Fourth Place

How to turn a pallet into a flag.

I don’t decorate for the holidays (with one sole exception), and if I did, it certainly wouldn’t be for the Fourth… which would rank as one of my least favorite holidays.  It has nothing to do with any treasonous behavior on my part (though I think patriotism is highly overrated at best and extremely dangerous at worst)… the holiday just hits a lot of my pet peeves.  Fireworks… I’ve bitched enough about them in the past.  I’m a firm believer in Darwinism, and I wish more of those illegal explosives would blow up in people’s hands.  Barbecue get-togethers… two individual concepts I can do without.  The fact that the Fourth can land on any day of the week… I’d rather keep the holidays during my Friday-Tuesday workweek and out of my weekends where they disrupt my routines.  And then there’s just the fact that it’s called “The Fourth of July” and not “July 4th.”  This is America, we should only use the American dating convention of month/day, dammit!  So much for independence from the Brits… and my not being patriotic.

Anyway, both of my neighbors are decked out for the occasion.  Above is my right side neighbors.  Rather creative and pretty.  My left side neighbor, however, has gone full redneck…

Yeehaw, and shit.

Happy July 4th, whether you celebrate or not!

Updated!  The truck is gone, and now I can see…… this!?!?

Fucking Blues…

John Hancock, who was from Boston, would not be amused…


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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27 Responses to Fourth Place

  1. Happy July 4th ya grumpy Evil Squirrel! Love your no holds barred, down to earth, cut to the chase comments, don’t ever change!

  2. Maybe the Wall should be erected between your house and the truck owner? For the record, I’m with you on July 4th and fireworks. Working with mental health patients (not to mention having a couple of dogs who don’t appreciate that racket), I find this holiday more than many of the others as a horrible idea and just seems like an excuse to drape the flag around too much beer and explosives. Or a mattress sale. 😕

  3. The flags could have been Confederate flags. I live in Wisconsin and am amazed when I see those flags on pick up trucks. Me thinks it’s overcompensating for a lack of manly parts. LOL!

    • I’ve seen decals and accessories with the rebel flag on them, but nobody I’ve seen actually waves it around here. At least not since it became less politically correct while my town also became less white…

  4. Trisha says:

    LOL – That truck does scream redneck! It looks like it belongs in the parade in the town my parents live in. I’ve never seen a flag like that blue one. WTF?

    I hate holidays but especially the 4th. Socializing, getting drunk and blowing up shit just aren’t me. The 4th is one of my primary hibernation days, along with the day after Thanksgiving. When the masses are out, I stay in!

    • The symbol on the star field of the blue flag is the logo for the St. Louis Blues hockey team, which stumbled onto a Stanley Cup victory last month after a half century of franchise mediocrity and futility, and you’d think by the reaction of people who generally don’t care about hockey, it was the greatest thing that ever happened in this city. There’s actually a Blues sign on the door of the other house in the top photo that you can only see the left part of. So not only do I live next to a couple of patriots, but apparently also Blues fans…

  5. I’m decked out. Non-redneck style, in fact my own yard resembles that of your ‘tasteful’, creative neighbors…including the pallet painted to look like a flag (if you squint. Boy Scouts made my flag pallet and young boys aren’t too keen on the finer points of accuracy sometimes). The flag is flying from the flagpole thingie my ex-neighbor thoughtfully put on my garage, and it’s overcast and cool here today (around 72 degree(ish)) which is jes’ fine with me. I’m invited to a BBQ later with my niece and her husband’s family and my family. Might be too many people for me, but we’ll see. Plus I just scarfed a humongous plate of pancakes and ham from the community breakfast hosted every year. I might just go have a long nap. Nap. That sounds best of all actually.

    • I wish it was 72 here, but that was so last month. I didn’t notice the flag accessory in my neighbor’s yard was made out of a pallet until I looked at the picture I took… I admit, it’s pretty creative. Boys don’t worry about coloring (or painting) inside the lines… but I’m sure your pallet flag looks fine!

  6. ES,
    Yeah, for whatever reason, we celebrate July 3. Go figure. That’s when they do Kaboom Town in Addison, Texas. Really great fireworks show. I’m a fan. Plus, they try and coordinate the fireworks with patriotic (mostly rock) tunes on the radio. Also, they have an airshow with WWII planes flying overhead. Those suckers are loud! Last night was an amazing show…for whatever that’s worth. Today, I’m catching up on stuff while I have a “day off.” Keep it safe, y’all! Mona

    • I don’t mind the professional shows which are more safety oriented and actually look pretty (There is nothing pretty about blowing random shit up in the backyard). Though given the odd hours I sleep, even they have kept me up before. I live two miles from the park where our city’s fireworks show happens, but the dull sound of explosions can still be heard from my bedroom…

  7. ghostmmnc says:

    We just have the one flag. July 4th is not my favorite holiday…too hot (98 so far today), so we stay in. Later though our neighborhood will sound like a war with all the fireworks popping as they do every year. Never mind that it’s illegal in the city limits.

  8. Happy 4th!!! we like redneck decorations although french flics have no sense for that and our dad had to remove a bumper sticker once…but the good thing is that this guys could even read what it said so we are at least impressed but stickerless…

  9. We were praying for rain all day yesterday thinking it would keep things quiet in the fireworks department but NOOOOOOOOOOOOO – people still did their firework thing until things quieted down around 11:00PM-ish. I think fireworks are a huge waste of $$. I like the flag pallet your neighbor has but Mr. Redneck on the other side – I must sadly admit there are a few of those around here too. And SOME of them keep those flag on their pickups YEAR ROUND. Oh well….sadly we can’t choose our neighbors OR how much people seem to love noisy fireworks. Dang!


    • I’m not sure how, but it almost never rains on the evening of the Fourth here… not even this year. It threatened to storm, but that’s all it did… and a little rain never stops the yahoos. I think they’d shoot them off in a monsoon if they had to…

  10. Rivergirl says:

    I like the large firework displays towns and cities put on but despise it when my neighbors set off one boomer every half hour all night long.

  11. Merbear74 says:

    Happy birthday, ‘Merica.

  12. draliman says:

    Well, I hope you had a nice day anyway. Bah humbug.

  13. randomlyerin says:

    My mom puts a sparkly red/white/blue wreath on the front door of the house and I have a small red/white/blue star thing for the door of my office, but that’s it. We’re pretty tame.

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