Now that my computer has spent two hours of my time, rather than dead time, installing another glorious update that has once again rendered my Photoshop useless… I can finally set about sharing my awesome world with you all thanks to the questions Melanie has posted this week! Are you excited? I’m fucking excited. You’d need an SOS pad to wipe this huge grin I have off my face….
If you had to sum up the whole human species in 3 words, what would those words be?
UNCLE SAM: You know, I sure could go for a BLT right about now…
HAMMY: I hope I give you angina!
SAM: How about stopping with the anti-people literary references and learning to love your fellow man, you heartless swine!
SAM: I fucking hate you….
Where is the strangest place you’ve relieved yourself? Obviously in an emergency situation.
When I was in fifth grade, I was one of the kids who got the “honor” of being a school crossing guard. Our room which contained our orange safety belts was a very dark and deep closet off from the gym that the school stored stuff in it had probably long since forgotten about (My elementary school was over 70 years old when I attended and was razed a few years after I moved on from it). Me and a couple of the other kids decided we would hide behind some large piece of equipment that was towards the back of this uncharted and unlit room, and jump out and scare one of our fellow patrols when they came in. For whatever reason, I had the urge.. and since it was darker than a possum’s ass and there was no way in hell anyone could possibly know about it… I decided to take a leak there in the back of that room. Probably not the most toxic thing that was in that school since it was probably also full of asbestos…
What is the worst smelling place you’ve ever been?
You mean other than that school closet?
We have a steel mill and a coke plant in town. To the north are a handful of oil refineries. I’m used to the smell, but people visiting my humble town usually gasp for air. It kinda reeks here every day…
How drunk is drunk enough?
For a teetotaler like myself, one sip is drunk enough. My critters are hardier stock, though, so let’s ask them…

Apparently one bottle is all it takes to sleep with a troll. Or maybe that’s just Mitzi being Mitzi…
If you’d like, please list five things that are priceless to you.
Awww priceless little squirrels! I agree. 🙂
Priceless precious porcelain little squirrels!
yes 2 legs bad… you couldn’t say it better… the worst smell for me is Angel by Thierry Mugler… maybe because I’m the opposite of an angel Idk…
Angels probably smell too. And fart. They just blame it on demons…
I look forward to your SYW’s E.S. I always cackle (sometimes evilly too) and am amused for a considerable time afterward…breaking into silly grins at the car wash and grocery store, where it adds to the impression folks have around here that I’m always a) stoned, b) slightly drunk, c) mildly nuts or d) all of the above. None of ’em (except possibly “c”) are true either. Profiling is just bad. 😐 Um thanks for Sharing Your intriguing World squirrel man. A great place to visit! 😀
I can only plead guilty to C, only I think “mildly” is too mild of an adverb to describe my level of nuttiness. I’m glad there are people besides me who finds this shit to be entertaining…
The World of Squirrel is never boring…………never. Especially in the back of dark closets at school.
Pam
I’m glad any evidence is long, long, long gone….
Installing operating systems is the bane of modern life. Hope it updated and starts behaving soon.
It won’t. The issue is actually with an update from April of last year. I had to keep having my computer revert back to the previous update every week until it finally gave up on trying to install it automatically. And now I guess it’s also in the current MASSIVE and CRITICAL update it just installed, so I’ll have to try to purge the update and probably keep doing so again for weeks…
Argh. One thing I really enjoy about Apple products, the OS updates are for the most part quite painless.
Animal Farm. 😀
Yes, I am smart and shit.
I think they made everyone read that book in school. Just to prove that even animals are assholes…
It messes up photoshop, some (many really) of my passwords, AND my sound settings. The downloads (upgrades?) on the Mac are WORSE.
The Photoshop error is great because both Microsoft and Adobe point the finger at each other and say it’s up to the other to fix the issue… so it never gets resolved. I’ve had the sound issue twice where the sound will just disappear altogether, and I’ll have to uninstall the sound player to force my computer to reinstall it correctly. You’d think updates would actually make things better….
Kids as crossing guards? Aren’t they just as likely to get mown down as the other kids?
A coke plant, huh? We have marijuana farms and meth labs, but coke plants, not so much.
I think it was supposed to teach us about adult responsibilities. I only managed to get four or five kids killed or seriously injured on my watch…
Ha! I was wondering if anyone would think I was talking about the drink, and now I realized “coke plant” has a third meaning! We got “silver snow” from the steel plant all the time, but never any of the “white snow” from the coke plant…
Geez, I thought my inappropriate peeing place was bad but at least it wasn’t indoors! There were spectators, however. I was 16, very drunk and the drive from Concrete to the Tacoma Dome is very long.
Squirrels are priceless. Even after all the damage they’ve done to my garden my heart melts when I see their cute little faces.
I did not know there was a town in Washington called Concrete! That town name is priceless…
I’ll bet most people have a side of the road story, but mine all got trumped by the closet incident!
Yeah, a closet at school definitely trumps side of the road!
Concrete is a funny town name. People always look at me weird when I tell them that’s where I’m from. It used to be called Cement City because of the cement plant in town. But it’s never been a city. The population is currently 700-something, down from 900-something when I went to school there.