Heavy Mental

a box full of junk

Hey, it’s Wednesday again!  That means The Nest gets to dig into the tampon box full of fun stuff for our next Random Image Inspiration muse!  Once again, I don’t have anything special from today’s random image, but at least it should be a bit more coherent than last week’s bizarre rant on butterflies.  Randomator, the numbers please!

19, 62, 86, 66

The 19th post in my Reader was this one by Ghost

The 62nd word in that post is “that”

The 86th word in that post is “here”

Putting “that here” into Google Images brought this up as the 66th result…


A middle aged man in a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops walks out on stage, holds his left arm bent in front of him, and begins moving his right hand up and down in front of the gaudy looking layers of leis hanging around his neck.


“Isn’t this awesome!?!?”

“No, Dick, it isn’t awesome.  This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done in this bar…”

Dick isn’t paying Harry any mind and is now bobbing his head up and down while holding one arm up in a rock on sign.

The man on stage in the Hawaiian shirt continues doing the same thing he’s been doing for three minutes now.

“I’ve had enough of this, Dick…”

“Man, I wish I had a lighter to hold up in the air!”

“I need to find a new partner for this establishment…”

Suddenly, the man in the Hawaiian shirt stops flipping his hand up and down in front of his belly and brings both hands down hard in front of himself.  Then he does it again.  And again….

“WOOOHOOOOO!!!!  Break it, dude!!!!!!!!”

The few patrons still lingering around the bar quietly get up and make their way for the door with worried looks on their faces.

“Dammit, Dick!  We will NEVER host another Air Ukelele contest in this bar again!!!!”


About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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21 Responses to Heavy Mental

  1. air ukulele? I want to see that… no… I MUST see that once…

  2. air ukulele? I want to see that… no… I MUST see that once…

  3. Don Ho is rolling in his grave.

  4. Uh. someone needs to make sure that Dick (Harry? Tom?) steps away from the beer bong. He’s imbibed a bit too much…. air ukulele? *snicker* I thought perhaps it was that often mentioned ‘tiny violin’ with which people tend to offer cheese..

  5. Ally Bean says:

    Did you know the fingering on a violin and an ukulele are the same? At least that’s what they told us in high school orchestra class. Why they told us I could not say, but given a choice I’d have preferred to play the ukulele instead of the violin. However, no choice was given.

    • I didn’t play any instruments at all, so I’d have no idea how to hold a violin or a ukelele. I’m sure my air ukelele (and air violin) would still sound pretty awesome, though…

  6. I actually can remember when my brother and I were little kids, “Santa” brought us really cheapie ukeleles one year. We drove our parents nuts “practicing”…….they eventually bought me a piano which I think was the big hint that ukelele playing wasn’t ever going to be taken seriously but piano was acceptable. I missed that dang ukelele!


    • You could have played the piano (Or PIE-anna in some parts) like Jerry Lee Lewis or Little Richard and still kept up the musical aggravation factor! And your next instrumental gift would have been a dog whistle…

  7. Merbear74 says:

    Eek, I just thought about Tiny Tim, who terrorized my childhood. Still does, actually.
    Nice little story, ES.

  8. ghostmmnc says:

    Hee Hee! Such a fun story – air ukelele! Interesting what came up on your random pick! When I saw the title I thought it was about a singer I know, whose tag line for her music is ‘heavy mental’ – Jana Stanfield.
    I do have a ukelele I got at yard sale. It has Hawaii pictures on it. I was going to learn to play it, but one of the tuning keys was broken off. Guess I could play it ‘air style’! 🙂

    • I picked up “heavy mental” from Buster Poindexter’s video for “Hot Hot Hot.” He talks a bit about his old band the New York Dolls, and how today’s “heavy mental” bands weren’t the first ones to dress up in their mother’s clothes! Air ukelele requires no actual musical talent, and if the crowd at the luau is drunk enough, they’ll love it!

  9. draliman says:

    Air guitar for the more sedate performer. Until he went nuts.

  10. Quirky Girl says:

    The words ‘that’ and ‘here’ put together conjure up images of country folk conversing amongst themselves:

    “That here cow done gone and had more of them there cow babies.”


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