Fake Flowers

At least the squirrel is real.

I have been working in retail for 21 years now, and have seen quite a few products blossom from an unpopular, weird niche item into customer must-haves that there are now entire sections of the counter dedicated to.  Puppy pads.  Scented candles.  Portable insulated tumblers.  Duct tape.

Outdoor solar lights would be another such out of nowhere consumer phenomenon with literally billions and billions of these cheap plastic stakes sold each year.  Unless you planned on reading a book at night while lying on your frontyard walkway, the lighting itself isn’t much more than decorative.  But you can buy these solar lights with all kinds of pretty decorations attached to them… like the flower themed ones in my neighbor’s yard.

Hey, put that Roundup away! This isn’t a dandelion!

If only squirrels were nocturnal (they aren’t… my most popular post of all time!), perhaps I could get some pictures of them in the soft glow of the stored solar energy in these popular yard decorations.  Oh well, I hope this week’s Saturday Squirrel has helped you to see the light… even if it isn’t very bright.

Have a great weekend everyone!


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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20 Responses to Fake Flowers

  1. Fortunately squirrels are never tacky and never go out of style.

  2. Squirrels can tell when tacky is in the yard, notice how it avoided those “flowers”, lol.

  3. draliman says:

    Solar-powered fake flower illuminations. Lovely.

  4. Actually in some areas (like this one) those solar lights provide the guest with a safe navigation to one’s door. The savvy guest calls first of course, or is invited; so the porch and garage lights are lit and they aren’t stumbling over sleepless squirrels or the odd garden gnome; but the one who springs themselves unannounced upon a person might come to grief. It’s their own fault of course for going visiting after dark when sensible people (and squirrels) are sound asleep or watching old re-runs of Gilligan’s Island or something. But you always have the mis-guided among society, how else do you explain that bad shit cra-cra idiot in the White House?

  5. Trisha says:

    I’ll bet at least one squirrel has tried to behead those fake flowers the way they beheaded all my tulips. Flower beheading seems to be a hobby of squirrel kind! But the squirrels aren’t the reason I have no solar lights in my yard. My youngest spawn and his pellet gun are to blame for that. 😡

    • Well, at least he’s not shooting the heads off the squirrels. Back in my day, the cost of those solar lights would have been taken out of my ass by my parents.

      • Trisha says:

        Yeah, me too! From the stupidity we’re seeing from my now 19-year-old, I’m thinking we should have continued the “spare the rod, spoil the child” philosophy of earlier decades.

  6. Rivergirl says:

    Let’s hope the critters don’t try and nibble. They’re going to be quite disappointed…

  7. Plastic flower lights…….Well, what WILL they “plasticize” next one has to wonder? Plastic TREES? I doubt squirrels would enjoy them much – can’t get good traction on plastic!


  8. The squirrels are constantly knocking over the low-wattage lights in my yard all the time. Most likely because I’m chasing them away after finding them in my windowsill attempting to break into the kitchen. 🐿

    • No burglar would dare try to break into a house in broad daylight. They are obviously just being friendly and waving to you and the doggies. Yet more baseless accusations against innocent squirrels! 😛

      • Ha…you clearly don’t know the hoodlum squirrels in our hood. They have broken chewing through the screen 3 times now. The first was to eat some brownies off the counter! Bastards.

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