Crush Hour

It’s time for our weekly Wednesday exercise in who knows what in the hell I’ll have to write about… Random Image Inspiration!  Let’s see what numbers were chosen for me today…

12, 55, 63, 65

The 12th post in my Reader was this one by Quirky Girl.

The 55th word in that post is “crush”

The 63rd word in that post (wrapping back around to the beginning) is “finally”

My goodness, the memes!  Apparently getting some kind of action with an old crush is popular meme material…

Putting “crush finally” into Google Images returned this as the 65th 66th result (The 65th image was some poorly cropped crap)…

BUB: Hey Troll!  You ever have a crush on some chick in high school you never asked out?

TROLL: Yeah.  The entire female population of the high school.  Even the team mascot.

BUB: Wasn’t your school home of the Fighting Sheep?

TROLL: Don’t judge me, OK?  So I have a fleece fetish.  But there was one girl in particular who I kinda dug…

BUB: I knew it!  I’m finally digging up the courage to ask out my old high school crush!  Wanna see if we can make it a double date?

TROLL: I don’t know… she never talked to me.

BUB: Well, let’s see if we can change that!  Come on, let’s track down our old crushes and show them what they missed out on!

BUB: Ooooh!  There’s the apple of my eye that led to many emergency hall passes to the boys’ room back in the day!

TROLL: She’s way out of your league!  You don’t stand a chance…

BUB: Nothing ventured, nothing gained!  Hey, baby!

MITZI: Like, who are you kyootie wootie?

BUB: I’m the guy you went to high school with that peed in the punch at the prom and put the entire senior class in the hospital… remember me?

MITZI: Like, totally!!!  I think.  Heck, Mitzi doesn’t even care!  Wanna do it?

BUB: See how easy that was, Troll?  I’m gonna score with the girl voted Most Likely To End Up On Jerry Springer!

TROLL: Wait until she finds out you don’t have a weewee….

TROLL: Damn, they make prosthetics for everything these days!  I better quit watching before I poke a hole in my jammies.  Time to work some of that magic on my biggest crush!  Oh, there she is!!!!!!!!!!

TROLL: Hiya, toots!  Say, do you remember the guy who put that KICK ME sign on your back outside of the chemistry lab?  Yeah, that was me… and I only did it because I wanted your attention!  So whaddaya say, babe?  Think we can hook up?

RAINY: How in the hell did you find me?  What are you, some kind of stalker who plans on murdering me and burying my precious rain gauge in your crawlspace?

TROLL: No!  I just wanted…. maybe a date?

RAINY: HELL NO!

TROLL: Ummmm, your phone number?

RAINY: Since you apparently think much more of me than I ever will about you, how about I give you something to remember me by?

TROLL: Oh goody!  A souvenir of love that was never meant to….

Rainy stomps off as Bub returns from meeting his crush…

BUB: So, how did it go, Romeo?

TROLL: I think she rejected me.

BUB: I don’t blame her with the way you stink.  Try washing those pits next time!

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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13 Responses to Crush Hour

  1. draliman says:

    We’ll, they both had 100 percent chance one way or the other…
    I couldn’t get to this post yesterday, it had some crazy link. But I persevered!

  2. Unrequited love – such a sad state of affairs! Bub gets his wish and Troll has some pajama repairs to do.

    Pam

  3. Ally Bean says:

    Trippy. I thought I commented here, but now I see I didn’t. Where did that comment go?

    • Beats me. WordPress seemed to have a number of issues with this post for some reason. it’s kind of late for them to be blocking people from my posts due to poor taste…

      • Ally Bean says:

        Every once in a while the same thing happens to me. It’s as if WP doesn’t like what I’ve written and is trying to save me from my worst self. I dunno…

  4. The Cutter says:

    One time I was drinking in my parents’ basement and my dog got sprayed by a skunk, so I had to wake up my parents and we all washed him off with tomato sauce while I tried very hard not to act drunk. #ILikeStories

  5. All my crushes proved they should have stayed in fantasy land. Nothing worse than being disappointed by a crush. Sigh.

  6. It was buried in a gigantic pile of yesterday’s posts I got today.

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