Artsy Fartsy

Welcome to another off the cuff Wednesday jaunt where we don’t know where we’re going, so any road will take us there.  It’s Random Image Inspiration!  After three months of trying this new feature out, I’ve decided to slightly tweak the Randomator formula so that the random Reader post will not always be from Wednesday morning.  The first random number pool will expand from 1 through 20 to 1 through 50!  Oooh, the possibilities!  Now, let’s pull that first set of random numbers under this brave new era in RII…

39, 62, 59, 87

This set got us the most unusual two word search term the Randomator has yet uncovered, as you shall soon see….

The 39th post in my Reader was this one (going all the way back to Monday!) by Mariliyn.

The 62nd word in that post is “collapse”

The 59th word in that post is “voila” (Not Viola! as Phenny would say)

No stupid articles or prepositions or pronouns this time!  Putting “collapse voila” into Google Images brought this up as the 87th result…

Ooooooookay, I’m sure that has something to so with collapse and voila.  Looks like it’s crafting time at The Nest!  I suck at crafts, so I’ll find some volunteers to help make something for you today…

FUZZYWIG: Dude, this better be important.  (Looks at watch) It’s almost…

CHIP: We all know what time it almost is, Fuzzy.  I’m pretty sure that’s the only time that’s ever on your Marley Mouse watch.

Hey, wait a minute!  What are Snuggle and Mitzi doing!?!?

SNUGGLE: Dude!  I’m fucking crafting here!  I found this neon lead paint in the attic and I’m turning Mitz into a tribal ho!

MITZI: Mitzi, like, looks all totally fierce and stuff!!!  Someone take a selfie of me!

Snuggle, would you please put that paint away!  Our prompt today looks like origami…

FUZZYWIG: Origami?  I think I had that once at Hung Lo’s buffet.  Tasted like dog…

CHIP: No, Fuzzy!  Origami is an ancient Japanese art of folding paper into other objects!

Right, Chip.  I’m glad someone around here has some brains.  Now, you’ll need some paper…

Oops, not that kind of paper!

There we go!  Now, some tape…

SNUGGLE: Dafuq is this shit?

FUZZYWIG: Would you kindly remove this flypaper and get us some REAL tape?

CHIP: Now you’re talking!

MITZI: Can I, like, tape my boobies with that stuff?

No, Mitzi… keep your hooves off the tape before you get it all in your mane.  Now, here are your scissors.

SNUGGLE: Fuck yeah!  I feel like doing some running!

NO, Snuggle Bear!  Didn’t your mother tell you to NEVER run with scissors?

SNUGGLE: Eh, what’s the worst that can happen?

SNUGGLE: Oh yeah, that.  Hey, I got an idea!

SNUGGLE: Sponge painting!

CHIP: It’s like Jackson Pollack meets Zeeba.

MITZI: Aren’t we gonna, like, do some of that orgasmi?

Yes, this is straying way off course now!  Get to work folding that paper.  (Grabs the other paper) I’ll go take a dump while you all create…

Ten minutes later….

Ummmm, where’s your crafting project?  And what happened to Snuggle and Mitzi, for that matter?

CHIP: You really don’t want to know the answer to the latter question.

I better pan the camera over to the right a bit…

Oh, come on, really?

FUZZYWIG: You were warned, dumbass.  I’ll bet National Geographic doesn’t have photos of the exotic mating ritual of the neon tigercorn…

Alright, forget them.  Where’s your art project gentlecritters?

CHIP: Right here!

That’s just a rolled up piece of paper!

FUZZYWIG: Dude, it’s fucking origami!  I turned this ordinary piece of paper into a BLUNT!

A what!?!?

FUZZYWIG: Did I stutter?  (Fills his origami project full of the good stuff) I told you it was getting close to 4:20… so I’mma light up right now and forget this whole crafting class ever happened.

CHIP: I got next, Fuzzy!

FUZZYWIG: Did I hear you correctly, Chip ol’ pal?  Since when did your square ass toke?

CHIP: Since I got tired of appearing in fucked up posts like this!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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17 Responses to Artsy Fartsy

  1. HAHAHAHA……very crafty indeed!! By the way – Mitzi’s tribal ho colors rock.


    • Maybe I should get the real paints out this time and make Mitzi’s tribal ho look permanent! On second thought… with how my real crafty projects turn out, it’d probably end up looking like someone tagged her with a bunch of graffiti in her sleep.

  2. Ally Bean says:

    I’d hit ‘Like’ on this but I can no longer like things on WP. Life is wacko sometimes, like you!

  3. I’m still trying to figure out what the DAFFODILS have to do with that strangely shaped origami-ish thingie, glue and scissors … and what about collapsing? Voila? Um … Is that a candle there next to the scissors? If this is a construction, I’m at a loss as to what is being constructed. It looks … well … you-NEEK. I’m not surprised nobody made anything. I can’t even imagine what was intended, much less what you would create given the “ingredients.”

    Collapse! Voila! It sounds like the title of something starring “The Rock,” aka Wayne Johnson.

    • It beats me… some of the images I find randomly confuse the heck out of me. But for whatever reason, origami was the first thing I thought of when I saw that… so origami it was. And from voila and collapse… another mystery. At least you gave me some good material to work with this time… though The Rock refused to appear in my post.

      • That’s because he refuses to be called “The Rock” anymore. But Dwayne Johnson is just to far from The Rock. He needs a better name. Dwayne isn’t heroic.

  4. oh sh*t it guessed how it will end as I saw the scissors … I like the tribal ho decoration…it reminds me of my nightly sessions with Bob Ross … he had a lot of luck that he was in TV or he maybe had seen the same end as Buster …

    • Bob Ross was a hack… you never saw him doing tribal colors because he only knew how to turn splotches into happy little trees. That’s so boring… Mitzi could straighten him out.

  5. It’s a wonder you haven’t been arrested yet. 🤪

  6. draliman says:

    Now that’s what I call a spliff!

  7. chattykerry says:

    I just noticed it is a toilet tissue bear – classy!

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