It’s colder than a freezer burned fox out there…
Welcome to the first day of polar vortexmageddon everyone! Apparently we need more government interruptions to keep the news people who keep us “informed” from wetting their pants over outrageous events like winter weather occurring during the month of January. Lucky for you, The Nest doesn’t resort to such wild dramatizations of the world around us (unless it involves me putting together a hilarious critter play). Let’s play along with Melanie again and share my world with you! Don’t worry, I’ve had my cooties vaccine. Bring on the Four Planets!
That third globe… that’s what it’s gonna look like outside tomorrow!
Are you thin or thick skinned? Are you easily offended or tend to let it just roll off your back like a duck does with water?
Thick. Very thick. I don’t get thin skinned people at all. I’m as fucked up as they come, and yet I can laugh and make fun of just about any part of my physical or mental being you please, and enjoy when others get a clever rib in at me. Being someone whose humor sweet spot is in the widely beloved field of mockery, me and thin skinned people tend not to mix very well. I don’t take myself seriously, and I don’t expect you to take yourself seriously too. Get over yourself already!
I’m ugly, you’re ugly, we all look like the ass end of a possum!
How important are morals in a healthy society? What are the most important morals for citizens to have?
I’m one of those weird people who think morals are kind of a personal thing. One of the reasons you won’t ever see me in the middle of a dreaded political discussion is because I’d be the guy who’d push the two parties apart while telling them they’re both beautiful… and both full of shit. We all have our own reasons for believing in our own sense of right and wrong, and we’ve mostly gotten along OK for the past hundred thousand years. I just don’t put a lot of faith in universal morals… whether they come from ye olde religion that is pounded by the right, or from the modern social norms that are bestowed upon us by the left…
And you know my morals leave something to be desired anyway.
What will your epitaph be?
Except for those damned possums…
French toast, pancakes or waffles?
I remember making french toast as a kid… which was only edible if it was smothered in so much powdered sugar that it would take the rest of the day to work off the sugar high. I still occasionally make store brand waffles… and just like my toast, I want them looking just like this:
Better push it back down for a few minutes… looks like they might still be a bit soft in the middle.
What were you grateful for this past week?
I am quite grateful to Melanie for spreading the word about this year’s Contest of Whatever, as well as anyone else who shared the good news with your peeps! The little Facebook box on that post has a blue circled 13 in it, which I guess means there’s been a lot of sharing going on. Thanks everyone! I can’t wait to see all the great entries this year’s CoW yields…
It’s five and a half years old, but it’d be a valid entry, by golly!
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
oh great that the nuts will be rest in pieces at a secret place… that is important oh yes!
Nobody would dare mess with a dead squirrel’s nuts…
apart from someone who is nutorious nuts…maybe justin, but he will die then right?
Thanks for Sharing Your Squirrely World with us, E.S.! Now, I’m not sure if it is deliberate, and far be it from me to try to yammer on about morals or what one might post on their blog for all the world to see, but what’s with that extremely obese naked man in the lower right of the screen (well on MY computer anyway) on your post? My eyes can’t unsee that, and I’m sort of intrigued as to how one would find anything, ummm, INTERESTING to play with anyway! Not hatin’ mind you, I’m a fattie if not proud, but my gawd. Some things should NOT be looked at. On second timid glance, he has shorts on (apparently). An expert on XXXXXXX is what he claims to be. Well if so, it’s because his hands are extremely muscular IMHO, They’d have to be, Madam Palm and her five sisters getting the work out they do.. Wow. Um. Well uh, isn’t this a bit awkward now? Thanks again Squirrel! My contribution to your C.o,W will be forthcoming shortly too. 😉
One of the fascinating bits of unintentional humor I get out of this blog is looking at the search terms listed in the Stats page that brought users here from search engines (If you ever want to witness my humor on crack, check out “The Sandy Awards” under Fun Stuff in my header). Anyway, I’ve noticed that certain search terms can get sticky with your blog that are completely unintentional… and so it was that the legend of “xxxxxxxxxxxl man” was born. That specific term “xxxxxxxxxxxl” has gotten my blog a whopping 4,107 hits thus far (And I haven’t updated it in about a year), and the sole reason was that I used that image in a post and the caption contained the magic string of eleven x’s followed by an l. Don’t ask me, but I found it amusing, and declared The Nest the official internet expert on “xxxxxxxxxxxl” because of that, and thought it would be fun to advertise it on my sidebar…
Wait……yeah you DID enter your own contest with that flash from the past at the end (which was a goodie then and now)! I think you should enter it – if you win, you can pick something from MY Cafepress store valued at $20 – how’s that. Now, where was I…oh yes….as you are sharing your squirrely world with us, I find that your responses are just what I would have guessed they would be. Funny how you get to know someone that well through their blog isn’t it.
Pam
You know that evil squirrel is the judge?
Yep – sounds like the rest of us who enter will have grounds to sue him for favoritism….or something like that if he votes for himself. OR, our entries will just have to be DOUBLY DARN GOOD.
A possum walks into a bar and dies.
Says the unicorn barkeeer: “I told the owner a thousand times he shouldn’t have installed the bar at this height.”
No, this is not an entry!
Of course it’s not an entry…. there’s no squirrel.
Yes, though that could easily be amended.
I think it’s kind of been tradition for me to create a sample entry somewhere along the way dating back to CoW III when I made the Kill Buster poster. Somewhere along the line during SCT, which I’ve been neglecting the past few weeks, I’ll probably do a take on my own contest…
Waffles. That’s my answer.
As they say on Family Feud…. good answer!
Oh no, poor Mr Fox!
Gosh darn, I’ve spent the last week trying to erase all internet mention of the COW so that I would win by default and now someone goes and publicises it…
Nobody has ever won multiple prizes… let alone both prizes in one year. I see what you’re up to…
Oh shit, I’, just finding out about this now? Geez ass, I’m such a slacker.
You can’t out-slack me no matter how hard you try!
Your epitaph is hilarious! I have a couple of friends who like burnt toast also… something about the taste they say. Happy Friday!
I love to push in the center of the bread when I toast it, so that you get a hard, crunchy middle like a cracker. I thought I had to be unique in doing that until some lady at work told me her son was weird like that too…
Well we already knew YOU were weird. Isn’t nice to know you aren’t the only one? 😂
I like your answers. I’ll have to add “teach your kids not to be thin skinned pukes” to the parenting rules on my blog. Maybe I’ll leave out the word pukes.
Pukes is a much nicer word than I would use in that sentence. Then again, you will never see me giving out parenting advice. I was probably lucky not to get sold to the circus as a kid.,.