Share Your World – Week 12

I actually tried cracking this egg I blinged up for SCT last week, and now there’s glitter all over my kitchen counter.

Tuesday is the day we at The Nest give you an insight into how fucked up the author of this blog is by answering Melanie’s weekly Share Your World questions.  It’s been 12 weeks now, and I still haven’t been banned from the challenge yet!  I must be doing something right.  Oh, and now SYW has an even more North America centric logo than last week’s!  YAY!  This will make the rest of the world hate the U. S. of A. even more now!

This is how the War of 1812 started.

What is the best pick me up that you know of?  To shake you out of the blues?

Distraction is the key to my mental health…. and I am the king of distracting myself.  I’ll look up old songs I like on YouTube, check out one of the baseball websites I like, or heck… even read some of my old stuff here since nobody cracks me up quite like myself.

I’m glad there’s someone out there who finds us funny…

What would be the title of your memoir?

“How To Cure Your Insomnia” – the ultra boring life of one Evil Squirrel.  Warning: Do not listen to this audiobook while driving or operating heavy machinery.

Looks like I’ve hit the best seller list!

Where do you like to go when you eat out?

I like eating at the bottom of the fast food chain.  Here’s an old post that goes over some of my favorite haunts… at least, circa May of 2015.  I think of overpriced fancy restaurant food the same way a lot of people think of greasy fast food.  If the menu doesn’t have decimal points on the prices, I don’t want to eat there…

Here’s a tip… Burger King is hiring.

Do you believe in luck?

I believe in the randomness of the universe… which isn’t really luck, or at least what people think about when they think of luck.  Hexes and jinxes and lucky streaks are all hogwash.  I love black cats and unicorns equally, and I hate Lucky Charms cereal because I hated those nasty ass marshmallow bits they put in kids cereals which I’m pretty sure are actually toxic, and why I once threw up my Count Chocula…

Do I believe in luck? LUCK did you say!?!? Man, go fuck yourself!!!

Aside from necessities, what is one thing you couldn’t go a day without?

Internet access.  I remember the days before I had it and how I kept my large amount of free time occupied without it… but I wouldn’t want to go back to the prehistoric days of the 90’s, at least in that regard.

Just a minute, buddy. I need to send a text to my BFF!

There was a heated battle for The Nest’s sarcastic gratitude nod this week… but I’ll give it to the jerkwad who stole my jacket from the break room at work last Tuesday night/Wednesday morning (More likely the former).  Thanks a lot, asshole.  I hope you’re allergic to the fabric and break out in nasty welts that slowly suffocate your sorry ass.  But that probably won’t happen since along with luck, I’m also not a big believer in karma…

Unless we’re talking Karma Chameleon…

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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19 Responses to Share Your World – Week 12

  1. I think karma is the thing what always bites you in the butt… and to dress like boy george brings very bad karma… when the principal talks to your parents and they agree with this idiot instead to fight for her only child…

  2. Ah the Squirrel’s World….just the place to ease MY anxiety!! My boys (dogs btw, I don’t think they do the following to humans..at least not yet)..are having the big SNIP today. I expect sulking, snapping, growling and a lot of bitching (not the good kind that your friend Fozzy (aka Snuggle) might be familiar with…are female bears bitches??). Come to think of it, it won’t be that different from when hubby was alive and was ill. Same thing. Men. tsk.. Anyway Squirrel, thanks for Sharing Your Nutty World with us today!! The laughs? Are something I can’t go a day without!

  3. Ally Bean says:

    I’m not sure that you entirely get the concept of gratitude, but I’ll let it ride. As for going a day without the internet, I could do that. I’ve done that and lived to tell. Imagine!

  4. draliman says:

    Yeah, burn in hell, jacket thief.
    I couldn’t live without internet. What would I do at lunchtime if I couldn’t put my sandwich on Instagram?

    • What would your sandwich do if it didn’t get to be a viral star? Think of all that poor food that existed before the days of the internet…. just getting eaten or thrown away without any fame at all.

  5. Another great job of sharing! I hope you left a bunch of your personal cooties in that jacket so whoever ripped it off (and that truly sucks by the way that anyone YOU WORK WITH would do that) gets a comeuppance of sorts.

    Pam

    • Mecca’s a den of thieves, and I’m not just talking about the customers. I’ve learned to hide my snack I bring for lunch in a very out of the way place since some people assume they can eat whatever happens to be in the break room..

  6. I don’t even remember life before the internet. I literally don’t remember it. I know it existed. I was there, but … well … it’s all the strange radio waves coming from my computer. It has blanked my mind.

    • I can remember it, but 19 years of having it be a literal part of my daily life has left me pretty unable to go back. I’m not sure how I’d even do on my own without it…

  7. Bummer on the filched jacket. I thought only lunch bags were swiped from break rooms.

  8. Quirky Girl says:

    You know, I’ve always marvelled at the logic of considering a severed rabbit’s foot a lucky charm, given the fact that the poor footless rabbit wouldn’t likely feel he is, in any way imaginable, actually lucky… But then, what do I know?

    Also, the title of your future memoir sounds positively riveting. 😜

    • I think rabbit’s feet are only lucky once they’re detached from the body… which is unfortunate for the rabbits who now can’t chase down the human who dismembered them…

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