You looking for Spring? Sorry, haven’t seen it.
It’s time for another Phat Tuesday full of TMI courtesy of Melanie and the Share Your World team. Here are this week’s questions that are eagerly awaiting my set of smartass answers. I’m just burning daylight trying to come up with some pseudo-clever intro, so let’s get right to that logo then…
SCCCRRRRRRRRRRRRATCH!!!!!
Oh wait. There’s a new updated logo… apparently inspired by my snarky comments about all four globes facing towards the Eastern hemisphere. So now we have this to ooh and aah over…
Now with double Middle East! Hey, it’s the Cradle of Life after all…
Now, let’s really get this show started…
Do You Have Any Guilty Pleasures?
Everyone has guilty pleasures. The question should really be whether one actually feels guilty about their guilty pleasures. I try not to be, because fuck what other people think is right or not. I don’t succeed all that well in that goal, however. I mean, I’m proud as hell of my little large HUGE critter collection that sits on the shelf behind me… but I sure as hell don’t talk about it around people I know. I mean, after all, I’ve become this guy…
Chicks like unicorns, and this guy should be a chick magnet…… right?
What Is The Worst Pick Up Line You Ever Heard/Used?
I’ve never got in on the singles scene, and I have loner loser written all over my face, so I’ve never been on the giving or receiving (Why should guys have all the fun?) end of any lame pickup lines. Maybe the critters can answer this question for me…..
FUZZYWIG: So, um…. wanna take a hit off my bong?
RAINY: NO! You can’t use my precious rain gauge to measure……. THAT!!!
SNUGGLE: Hey baby! Wanna put your delicates on my agitator?
MR. FOX: ……………………………
MITZI: Like, there’s bad pick up lines? Lulz! No ways! Ooooh, is that a possum in your pants, or are you just happy to see Mitzi?
What Slang Or Trend Makes You Feel Old?
I’d like to say just about anything smartphone or social media related…. but the adults are just as bad, if not worse about it than the kids. After over a decade of corrupting the population of planet earth, I still don’t get the allure of Facebook, Tweeter, selfies, or having your face buried in a “phone” at all hours. I sure as hell didn’t need any of that when I was a kid.
#GetOffMyLawn
What Do You Consider The Most Over-rated Song?
I dedicated an entire countdown to this a year ago! I rated Journey’s “Don’t Stop Belivin'” at #1, a surefire piece of shit song if there ever was one… yet one that is inescapable because supposedly everyone loves hearing it ten times a day. Journey’s an overrated band too. Not quite as overrated as Prince, but that’s a very high hurdle for any piece of shit artist to climb over…
Kiss my ass, Prince.
You Find A Book And Begin To Read Only To Discover That It Is Your Life. You Get To The Point That You Are At Now, Do You Turn The Page Knowing That You Will Not Be Able To Change The Events To Come?
NONONONONONONONONONO!!!! Everybody thinks they would want to know what they’ve got coming to them, but nobody would really want that information. Hell, I fear ever getting the dreaded “You’ve only got X months to live” speech from a doctor, because I’m pretty sure I’d freak the hell out if I were imminently staring down my own mortality. Burn those future pages, dammit!
Buster’s life story would be a Choose Your Own Adventure book. Die. Start over. Die. Start over. Die….
This Week’s Gratitude Moment:
Winning this guy out of the claw machine last week… and just in time for Friday’s Shelf Critter Theatre episode. I always wanted a dragon…
Even if he does look like Barney the Dinosaur…
Evil Squirrel's Nest 
hahahaha love the pick up lines… mitzi is a pro!!!
Mitzi has the gift of gab, and…. other gifts as well.
Oooh, a DRAGON! With sequins! Squirrellena just swooned, as purple and green are her go-to colors. Thanks for Sharing Your (Fantasy? No..Unique..okay) World with us! And tell Fozzy (the bear, whose name escapes me) that Mama Bear always has her cave door open…oh forget that..this is a PG rated blog, right?? Anyway tell him to stop playing with matches. Smokey is watching..
That would be Snuggle Bear, as in the fabric softener mascot. I’m not sure which version of him is creepier, mine or the one in the laundry aisle. Even dragons are shiny these days…. if it doesn’t sparkle, then it’s just 20th century garbage.
I think guilty pleasures are far less guilty if you tell people you’re doing something you consider guilty. Suddenly they’ll tell you how what you think is a guilty pleasure is nothing– and that they have real guilty pleasures. Always competitive, them there human beings.
If somebody out there can out-critter my shelf, then I would go from feeling guilty to being jealous. And that’s not good because I’m running out of space…
You listed so many great songs in your “shit song countdown” I was quite excited to see which one of my all-time favourites you were going to pick!
I was sorry to disappoint you by not including the Spice Girls….
Flaming cheek…
Buster’s life is definitely a lifelong version of Groundhog Day. BTW, nice score on the purple guy. As Mitzi would say, “He’s like so kyoot.”
Buster is like one of those adventure book where all choices lead to dead ends.
Literally. 🤣
Exactly. ⛔🔚
The Buster Choose Your Own Adventure episode is one I’ve dabbled on for a while now, but I think it would be even more of a mess than Buster’s decaying carcass to try and bring to life (no pun intended)…
I think Mitzi already made that observation about the dragon, while she had him tackled to the floor in a horizontal position.
I am now old enough to have actually forgotten my guilty pleasures. I’m sure I had them, but what were they? Is that pathetic or what?
Oh, I’m sure you still have some. You probably just don’t consider them to be “guilty” or maybe not care that they’re “guilty.”
Gosh I never felt guilty about any of my pleasures….I suspect that’s why I’ve made it to the ripe old age of – well – OLD. I think that dragon found the BEST home ever on your Shelf – by the way – were you “trying” for that dragon when you did the claw machine?
Pam
The dragon was the one I figured I had the best shot of snagging, but I was really surprised to hook him on my second turn. On the next attempt, I lifted a giraffe that would have made him nice company had he not slipped out of the claw as it moved toward the exit…
“If at first you don’t succeed…..” !!!!
Oh, Snuggle Bear. That is undoubtedly the most disturbing and inappropriate pick up line ever. With that said, I’m sure Mitzi would, like, totally take you up on that offer!
I’m sure Snuggle has a whole notebook full of even more disturbing pickup lines. Nobody can ever accuse him of subtlety in communicating his intentions…