Tuesday is the day The Nest gets awkwardly close to all of our wonderful readers and invades your personal space with more world sharing courtesy of Melanie’s weekly Share Your World questions! You’re just dying to see what horrible and wretched things you might learn about me today, aren’t you? No? Well, too fucking bad! No… don’t leave! You’re not going anywhere!
There, that’s better! Now that I have my captive audience, let’s roll out the logo!
What do fish do all day? What thoughts do you think they have?
As with most families who have kids that have no concept on the practicality of things, we had a few experiments with keeping aquariums when I was growing up. Experiments which failed even harder than a nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. Poor fish. Poor, poor ick covered fish. What can those kept in captivity by cruel humans possibly be thinking….?
CHIP: Do I even want to know?
FUZZYWIG: What? It’s my pet fish.
CHIP: Fuzzy, that’s a mermaid!
FUZZYWIG: It’s half fish. And the bottom half, so we’ll be able to give a half-assed answer to this question.
CHIP: Why is she in your toilet bowl!?!?
FUZZYWIG: Why not? Fish swim in their own poop, so why shouldn’t they swim in my poop too?
CHIP: That’s disgusting!
FUZZYWIG: The dog drinks it. Hey, don’t knock it ’til you tried it, dude. That reminds me of my favorite poem…
If it’s yellow, let it mellow
If it’s brown, flush it down!
CHIP: What color is vomit? (Putting paw to mouth) Asking for a friend…
FUZZYWIG: Alright little fishy, tell us what you’re thinking right now.
MERMAID: (Thoughts) My sister gets a lifetime contract with Disney, and I get stuck in Shelf Critter Theatre! Just put me in a box of crumbs at Long John Silver’s already!
What celebrity would you have as a SPOUSE, if you HAD to choose?
Definitely not Lorena Bobbitt….
Does Mitzi count as a celebrity? She certainly does around here…
Who wouldn’t want to call a lovable ball of fun like Mitzi their very own? Well, there’s the whole interspecies love stigma that America has yet to get over… but given their booming popularity, I’d bet unicorns would be the first win the right to marry humans. And of course, with Mitzi being Mitzi, you’d still probably have to share her…
What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken?
Above is the totality of the damage I did to an SUV in the only at-fault car accident I’ve ever been in. I T-boned it (with my awesome Neon!) at about 10 miles per hour while trying to make a left turn across three lanes of backed up traffic while 500 miles from home on vacation eight years ago. The guy (Who was from Texas…. this happened in Oklahoma!) was super nice and we both turned in the claim to my insurance without having to get the police and their book full of tickets involved. But I’ll bet that little bang up cost thousands of dollars in bodywork. Or who knows, maybe it was so expensive they totaled the vehicle and I really did break it completely. I never found out, but it’s a ghost from my past I’d just as soon forget anyway…
When was the last time you slept more than 9 hours in a stretch? Why?
It’s not uncommon for me to sleep that long on Saturdays, being the day after my first night back to work. Working overnights, your sleep often comes in lots of short and a few very long spurts…
Share something you were really grateful for this year (so far):
Yesterday may have been the first absolutely gorgeous weather day we’ve had this year. It was sunny, it was only moderately warm, there was a very nice breeze, and the muggy, soupy feeling from all that rain was completely gone! If I were an outdoors person, it would have been a great day to do something. At the very least, I’m sure the squirrels enjoyed it…