Wishes From The Past

a box full of junk

Are you ready to go dumpster diving in the giant trash bin behind Google headquarters?  That’s what we do at The Nest every Wednesday when we search far and wide using our patented mystery formula to dredge up another thought provoking picture for Random Image Inspiration!  Time to kickstart the Randomator and see where she lands…

40, 58, 88, 85

The 40th post in my Reader was wordless, which won’t do.  So the next post was this one by Phenny.

The 58th word in that post is “lamp”

The 88th word in that post is “is”

Lots of times, the Randomator spits out something entirely unexpected based on the search words… but this time the image results were ALL pictures of lamps.  But things still took a bit of a left turn at Albuquerque….

Putting “lamp is” into Google Images brought this up as the 85th result…

I may eventually use the magical genie idea for a regular episode of Shelf Critter Theatre (Lord knows I need them).  Instead, I’m going to get a bit lazy for RII today and re-post a skit from Bashful’s six week stay at The Nest back in the Fall of 2016, which was where SCT spun off from in the first place.  It stars a rock named Bashful, who Bacon’s mom (I miss her) used to loan out to bloggers back in the day.  Rather than get to see the sights like he did in most places he traveled, I decided to make “live action” comedy skits of Bashful interacting with my assorted critters… many of who would go on to become SCT stars.  One of them appears in this episode, and it was only her second appearance ever on my blog!  Enjoy…

BASHFUL: Oh, look!  A lamp!  And like everything else around The Nest, it’s both outdated and dirty!  Maybe I should just shine it up a bit here and I can take it to the pawn shop to hock for stripper money….

Bashful rubs the lamp and you’ll never guess what happened next…..

GEORGE: Greetings, Master!

BASHFUL: Wow! Who are you?

GEORGE: I am George the Genie! I was trapped inside of that lamp for over a million years and you have finally freed me!

BASHFUL: Hmmmm, is the lamp more valuable with a genie inside? Maybe I should stuff you back in there…

GEORGE: I am forever indebted to you for releasing me from my prison, and have the power to grant any three wishes your heart desires!

BASHFUL: What? Three wishes? Me!?!? Oh boy!!! Gee, what do I want? World peace? An end to poverty? Justin Bieber to take a long walk off a short pier? Nah…. hey Genie! I really wish I had some booze!

GEORGE: Done!

A small bottle of booze appears out of thin air…

BASHFUL: Oh wow!  And hey, that bottle looks familiar.  OH, wait!  What have I done!?!?  I just wasted a wish on a bottle of alcohol!  If I’d have wished for a lot of money, I could’ve bought so much booze that someone could’ve wrung it out of me, and still had two wishes left!

GEORGE: I have to admit, Master, that was the lamest wish I have ever granted in all of my eons of genie-ing.  Maybe you should think harder before deciding on your second wi….

BASHFUL: Money!  That’s what I want!  I wish I had one million dollars!!!

GEORGE: Done!

A penny emerges from nothing in front of Bashful…

BASHFUL: Ummmmmmmm……. where’s the rest of it?

GEORGE: Do you think I carry that kind of money on me, Master?  Just because I spend most of my life cooped up inside of a lamp doesn’t mean I can’t get robbed!

BASHFUL: But you owe me $999,999.99!!!!

GEORGE: And you’ll get it….. one penny a day, without interest, for the next 99,999,999 days!  That’s only about 274,000 years to collect your million…. heck, I’ve taken naps that long.

BASHFUL: I’m starting to see now why someone imprisoned you inside of a lamp…

GEORGE: So, how about it, Master?  What would you like for your third and final wish?

BASHFUL: I wish I had a gorgeous chick to share this booze and…. ahem, fortune with.  No tricks!  I want a real knockout!

GEORGE: Of course, Master!  I am here to serve you…

George disappears in a puff of smoke, and when the magical mist disappears….

BASHFUL: Hubba hubba….

MITZI: So, what do you think about your servant genie now, Master?

BASHFUL: Wait a min….. is that YOU!?!?

MITZI: LOL! Like, of course it is, Sugarbritches! This is my totally awesome other form, Mitzi the Bimbocorn! And I’m looking to party down with a real hunk of rock!

BASHFUL: Eh, who cares if you used to be a guy. It’s you and me tonight, Cutie pie!

BASHFUL: So….. any chance I might get a bonus request so I can wish for a harem?

MITZI: Don’t push it, Master, or I just might change back into George when you least expect it…..

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About evilsquirrel13

Bored former 30-something who has nothing better to do with his life than draw cartoon squirrels.
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24 Responses to Wishes From The Past

  1. uiiiiii yes bashful be careful what you wish for… to sit suddenly on the back of George could be… special…

  2. Ally Bean says:

    A wish is only wasted on a bottle of alcohol if said wish isn’t precise enough to request a specific top-shelf bottle of hooch. As my aunt taught me, “name your liquor.” Words to live by.

  3. Haha, Sugarbritches, oh how I love that Mitzi, she’s a pill! And I have to agree with Ally, a wasted wish if you don’t ask for top shelf hooch! lol

    • Early Mitzi for the win! I hadn’t even fully given her, like, a totally airheaded dialect yet. And I don’t know if Mitzi will go for that brown paper bag shit, so Bashful might really be screwed for bumbling that wish…

  4. Ah…..one of the classics – Mitzi meets Bashful. We hosted Bashful here for a few days too – we had no available bimbos for him but wonder if he has an album full of memories from his trip including his time at The Nest. So what ever happened to George?

    Pam

    • I’m afraid one of Bashful’s most lasting memories of The Nest is probably all of the times he got sprayed by Rainy. Probably hasn’t all come off yet….

      Alas, poor George. He appeared in the very first scene of SCT ever, and after that, about his only appearance of any note was one where he got to gore Buster, which I like to repost over and over again. I think he was done in by the fact that he looks like Mitzi’s twin brother, kind of like regular old Scrat (another popular early SCT critter) lost his utility when Big Scrat came around….

  5. Photofinland says:

    Always happy to see Mitzi! I have been wondering where is Bacon and his family, now I understand something has happened there.

  6. *gulp* … 😐 😐 😐 Uh “George”??? A genie named GEORGE??? Genies should have names like (no profiling intended. if you find some in this comment, it’s in your mind, and not in my writing. Just sayin’) Abdul, Farquar (sp??), Mohammed the Magnificent, or even Gregory. But George? Aw. Now I want to know what happened to George? Did he go to Switzerland (or Sweden..I get ’em mixed up) and have a little unicorn surgery to become Mitzi? Was that whole thing MAGIC (and I totally Believe in Magic) ? Where is George now? (because Mitzi and George being one and the same (with slight modifications due to those surgeons in that Nordic “S” country?) is unrealistic. George was probably a fine genie unicorn, but George, let us face facts, wasn’t a good looking genie unicorn. Maybe it was being cooped up for a million years inside a lamp that led him to introspection and much consuming of unhealthy snack foods that had lots of additives and preservatives and led to him becoming a “bigger” (read fat – and not that stupid modern meaning of the word “phat” either) Genie Unicorn. Gee. I think I need to ‘borrow’ (and no it won’t be returned, unless you like recycled) some of that lime booze that was tossed into the mix. Maybe a couple snorts (bwahah) of that will clear things up for me. But don’t hold your breath.

    • George’s name is a really, really old part of this blog’s history… but that’s the unicorn’s name in SCT lore anyway. The Critter Naming Committee around here sucks balls… which is why you have a troll named Troll and a fox named Mr. Fox and why none of the squirrel kids or Sponkies have actual names. If I redo the genie theme for a future episode, the genie role will definitely go to my golden Buddha, Hung Lo, which is a good name for anything.

    • You’ve been reading “Aladdin” again, Tut tut! Actually, this stuff comes MOSTLY out of Persia which oddly enough, was not (until recently) an Arab country. Sufi.

  7. Ah yes, the Bashful days. That little fella could get into some mischief. But like you, I miss him, his mom and Bacon. *sigh*

  8. Alien Resort says:

    I thought it was ispox

  9. draliman says:

    Weirdly, speaking of that UK kids’ series “Rainbow” (like we were a few weeks ago), Genie George looks a lot like George from “Rainbow”… you were a script writer, weren’t you?

  10. Recently I have been dusting, rubbing, nurturing, casting spells over lamps throughout the house. ONE of them is bound to be magic, right?

  11. Quirky Girl says:

    Has a genie ever been successfully stuffed back into a lamp? I feel like that might be a challenge…

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