Take A Walk On The Weird Side

Subtitled: Just another day at The Nest.

It’s time to wake up buttercup and face another exciting Monday.  As usual, The Nest has the muzak that will have you dancing in the sheets with another song that overslept its nostalgia waiting period out of that bedbug ridden box springs we like to call the Dusty Vinyl Archive!  DJ Scratchy’s got the tune to set your snooze button to, while the Sponkies sleep in since it is summer vacation after all.  You may want to make your morning java a double to prepare you for today’s video….

Perhaps no American band that is held in such high regard today was more commercially ignored in its time than the New York outfit known as The Velvet Underground.  The primary component of that band was one Lou Reed, who most musical plebians merely know for that really, really bizarre 1972 hit “Walk On The Wild Side.”  It reached #16, and is the first and literally only piece of music Reed ever got onto the US Hot 100 charts.  And yet, he’s considered a genius…

Apparently anyone can be a genius.

I don’t care much for Mr. Reed’s work, either with the Underground (I prefer mine Digital) or during his long solo career.  But he does have one song worthy of DVA inclusion… and it really has nothing to do with the music.  Not that it’s a bad song, I actually kinda like it.  But it’s the video that puts it on The Nest’s radar.  And as I’m sure you know, The Nest loved its MTV back in the day…

buzz aldrin

And so did Neil Armstrong.

Five years ago, in the last of my three looks back at some of the stranger videos of MTV’s heyday, I concluded that post with the video for Lou Reed’s 1986 solo effort “No Money Down.”  The song went nowhere, and the video has long been forgotten about… but I don’t see how.  Since so many of the people who now follow my blog weren’t around for it the first time, I’m going to give “No Money Down” a run for this week’s DVA.  Watch it.  And don’t give up on it, because it’s pretty boring and stupid for the first 90 seconds.  But at the 1:34 mark things get…… well, just steel yourself and watch…

OK, you can come out from under the couch now…

Is it over!?!?!?

If “No Money Down” isn’t one of the most WTF videos in the history of the genre, I don’t know what could possibly out-creep it.  How many potent, illegal drugs was the person who came up with this concept taking at the time?  The whole point of making a music video for a song is to give it some promotion on television so that maybe someone watching will want to hop on down to the record store and pick up the 45.  The fact that “No Money Down” didn’t chart at all might possibly be due to the fact that anybody who watched this atrocity on MTV back in 1986 ran for the fucking hills instead of the music shop after they saw this on their TV screen…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alas, the lesson Lou Reed learned the hard way was later lost on Eagle Snacks, which also went down the toilet after it stupidly made potential potato chip buyers hide in the closet for months with advertising on acid.

I’ll give you a week to recover from what you just witnessed, and will hopefully have something a bit more…… sane next Monday.

About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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22 Responses to Take A Walk On The Weird Side

  1. 1:43 yeah true! and I like that his mouth still sings even when it dangles around his neck… that’s art!!!

  2. ghostmmnc says:

    Oh the horror! hahaha this is so weird! 🙂

  3. Old Lou was a weird dude. His first father in law lived behind me in the late 80’s/early 90’s. I completely understand why his daughter left Reed.

  4. Merbear74 says:

    The humpty dance is your chance to do the hump.
    Mitzi: OMG LOL! Like, hump me!!

  5. That was amazingly WEIRD! Definitely a creep out but so fascinating I watched every strange second of it. I almost didn’t even HEAR the song! LOL Thanks for sharing – I think….

    Pam

  6. Ummm, well……yeah that is one weird as balls video, I had never seen it and I’m pretty sure I’ll never see it again. I’m totes with you, I’d rather have my Underground Digital not Velvet (take that how you want to, lol). So lets all hear it for the Humpty Dance!!!
    “I’ll eat up all your crackers and licorice” yep, totes my kind of Underground!

  7. draliman says:

    Actually I was more freaked out by the first 90s. Once it revealed itself as a self-destructive robot I felt quite relieved.

  8. Good choice. Lou Reed is always a good choice. Thanks ES.

  9. Trisha says:

    That was definitely WTF! It was kind of relief when he pulled the hair off so I didn’t have to look at it anymore. I’ve never been a fan of the puffy do.

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