Who’s Bad?

a box full of junk

The time has come for another twisted turn down the road to anywhere!  Welcome to another Wednesday episode of Random Image Inspiration!  The Randomator found fresh meat this week!

14, 74, 21, 66

The 14th post in my Reader was this one by Biker, Books and Yarn!

The 74th word in that post is “I”

The 21st word in that post is “to”

Yeah, so the Randomator still can’t manage to pinpoint cool words.  The 66th image was an encrypted mess that couldn’t be used, so…

Typing “I to” into Google Images turned this up as the 67th result….

That, folks, is a worksheet designed for school children and it’s about a Michael Jackson song.  I was in 6th grade when “Man in the Mirror” came out, and the teacher would’ve sent me to the principal’s office for playing newfangled garbage like that!  How times have changed…

Well, let’s find some students to fill out our worksheet and see how smart they are about 80’s pop music…

TWILIGHT: Good morning, students!  Welcome to Miss Twilight’s remedial adult education class!

SNUGGLE: Aw, man!  I think the clock is slow!

MITZI: Mitzi, like totally brought her pencil!

TROLL: How come I gotta sit in the back of the class with the burnouts?

TWILIGHT: Today I have a special guest from the muzak department to help with our lesson!

SCRATCHY: ‘Sup, homeys?  It’s POP QUIZ time!

TROLL: What!?!?  I didn’t even study!

SNUGGLE: Shit!  I forgot to read the Cliff’s Notes!

FUZZYWIG: Has class started yet?

Scratchy hands out a purple-inked mimeographed ditto to the class…

SNUGGLE: Dafuq is this shit?  I didn’t pay all of that tuition to come here and take tests!

TROLL: I thought you were sent here as part of your community service probation…

MITZI: Like, totally tubular!  It’s about Mikey Jackson!  He sang that song about me, but had to, like, totally change the name to Diana because “Mitzi” didn’t have enough syllabuses!

SCRATCHY: You have four minutes and twenty seconds to complete your assignment… get started already!

SNUGGLE: Hey, I don’t perform well under time constraints!

MITZI: Yeah, like, Mitzi has AC/HD!

SCRATCHY: Tough shit!

TWILIGHT: Language, please!

FUZZYWIG: Great.  Might as well get expelled from night school as well…

I’m gonna make a ______.  For once in my life.  It’s gonna feel real good.

MITZI: Oooooh, Mitzi, like, totally knows what makes her feel good!  Does “big girl toys” fit?

FUZZYWIG: I’m gonna make another joint.  I won’t have any idea how I’ll feel later on…

SNUGGLE: He’s gonna make a donut, like that guy from the commercial who got up every morning to make the donuts!

TROLL: Hey, that was me one year!  Then I got fired because they didn’t have a hairnet that fit me and the glazed donuts were a little fuzzy…

I see the kids in the street, without ______ to eat.  Who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their _______?

FUZZYWIG: Poor kids got the munchies!  I told those third graders I sold to last week they needed top pace themselves…

SNUGGLE: Naw, they don’t have any candy!  And who am I to be blind pretending not to see their pretty panties?

FUZZYWIG: Would you like to have a seat over there, Mr. Snuggle?

TROLL: Snuggle and MJ, the terrors of Neverland!

SNUGGLE: Damn straight!  Gimme a playground full of P.Y.T.’s anyday!

I’m starting with the man in the _______

FUZZYWIG: Moon?

MITZI: Oooooh!  Like, didn’t Mikey Wikey totally sleep in a hypodermic chamber?

TROLL: How do you spell that?

I’m asking him to change his ______

SNUGGLE: Underwear!

If you wanna make the world a ______ place, take a look at yourself and just make a ______

TROLL: The Shelf makes the world a fucked up place.

SNUGGLE: Yeah!  Just make a Shelf Critter Theatre episode!  And don’t forget to include a hot, steamy sex scene between me and…

FUZZYWIG: Big Scrat?

SNUGGLE: Dammit, I’m gonna kick your ass after class, reefer addict!

SCRATCHY: THIRTY SECONDS!!!

TROLL: Oh fuck!  We better start writing any old shit down!  Anyone got a pen?

FUZZYWIG: (Reaches in pocket) I do…. no wait, that’s just my vaping joint.

MITZI: Mitzi, like, has some lipstick!

SNUGGLE: Fuck yeah!  There…. done!!!

TWILIGHT: Well, it looks like you’ve all failed the test and will have to repeat this class next year!  Scratchy, what do you think about the poor performance our students…..?

TWILIGHT: Scratchy!?!?!?

SCRATCHY: What?  I only agreed to come to your class so I could get some of this good shit.

TWILIGHT: Go to the principal’s office.  Now!

SCRATCHY: Does he want a hit too?

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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16 Responses to Who’s Bad?

  1. I agree thw orld in that song was a f.. ed place right? or not? …well at least now it is such a place sometimes…

  2. I love that you used part of Van Halen’s song Hot For Teacher in the beginning, lol. Man the Nest was totes on point with filing in the blanks on that “assignment.” I don’t think it would have been as good had they NOT smoked some of the reefer prior to the exam….lmao.

    • I love dropping those lines from Hot For Teacher in wherever I can! I can think of a couple other past SCT episodes where I reffed the song. Class is always more fun when everyone’s a little high (I don’t know that from experience, mind you, but I’d just assume it would be)…

  3. I can’t stop laughing. OMG ES this is pee your pants spit milk out of your nose funny.

    I attempted some funny stuff and fill in the blank but it isn’t funny like yours. Thanks for making me laugh.

    I’m starting with the man in the kitchen
    I’m asking him to change his recipe
    If you wanna make the world a tasty place, take a look at yourself and just make a batch of cookies.

    I’m starting with the man in the bathtub
    I’m asking him to change his water
    If you wanna make the world a cleaner place, take a look at yourself and just make a perfect eye brown line.

  4. I actually much prefer the lyrics as written by the students! But then I’m a follower of this blog so that shouldn’t be a surprise……..right?

    Pam

  5. I. don’t. even. know. where. to. begin.

  6. draliman says:

    I don’t know the song but i’m guessing the critters were pretty close. After all, the lyrics ended up pretty bad and that’s the name of the album…

  7. School sure has changed and I’m pretty sure it’s NOT for the better..

    • After 26 years away from public school, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t recognize a classroom these days. What are all these brats doing on their phones? And why is the teacher on their phone!?!?

  8. Quirky Girl says:

    Though undoubtedly entertaining, I think this particular class might be slightly off-kilter in terms of education value. But hey, at least these guys are learning something, right? 😛

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