become the greatest performer since The San Diego Chicken and I had to listen to “When Doves Cry” and “Kiss” until that whiny little Prince voice made my eardrums rupture.  Just stop it.  Prince wasn’t all that, and Freddie Mercury wasn’t all that either.  Anyone can dance and prance around on stage like a lunatic after raiding their sister’s wardrobe.  That’s what the glam era was all about.  But to do so in front of millions of people while sporting the world’s cheesiest porn mustache and looking like you’d just spent the last ten hours lifting weights in a sauna is just too much.  Hell, it took a third rate Saturday Night Live skit like”Wayne’s World” just to put you back on the map in the 90’s after you were on the long road to being forgotten.

Everything sounds better when you’re stoned out of your mind…. so I’m told.

So to those out there who are trying to prop up the Mercury mystique while also hoping to rake in a bunch of cash off the sweat covered back of a dead man…. please go find something else to do.  Freddie and Queen are fine as ambient noise in the background of music history.  But they weren’t the second coming of The Beatles… or even The Platters.  When it comes to the Bohemian Rhapsody fueled resurgence in Freddie Mercury’s popularity… I will be very glad when the Queen is finally dead.

Drag queens never die, honey! They just have to eventually use the men’s room!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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18 Responses to Mercury Poisoning

  1. it’s sad that the music became elevator music… although Radio Gaga is the perfect song for the waiting line of our health insurance…

  2. All overplayed music grates across one’s tolerance level. No matter who the artist is. For me, Elton John usually makes me run out of a room.

    • The best Elton John songs rarely get played. I absolutely DETEST Rocket Man and Tiny Dancer… and they’re the two Elton songs the station listen to loves to play all the time. Kids today probably think the classic artists of the 70’s and 80’s only had a couple big songs… oh, and the Beatles had a couple of hits!

  3. Ally Bean says:

    I’m not entirely sure how you got from the random numbers to disliking Queen but I defend your right to get there. I kind of like Queen, but I agree that it is background music. No problem with that, not everybody can be Eric Clapton. 🎸

    • This is a new feature I started at the beginning of the year for Wednesdays (this is the third installment) where I use a random photo as the inspiration for that day’s post. A very short explanation of what’s going on is that I have a random number generator pick four numbers for me. Those numbers give me (1) a post in my Reader, (2 and 3) two words to pick from that post, and (4) which image result I’ll use after entering those two words into Google Image Search. One of these times, it could be a post of yours that starts the chain… and hopefully it will be better than this one was. I have yet to top the premiere of this series…

  4. I think you did a good job myself but honestly – my favorite thing sure isn’t the photo of Mercury OR Queen…..the BEST part of the post is that totally hilarious photo of John Candy. There will never be another “Candy Man”. Sorry the post that was ours was so boring by the way – “I” and “it’s” aren’t exactly good SPRINGBOARDS to an interesting post!

    Pam

    • “Armed and Dangerous” is one of those goofy 80’s movies we recorded off HBO on our primitive VCR back in the day and watched over and over. Me, one of my sisters and my Dad (when he was around) would always take any chance we could get to make a reference to that movie… especially THAT scene where he dresses up in drag! Best part of the whole movie!

  5. draliman says:

    Alright? ALRIGHT? Jeez. I agree about Freddie Mercury’s porn moustache though. What was he thinking?

    • Alright. Meh. I’m not gonna change the station, but I’m not gonna get up and dance either. Porn ‘staches are just creepy. He looked like the British version of John Oates…

  6. I think I’m not feeling well. The idea of listening to music or doing ANYTHING is overwhelming. And I’ve got the cardiologist tomorrow. And my son is sick. Uh oh.

  7. Bee Halton says:

    😂 last time I checked the news Liz was still alive. However, her fate might have drowned in the political chaos Brexit is currently causing….and I see two snowflakes outside 😁 so who knows 😎.

  8. Quirky Girl says:

    Would you believe I had no clue that song was called Fat Bottom Girls? I knew the rhythm and melody…but apparently not the actual words. 😛 😛

  9. Hmm… nope, got nothin’ today! 😘

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