It’s time to share my crummy, lousy, no good and roly poly bug infested world with you all. Yeah, I’ve had better weeks… but like Billy Ocean once said, when the going gets tough, the tough get funny. And you know me, Fucking Hilarious is my middle name. It made for awkward times when I was in trouble as a kid and mom had to yell my full name out the door…
Anyway, this is the day I share my world with Melanie’s questions she provides every week. And apparently my lame attempts to start off each post with a funny picture actually paid off in last week’s SYW, ad Melanie actually used the fingerpainting boy who first appeared on my blog to mock sandwich bags to create this week’s entry in the SYW Logo a Go Go! It’s pretty nifty, don’t you think?
If confronted with a violent crime against a single individual in progress (severe beating, rape, assault) do you try to do something about it (phone authorities or confront the criminal, stop the crime) or do you figure it’s none of your business and walk or drive on by? Worse (to me) would you record the crime for social media use without doing anything else?
Well, since I don’t have a cell phone (Even the infamous flip phone of SCT propdom has been disconnected), that removes two of the options. I don’t know if any of us (unless we’ve actually been in the situation before) can honestly say what we would do if faced with coming across a serious act of violence that could possibly pose a threat to our own safety as well if we intervened…
So I have to ask that proverbial question I do every time I’m not sure of something. What would my Shelf critters do?
BUSTER: HELP! HELP!
TROLL: Holy Batman, Robin! That dude’s beating that possum with a bowling pin! What should I do!?!?
SNUGGLE: Well played, bro!
TROLL: If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em!
CHIP: Are you getting a good shot of this, Sponkie?
SPONKIE 2: You bet, boss!
CHIP: Sorry pal, I’m with the Shelf News Network, and I’m only here to observe and report on this breaking news event! Could you please turn your face a bit more towards the camera, Mr. Victim?
SNUGGLE: Cool! If it bleeds, it leads!
BUSTER: Oh thank goodness! Someone’s got a cellphone! Please, sir! Call the police at once to stop these attackers and save my life!!!!
MR. FOX: ……………………………………………
If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?
Could you imagine me trying to teach someone how to make a Shelf Critter Theatre episode? Actually, I already kinda did that, and the results were pretty awesome!
Other than that, any apprentice of mine would probably just learn how to stock shelves and sit around the house on their ass all day…
First think of a product.
Now, what would be the absolute worst brand name for one of those products?
What ridiculous and untrue, yet slightly plausible, theories can you come up with for the cause of common ailments like headaches or cavities?
Well, it isn’t ridiculous and untrue, but all of these annoying pains are obviously the cause of voodoo dolls. We may all have a guardian angel watching over us, but you can best believe we also all have a tribal shaman who looks upon us with glee and a whole box full of hat pins…
If you’d like to, please share a photo or an example of gratitude that you have.
It can’t be a completely shitty week if I was able to take a picture of a rainbow last Wednesday morning…