Share Your World – Week 10

Beware the Ides of March, and all that shit…

I don’t often share things…. but when I do, I share my world.  And that only happens on Tuesdays after the SYW hostess Melanie posts some new questions for us to ponder and prattle over.  Go ahead and try it for yourself… even if that makes me a cheap shill.  And now it’s time for that graphical representation of the non-America part of the world…

You’ve come a long way, Pangea…

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

If I might digress before I even answer the question… this reminds me of the time I visited my urologist a few years ago and was caught off guard when the doctor himself was calling patients from the waiting room to the back.  It’s the only time I have EVER seen that at any doctor’s office I have ever been to.  I’m guessing the nurse called off and the doc, being the cool guy he is, just decided he’d take over the duties himself rather than inconvenience any of the other staff.

Anyway, this question reminded me of that incident because I guess if St. Peter ever called in sick… God would have to man the Gates Himself to keep the line from backing up…

That just sounds like a very God thing to do…

And to answer the actual question……. well, I’ll take the same explanation for why Buster keep returning to die another day:

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Well… to continue with my digression from above, try passing one of these through your peehole…

At least you’ll get a cool souvenir for all of your trouble.

If we’re talking mental misery…. I don’t know.  I don’t ever feel that way.  I have a life that would make most people miserable… yet I’m perfectly happy and content with it.  I can’t explain it…

What do you think about when you’re alone in your car?

The same random, short attention span theater that keeps my mind occupied any other time.  Anyone who is a creative type of person can attest to what it’s like to suddenly get a huge burst of amazing inspiration… and the fact that it can strike at almost anytime.  It also can’t just be put on the back burner if there are more important things for your mind to have control over at the time.  I’ve had a few of those while I’m driving down the interstate at 70 miles per hour, and it’s not easy imagining Buster’s next gruesome death without ending up living it yourself…

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have a smartphone, or I’d really be distracted trying to post my idea…

How would you rate your memory?

I remember all kinds of insignificant and useless things with the instant recall of Rain Man.  Yet I’ll forget where I put my keys the minute they leave my hand.  People seem to believe I have a good memory because of all that peculiar information I can recall years after it happened, but that’s not quite how it works.  I’d forget my ass if it wasn’t attached to me with duct tape…

I forgot what I was going to put in this caption of Forgetful Jones…

What’s one song that always cheers you up, no matter how blue you’re feeling?

There’s so many happy-making songs for me… and I describe many of the tunes I feature on Mondays as just that.  I’ll just pick one…. something I haven’t posted yet in a Monday Muzak post.  Here’s a recent song that will get cranked up and sung very loudly to whenever it comes on the radio (Alternate answer to #Question 3!)….

Since the traditional gratitude question was absent from the list this week…. it’s time for The Nest to bestow some more sarcastic gratitude on someone or something that so richly needs to be punched in the proverbial dick.  You know what the only thing worse than fucking Daylight Savings Time is?  Clocks that can’t be manually set…… like the one in my car that only this morning…. 50+ hours after the gummint came and stole an hour from us on Sunday…. FINALLY decided to get with the program and display the “correct” time.  While I don’t like having to set clocks…. dammit, I still want control over what time they display!  I know better than some nuclear powered Swatch in Colorado what damned time I’d like to see Mickey’s hands at!  Thanks a lot, clock nazis…

Go fuck yourself, Squirrel Boy.

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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12 Responses to Share Your World – Week 10

  1. I think god would welcome you with good muzak… and what’s better than to play Believer for you ?

  2. I haven’t yet recovered from “Please wait to be judged.” How about a short line?

    God or Pietro: “Those with fewer than 14 fatal flaws can use line 8!”

    • That was such a good line… and I honestly can’t remember now if I came up with that myself or saw it somewhere else. I would imagine with all of the people dying everyday, there has to be an express line somewhere at the Gates. Nobody wants to wait an eternity for…. well, eternity.

  3. Nice muzak vid. Love Imagine Dragons. Don’t even pull my string on the subject of DST. That has to be the stupidest idea anyone ever had. Not sure which is worse, springing forward or falling back in November. Either way it’s a gigantic cluster guaranteed to make me crabbish until the old bio-rhythms level out. Even then I’m not sure I’d want to be around me. 🤪

    • For my routine, Fall Back works out much better than Spring Forward does. The main issue with November is the duplicating hour. And since my shift takes its lunch hour at 2 AM every night, that wreaks all kinds of havoc since it’s also the magic DST hour. Clock out for lunch too late on Spring Forward, and it’ll look like you’ve worked over the maximum five hours allowed before taking a meal. Clock out for lunch too early on Fall Back, and you won’t be able to clock back in from lunch since the time clock thinks you haven’t taken the minimum 30 minutes yet!

  4. I’m sensing a dissatisfaction with possums….do possums actually have NINE lives (or is it about ten trillion?) I’ve never actually seen a real live possum, it’s possibly too cold in Utah for them to thrive, but we got raccoons. I saw a video once and somebody surprised a possum, it hissed and showed all these itty bitty, but really SHARP LOOKING teeth. My deceased hubby said (he lived in the South as a child) they were some of the meanest creatures ever seen (aside from badgers and surprised raccoons) too. I never dared to ask if his mother cooked him up some. I understand possum is a food source in some areas….. thanks Squirrel for Sharing Your World and for making me laugh out loud. That’s a mighty rare thing these days.

    • I love possums! It’s just that Buster seemed to develop the running gag of always meeting some nasty end…. and then coming back brand new to do it all over again. There was a possum family that showed up on the outdoor patio at work one night a few years ago, and I took some great pictures of the Mama and one of her babies riding on her back. One of the photos has them both looking right at me… and I’m guessing I kept still enough to not seem like a threat since I didn’t get hissed at.

      Thanks for the questions every week! I detected a definite down note to them, but I can turn even that into twisted irreverence that should be good for a laugh or sixty nine…

  5. Share Your World is a tiny bit like “Fill-Ins” which we do…..it’s fun to see how people answer questions of all sorts. After reading your response on “happy songs” I realized that I have a whole lot of songs that I get positive energy from when I sing (off key I’m sure) along. I also think there might be an express lane in BOTH post-life destination stations. Some people don’t need judging – just immediate access. We all know whether we’d be eligible for the express lanes or not and I suspect while they are express they are still long lines.

    Pam

  6. draliman says:

    I’ve always wanted a lift from a driver with the attention span of a gnat. Maybe I’ll get some first hand experience of question one…

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